In the spirit of all things Valentine’s, I felt the need to write a little something about my fabulous dating life. If you didn’t sense the sarcasm in that first statement, please read further. Being 30 something and single is fairly common and as ridiculous as dating can sometimes be, Dayton on top of all its other perks is very single friendly, more on that later. First, let’s talk about dating.
As a professional in marketing who dabbles in interactive media, a good majority of my life is digitized. While I enjoy being able to connect and engage with people on the regular, it’s a very hard habit break when off the clock and there are just certain things in life that do not need to be so “digital”. However, taking the natural course of action with regard to dating, seems to have lost its appeal and many are looking for love on the world wide web. Online dating, yeah, let’s talk about that. In all honesty, I view my participation on these sites as more of a social experiment rather than a means to find that “one true love”. It’s been more entertaining than successful. Here is what I’ve learned.
The Perks
Online dating definitely allows you to focus more on initial conversations rather than the physical attraction aspect of dating, which I am hoping is still important. Communication is paramount to the success of any relationship and we all know this. Dating sites encourage and provide a comfortable setting to get to know one another over time without the pressure of spontaneous meetings that lead to awkward conversations and having to come up with things to say at random. Witty as I am, I’m seriously challenged in the art of conversation sometimes when it comes to dating.
The Flaws
Or risk factors should I say. False advertising. You never really know what you’re getting. People can say whatever they want in a profile and though I’m not shallow with much concern about looks, pictures are easily edited these days and there’s really no telling who will show up on your first date, in comparison to what you saw on Match.com or wherever. You’ve been warned.
My Experience
I’ve had several dates from several different sites and guess what, I’m still single. Am I datable? Sure I am. Then what went wrong? In most cases, the flaw I mentioned earlier was the issue. The men I agreed to meet were digitally pleasing but not so much in person. My standards and expectations aren’t anything out of the norm but if a guy says he’s 6 ft tall and all 5’ 5” of him shows up for dinner..yeah, I have a problem with that. Or the guy who calls himself an “entrepreneur” who’s really just not employed and lacking in anything remotely close to having ambition. There’s also the guy who say’s he’s single but is in a relationship just testing the waters or weighing his options. Oh and the guy who doesn’t date girls with tattoos and is really careful about who he brings around his colleagues but wasn’t able to fully read a profile that clearly indicates “has a few tattoos”. Hopefully he meets with those colleagues on how to read thoroughly, maybe they can help him. I won’t bore you further with more stories but let’s just say it’s not been all candy and roses, more like “To Catch a Predator”.
Single in the City
While I continue on the quest for love, I’m still having a grand ole time in this city. I’d like to share a few things that make this city so “single friendly” especially for those of you who are Valentine’s challenged this year. Here are a few things you can do solo that are great time and don’t leave you feeling like a social outcast because you’re alone. These are a few of my favorite spots, but there is so much to do in this city to keep busy.
Get Your Culture On.
Dayton Opera
Stuff Your Face..But Be Healthy About It. (You want to look good when you do get a date)
Have a Cocktail.
Now Disconnect.
Like any woman, ideally a relationship is something that I want but I am not entirely sure I’m into the online dating scene. In life there are so many opportunities to meet people. Get off your damn computer, get out and enjoy life. Then, be surprised by those you encounter in the process because who knows who can meet! I find that some of our greatest pleasures in life are those that happen when we least expect them. If you insist on digital dating, be safe and smart about it. Invest time to really get to know someone before agreeing to meet in public. Let your friends or family know when and where you’re meeting prior to and then enjoy your date.
Oh and by the way, thanks to Lisa Grisgby and WDTN, I know that when I do find love, I’m in one of the most romantic cities there is! Something to look forward to, eh? But if you are alone this Valentine’s Day, don’t worry yourself about it. It’s a dumb holiday that makes people feel down on themselves if they’re not in a relationship. It’s a day to boast about love and frankly when its real there’s no need to make a big fuss about it. Go out and pamper yourself, do something fun and enjoy you. It’s 24 hours and it will be over before you’ve eaten that entire box of chocolates or pint of ice cream while watching a bunch of movies by Nicholas Sparks. Just smile and be happy, it will be over before you know it.
Oh and if you have an interesting story about dating, being single in Dayton or anything related…I encourage you to share your story!
Leave a Reply