It’s sad saying goodbye to bands that play that special kind of soothing metal that inspires sweaty, stinky freaks to jump, dive or prance into a pit and cause gleeful self-immolation. It is both the sounds they make on stage from the furious roar into the microphone to the metal thrashing mad guitar playing that drives the kids nuts to the giant footstep thud of the bass and drums that sound like your right underneath a medieval war dance.

The Quit Your Band and Get a Real Job tour is the found farewell of Tennesse’s A Plea for Purging and As Hell Retreats. They played their last Ohio show Friday August 24 at The Attic with a Haemolacria tear in the eye, a heavy metal heart and a Chelsea Grin from ear to ear. Though they loved touring and seeing the fans across the nation the rigors of road life had got to them and were ready to settle down and be normal/respectable folk again. But not before they gave the crowd a thoroughly severe kiss goodbye dose of noise corruption.

Kettering’s happy groove metal Ignite the Empires were the first of the surrounding areas finest young up-starts to help say goodbye. Screaming Soprano Nick Moshos and band gave a truly uniformed performance proudly sporting work shirts, name-tags, bow ties and aprons that pay the bills. Alongside some unison metal hopping Moshos let out a Pepperidge Farm collection of crying, banshee yells and pig destroying vocals. They indulged in some government cheese with their Cheap Wine and opinions on the state of the union. Mild mannered Moshos pulled an unexpected cartoonish gesture Superman style, minus the phone booth, breaking out/thrashing out in a presumably alter ego Sponge Bob outfit (possible second job at Nickelodeon). Proving that even animated yellow cleaning accessories that soak can be hard-core. Next up was a nice little loud twanger ’bout Them Trailer Park Boys.

Dayton’s own local living legends Gnashing of Teeth sporting a veteran band history rivaling both headliner’s combined have definitely put the time in earning their spiked fist in the face reputation for onstage sound mangling. Formed in 1993 originally called Enslaved (not the Norwegian progressive metal band) with a different sound. Taking a break in December 1995, they chose their known biblical bicuspid biting moniker and their piece of local history was born. Several members changes later their coming back stronger, fiercer, and louder than ever. Founding member guitarist/vocalist Duane White has kept the gritting/grinding sound alive releasing Walking The Appian Way in 2010 on Sancrosanct Records and is working on new material for future release.

Their harmonious artillery range of sound bludgeoning began with Death of Beauty. They played disk opener Separate with its Burton C. Bell yells and technical string prowess and old school Arch Enemy sound/Meshuggah delivery of Death By Design. Singer Chris McKinney, a Daniel Bryan fan, threw the stage into himself resembling a young Buzz Osborne screaming like he could and would swallow your soul showing off sparkling dental work. Playing their own unique conveyor belt metal with the mechanized fury of Fear Factory and brutality of Slayer conjuring up hell fire and brimstone through their instruments. Their harmonies and ‘softer’ parts are like riding an acid death tidal wave onto sands of sulfur from the eternal sea of madness while their spiked mallet to the noggin chugs n riffs and earthquake inducing delivery could bring the house down, literally.

Hamiltons female fronted The Rose Hill was next. Originally named the Epidemic in 2007 they’ve survived through several member changes releasing their first CD With All That I Am in 2010 and will release their second effort Powerless on Sancrosanct in September. Don’t be fooled by a female voice leading the worship. If Rebecca St. James/Natalie Grant is your pleasant cup of tea then the loud but sweet metal screeching croaks of Bethany akin to Morgan Lander, The Agonist’s Alissa White-Gluzz with a little Angela Gossow sprinkled in will hardly be the comfortable shut-eye lullaby you’ll wanna plug into before bedtime.

If vocals that could make birds fall out of the sky wasn’t enough The Rose Hill employs a keytar player. That’s a guitar shaped keyboard for anyone born after the 80’s, Google it. An impressive antiquity to have considering production ceased in the mid 2000‘s. They’re on their second edition and if this one breaks maybe they can borrow Lady Gaga’s. It definitely added a unique ambiance and effect to the metal ripping around it. They broke out all new goodies for the crowd playing five songs from the upcoming CD. A Sinners Plea and Reaching can be previewed on their Facebook page and you can look forward to hearing Oh Wayward Girl, Forsaken and New Life when you get the CD. Bethany spent the whole set throwing all of her petite frame into every heavyweight word and in a few years could be a contender for Revolvers Hottest Chicks in Metal.

The first half of the nights Facedown alumni bidding a loud final farewell As Hell Retreats played like their namesake throwing out a menagerie of twin guitar biblical progressive death wraith math metal that would send the most evil dark hearted of the devil’s dark dominions howling away in surrender . They hit hard with a nine course set with all the hard thumping metal fixin’s and you didn’t even need a bent salad fork. They played with machine gun fire fret fingering, blasting out Young Heretic, Inferior (can be heard on Facebook), Shun, Misanthropist, A Beggar, Transgress, Raze and Matriarch. The unique technical, slow chug of some tunes made for unique free-styling pit activity breaking out and an unconfirmed report of an Irish jig was spotted. The building block metal sadly had to end at some point but not before they raised hands to the crowd and God Almighty with a blaze of glory thank you for a journey and career well spent.

A Plea for Purging answered a plea for more with a gnarled good mess of fun. Zakk Wylde’s doppelganger guitarist Blake Martin spun some true metal hair shredding for an hour presumably when he’s not stunt doubling for Halloween’s Tyler Bates. The no weight limit crowd surfing began on a sea of human bones. With fists and fury the fans threw their passion at the band and a fistful of metal was returned. Singer Andy Atkins walked the stage screaming with a red-faced pallete taking the space as his own for the evening belting out 7 years of old and new tunes that could easily be used for any respectable underground fight club. The crowd used what they had left creating an all out adrenaline bomb set to go off at Atkins calculated repeated command. The forces of human nature re-opened the pit with toxic human windmills and an old school circular tornado style pattern. They slowly slowed it down to 110 MPH so the kids could regroup. Near the end Atkins said that it was time to give up the ‘rockstar’ life and become mere mortals again getting real job s and spend cherished time with friends and family. Through all the hardships and annoyances of the road the fans made every negative worth it, thanks for listening. He also advised for any of the musically motivated to form a band, play one show and quit.

Atkins roared out a band ending bucket list of favorite tunes including ‘The Life’ the video of which was filmed during their last stop at The Attic. Shiver that has a very moving religious parody video on Youtube, Malevolence giving a how to guide for rock stardom and riches beyond imagination. Along with nine other loud face pounders hitting you like a fist wrapped in granite headache. Two bands, two breakups, one tour and a final tear down the wall curtain call.

Note: originally published at citizenusa.net