Shyness – Small Talk is Big Talk

 Shyness can be painful.
Shyness is discomfort and a lack of confidence in social situations.   Shy people often “shy away” from social gatherings which can lead some to experience a less than fulfilling social and work life.   When it comes to developing social and business relationships, Small Talk is Big Talk.

There is quite a bit of buzz around introverts on the internet these days.  Being an introvert is not the same thing as being shy.  Many introverts can, and do, socialize easily.  Introverts get more energized by having quiet time rather than spending time in social situations.   Extroverts tend to get energized by being in social situations.

Both extroverts and introverts can experience shyness, and may struggle with small talk and one-on-one conversations.

According to shyness researchers Carducci and Zimbardo, “most shyness is acquired through life experiences.”  They also state “Shy people want very much to be with others but lack the social skills and self-esteem.”

When shyness has a negative impact on a person’s quality of life, it might be time to take some action on developing social skills and confidence.

Shyness is largely a “learned” behavior, which means it can be unlearned.  That is great news for the shy!

Two primary components of becoming less shy are developing social skills and improving self-esteem.   Small talk is an essential social skill for our personal and work lives.

Small talk has many functions in socializing.  It is used to establish a mutual willingness to be friendly, as an opportunity to discover mutual interest, as a prelude to business conversation, to pass time, and as a way to transition from meaningful conversation to politely ending a conversation.

Small talk is the first step to developing friendships and business relationships.    It is uncommon for two strangers to immediately engage in deep meaningful conversation without first exchanging at least a bit of small talk.

Despite the term “small” small talk is a BIG deal.  Small talk is used throughout our lives, at parties, in elevators, in job interviews, at church socials, and in the break room at work. Small talk is a very big deal in dating and finding romance.

Local life coach and trainer Clara Jackson  is offering a 2 hour workshop on September 19th for shy people to learn some basic small talk skills.  For more information on the workshop click here.