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30 Days Positive – In Closing

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I thought long and hard about to close this series. I’m not sure that any amount of words could really capture what I have learned over the last month and I don’t think this journey to raise awareness is even near completion.  The experience has taught me that letting go of fear sometimes puts you in a remarkable position to help people.  Being active in your local community and aware of the issues and causes around the world keeps you in touch with where help is needed…and I never really understood the amount of help truly needed until I let go of my fear in trying to understand the disease.

The goal of this series was to raise awareness through my experiences in learning about the AIDS/HIV virus. I remember growing up and it being a buzz topic, all over the news and media..people were just trying to understand the magnitude of the disease and as I child that couldn’t possibly understand.  Time has passed and it’s not something ever really discussed in my circle and by those around me and I started to really wonder, had we forgotten about AIDS?

The stories below capture only some of the stories shared with me. There were many conversations and meetings that I have been asked to leave out of the series due to confidentiality concerns. I respect those wishes and still offer gratitude to all who came forward, it took courage to do so. If ever there is a need or want to reach out again, I encourage that you reach out to me to share your story.  In hearing them,  I have put to rest a lot of my own misconceptions and in sharing I have done the same for others.

On a personal note,  I would like to again thank Lisa Grigsby and her staff at ARC and for the great people sharing things to do in Dayton at Daytonmostmetro.com for allowing me to steer away from my normal column material and work on this series. I will continue to share and connect people to resources on Facebook.  Thank you again to all who helped in to spread the word about this series and AIDS.

The Stories

Are We Awake Yet?

This week I had an opportunity to investigate AIDS “now” on more of a global level.  An estimated 40,000 children in South Africa are infected with HIV each year reflecting an impoverished region lacking in both awareness and prevention. 40,000 Children…and the number of premature deaths due to HIV/AIDS has risen significantly over the last decade from 39 percent to 75 percent in 2010 in South Africa. It is estimated there are 1.9 million AIDS orphans where one or both parents are deceased in South Africa and that the HIV/AIDS epidemic is responsible for half of the country’s orphans.  Read More

A Love Story

Have you ever considered that many contract the HIV virus on accident, through no fault of their own? It is something I personally never really thought about until recently, that there are people out there who are responsible and take precautions but still can be exposed and infected. Both tragic and somewhat scary to think about, I sat down this week with a person who had that very thing happen. Read More

Tested – A Moment of Clarity

With cold, clammy hands and a lump in my throat I dialed from the lobby phone at ARC, Dayton OH – “I’m here to be tested.”  I’m 32 years old, why was this my first time here?  Getting tested for the HIV virus is something I had thought about many times but actually doing it has been something that frightened me and for one reason alone.  Doing so would force me to face the reality of some poor decision making and uncover and bring to light, my internal and self confidence issues that ultimately lead to making those decisions.  Read More

A Journey Towards Change

Last week I dropped a hint that I had been working on a story and this week I have a little more to tell. This isn’t about dating, my life of chaos or anything most who know me would expect me to write about.  What I am about to embark on will challenge me emotionally and force me to face a fear that I admittedly have had for my entire life and am not proud of. Read More

How You Can Help.

AIDS.gov

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ACT:s

ARC

WE>AIDS

30 Days Positive – Follow the Journey

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30 Days Positive – Children Caring for Children

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The global HIV/AIDS epidemic is an unprecedented crisis that requires an unprecedented response. In particular it requires solidarity — between the healthy and the sick, between rich and poor, and above all, between richer and poorer nations. We have 30 million orphans already. How many more do we have to get, to wake up?”
— Kofi Annan – 2001

Are We Awake Yet?

This week I had an opportunity to investigate AIDS “now” on more of a global level.  An estimated 40,000 children in South Africa are infected with HIV each year reflecting an impoverished region lacking in both awareness and prevention. 40,000 Children…and the number of premature deaths due to HIV/AIDS has risen significantly over the last decade from 39 percent to 75 percent in 2010 in South Africa. It is estimated there are 1.9 million AIDS orphans where one or both parents are deceased in South Africa and that the HIV/AIDS epidemic is responsible for half of the country’s orphans.

Left Behind.

In some cases orphaned, often HIV infected, children are cared for by institutions but with an overwhelming amount of children and lack of resources it is seemingly impossible to help them all, let alone stop the cycle from continuing.

This week I met with Felito Utuie,  who is here in Dayton, OH visiting from Mozambique.  At 29 years old, he has spent a majority of his life focused on outreach and missions to improve the quality of life for 1000s of people.  Felito, explained the devastating numbers of children who are left with no one to care for them because of  the still growing AIDS epidemic. His regions lack of educational resources forces many fathers to leave their families for work in other cities because they don’t have adequate training, being gone for years at time. He describes, infidelity as being fairly common and husbands succumbing to temptation from prostitutes while being away from their wives for long periods of time. This has lead to the rise of infection being spread and when they return to their villages, so does the HIV virus; infecting their wives and increasing mother-to-child infection.  This cycle has lead to some over 380,000 orphans in Gaza, a region where Felito has ventured upon his next outreach. One of which, he believes will have a remarkable impact.

“Children caring of children” is how Felito explained the devastating numbers of those with no one to care for them. We know that the loss of a parent  has an immense emotional impact on child but to be without any else to care for them once their gone is a far worse tragedy. An estimated 70 percent of those orphaned are the result of losing their parent to the AIDS virus in South Africa.

A New Village

I felt chills listening to the stories and watching Felito as he talked about his journey and how for most of his life his path has been to help others.  I referred to his vision as being a new village as he laid out the blueprints of what he was planning because calling it an orphanage really does it no justice.  A center of stability, education, empowerment and most importantly one which will provide the family dynamic these children so desperately need is what Felito is getting ready to create.  While his focus is to help with the short term needs of the orphans the home will be residence to,  he has also considered heavily what he can do to stop the cycle by working with adults and caretakers as well as educating the young.

I asked Felito for a ballpark figure of the costs associated with his plan thinking he was going to have to raise some unfathomable amount and was floored when he said, ” Only $50,000 to build the orphanage.” Individual homes for both the children and their caretakers, recreational programs, education and career centers, land for farming  and livestock  are among several other offerings including health and wellness all on 73 Acres of Lands will cost $2 million to complete however which he will rely on donation partly for.

Despite awareness campaigns, accurate knowledge about HIV and AIDS is still poor amongst the people and children Felito has come across on his missions and he would also like to focus more on educating on prevention. I had to sit back and take a breath because I couldn’t really put my hands around one person taking on such mission, but he his and I was in awe.

I asked about  government barriers and if there were anything hindering him from moving forward. Felito described his efforts as being met with little resistance but that most officials (Chiefs) wanted something for themselves in return for “allowing his efforts which was of no real surprise to him or myself.  Politics are the same no matter what side of the world you are on.

Could one person really be so selfless to embark on such a journey? The answer was clearly yes, but Felito also explained his personal connection to the AIDS virus. Having a brother who had died from the disease, Felito understood first hand the devasting affects the disease has on both the infected and their loved ones.  Healthcare and AIDS resources in South African Countries are substantially different then that of other countries, though minimal improvements have been made. It is evident that awareness and prevention are measurable efforts that these countries will rely on more in years to come.

More on AIDS and South Africa

While AIDS continues to be a global concern, almost all those living with HIV (97%) reside in low- and middle-income countries, particularly in sub-Saharan Africa approximately 22.4 million people. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), most people living with HIV or at risk for HIV do not have access to prevention, care, and treatment in these countries affected. South Africa’s HIV and AIDS epidemic has had a devastating effect on children in a number of ways. There were an estimated 330,000 under 15 years old living with HIV in 2009. Other infectious diseases, food insecurity, and economic instability plague these regions and though an astounding amount of funds and programs have been given to create new programs for awareness and prevention, the fight still continues.

How You Can Help.

AIDS.gov

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ACT:s

ARC

WE>AIDS

30 Days Positive – Follow the Journey

I commend Felito on his efforts and I am honored to have had the chance to sit down with him. I am once again reminded of the magnitude of  AIDS and how it is affecting the world around me. I look forward to following him on his journey, our continued friendship and one day visiting his village and partaking on his mission.

AIDS is a global problem and there should be a global solution found by the entire international community. It is really scary to see and imagine our world fall into pieces because we refuse to share and put in the common vestiges of our civilizations.
Sarah Polley

30 Days Positive – A Love Story

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Follow the Journey

Have you ever considered that many contract the HIV virus on accident, through no fault of their own? It is something I personally never really thought about until recently, that there are people out there who are responsible and take precautions but still can be exposed and infected. Both tragic and somewhat scary to think about, I sat down this week with a person who had that very thing happen.

Due to the confidential nature of this person’s story I have left a lot of the personal details out to protect their anonymity.

A Life Well Planned Out

We all have plans for our lives and what we want to accomplish both professionally and personally is something we often think about far in advance of  those “life happenings” that set us off our track. Seldom do we think about the “what-ifs” and often we are not prepared.   For the purpose of telling this story I will refer to him as John.

John always knew that he wanted to serve his country and that the military was where he saw himself having the most impact on the world he lived in.  At a very young age he believed that joining the service was his purpose and giving back was something he had passion for.  For years he did just that.  As many soldiers do, come time for reenlistment, John’s passion to serve remained and without pause made the decision to continue after his duty had been complete.  In the process, it was discovered that all of John’s medical records had been lost and that in order to reenlist he would have to go through all of the standard testing he did when he first joined.  John believes that was a sign.  Life was about to change.

A call was placed to John shortly after his results had come in and he was notified by administration that he would have to come in for further evaluation.  Frightened and confused he agreed and after further evaluation he was informed that he was HIV Positive.

Positive

John had been married and committed to both his wife and family throughout his service.  He knew that there was nothing he had done to compromise them or his own health.  While in service and overseas, John had emergency dental work performed under what he described as unsanitary and not of standard procedural conditions.  It was the one and only time that he  could think of  that he was at risk, and that one time was enough in the 90’s.  John was diagnosed in 1999. No longer able to serve his country in the way he had desired his entire life and faced with the fear of losing everything he’d worked for, John was lost.  

Though his marriage survived for quite some time it eventually came to an end because of other reasons which he explained.  He maintains that his wife was supportive but the relationship was no longer working and they both decided to move on.  Alone for the first time, John faced the fear that it would be impossible to find love again, to find someone who would understand and support him. I myself wondered that very thing as we was talking.  Emotional wreck that I am, I’ve often wondered who would love me with all of my tattoos and baggage but this just made my worries seem so ridiculous.

A New Life

Though he struggled with not being able to return to active duty, John remained positive that life did exist post diagnosis.  He persisted and held on to his passion and ultimately found another way to do what he loved doing and be part of something bigger than himself and has been successful in doing so.  “Treatment and living with the virus has changed substantially over the decade”, he explained. Once a 12 pill a day regimen to now just 1, John explained that it wasn’t something he even thought about much anymore. With great energy he exclaimed that, “he was the healthiest and happiest that he had ever been in life.”  Sitting next to him during the interview, was his quiet and bashful now wife, a woman who I found to be both admirable and genuine.  Throughout the interview they were holding hands and smiling at one another and all I kept thinking was if I am ever to be in successful relationship this is probably what it’s supposed to be like.

Though John struggled for a long time thinking that he would never find love again, through initially a strong  friendship he was able to find the person who if you sat across from you’d come to the same conclusion as I did;  these two were meant to find one another. Their story about when John broke the news to his now wife about being HIV Positive oddly enough, brought laughter to both as they discussed the evening it took place. John remembered being more nervous than at any point in his life and let’s call her Jane, was laughing when she described her response as less than concerned and relieved that it wasn’t “something major”.  Is this a sign that true love sees past black and white or that society as a whole has become more comfortable and truly understands the disease?  The optimist in me would like to believe both.

AIDS in 2011

33.4 million are currently living with HIV/AIDS globally, more than one million people are living with HIV in the U.S. One in five living with HIV is unaware of their infection and though a small percentage has been through accidental infection the fact remains that those cases do exist.

Graph of Men/Women living with AIDS in the USA

“It is what it is. I don’t think about it really anymore..in fact, I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been .. even before being diagnosed. I don’t let the fact that I am HIV positive rule my life..I’m successful and happy.” In closing, John offered me one thought which I pondered for hours after the interview. That things in life will happen, things which no matter how hard we try we will never be prepared for but with conviction and hope, life will continue as it was meant to be. Part of this series was to bring to light that there is world around us with people who are facing real problems and often we get caught up in things that really don’t matter. Remember that today is today and tomorrow brings opportunity for new.  Help those in need and live a meaningful life respecting and appreciating what you’ve been given because out there is someone who has less. Just something to think about.

Meeting John and his wife has evolved my thinking of this disease  as well as how I view my own life.

30 Days Positive – TESTED “A Moment of Clarity”

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Follow the Journey

With cold, clammy hands and a lump in my throat I dialed from the lobby phone at ARC, Dayton OH – “I’m here to be tested.”  I’m 32 years old, why was this my first time here?  Getting tested for the HIV virus is something I had thought about many times but actually doing it has been something that frightened me and for one reason alone.  Doing so would force me to face the reality of some poor decision making and uncover and bring to light, my internal and self confidence issues that ultimately lead to making those decisions.

Above All, Love Yourself

In life we love.  In fact, finding love and being with someone for the rest of our lives is something each of us desire at one time or another.  We often say that with love comes hurt and though at times it does, love can certainly have other consequences. Often we get caught up in the emotions and happiness of finding someone that we neglect not only our own needs but also tend to lose the relationship between ourselves and that inner feeling that keeps us from making well thought out decisions. We focus on protecting our hearts and fade out that inner voice that helps to protect what’s more important – our lives. I am willing to bet that I am not alone on this one.

The Ghost of Sexual Past

One of the things in the past that I have not always considered is that though I may have been somewhat responsible throughout my life, I’d rarely question a partner, a boyfriend that is, on their responsible decision making. Naïve as it may sound I never once second guessed what I’ve been told with regard to the sexual past of my partners.  I’ll question their commitment to me, where they’ve been late at night and who they’ve been hanging out with but not who they’ve slept with? Strange.  Over the last two years I have determined that in love I become a total ass. I get caught up in a fairy tale and lose sight of what is important.   Only over the last year of my life do I fully understand what it means to respect not only yourself but your body and how important it is that your value of yourself take precedent over all else.

Have You Ever?

Those who know me know the things I’ve had to overcome in the last two years.  Admittedly, I have chosen to have a good time rather than face the issues at hand from one time or another.  As I sat there in the testing room with the Counselor answering the standard questions and my answering no to most, I had flashbacks of several occasions when I was in no position to make any kind of decision let alone go home with someone which probably would have lead to more answers being yes. Luckily, my friends have kept me out of harm’s way on numerous occasions but what if they hadn’t been  there? One stupid mistake and life as I knew it could have changed in an instant. I thank God every day that because of the support I have in my life that I now value myself more and do my best to keep out of sticky situations but there is always that chance when you are feeling down to succumb to behavior that will aid in making the wrong decision. View your life as the miracle it is and never forget that.

 

 

Negative.

Was I surprised? Not in the least yet waiting for the Counselor to turn the swab around was the longest 15 minutes of my life.  The experience was eye wakening and the conversation was life changing. If you are one of the people that still thinks of AIDS as being a GAY or Drug User disease, you’re wrong and that thinking is detrimental to awareness being raised amongst all. I assure you ALL of us need to be more aware.  Think back through your life and understanding the risks, there may have been a time that you too once put yourself into the red zone. Though you may not think that your behavior is risky if you think back to every sexual encounter you’ve had I’m positive there was a time when you weren’t always of sound mind…more than likely there was a spontaneous moment or two. If not, keep up the good work. I commend you but always consider all the factors because remember it isn’t just where you have been but where your partner has been.  Know and understand all of the risks. I don’t think after going through the testing that I will put myself at risk again. A negative read had a positive impact.

The Correlation

I share my above experiences only because I know many of us have been there. I would never criticize anyone for how they choose to live their life but I would encourage that from time to time you think about how much you really respect your own life. If at times your behavior or actions indicate that you’ve not fully considered the impact on your life those actions may have, then it may be time to rethink how you’re living your life.  Respect yourself and the lives of others.  AIDS is not one dimensional. It is a disease of mothers, fathers, grandparents, children, men and women whether not by fault or by one mistake this disease is affecting millions and no one “type” in particular.

Never violate the sacredness of your individual self-respect.  – Theodore Parker

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Get Tested

AIDS Resource Center Ohio is proud to offer an orally administered, rapid result HIV test.  The test is free, painless, and quick!  The test is administered confidentially and anonymously by request and requires only a swab of cheek cells from inside your mouth.  Twenty minutes later and under normal circumstances, you will be presented with preliminary positive results about your current HIV status.

30 Days Positive – A Journey Towards Change.

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30 Days Positive – AIDS …Then and Now. – Follow the Journey on Facebook

Last week I dropped a hint that I had been working on a story and this week I have a little more to tell. This isn’t about dating, my life of chaos or anything most who know me would expect me to write about.  What I am about to embark on will challenge me emotionally and force me to face a fear that I admittedly have had for my entire life and am not proud of.

AIDS

The very thought of AIDS, contracting, being around people with the disease even just hearing the disease mentioned is something that has always triggered a myriad of emotions that frighten me to my core. Though there have been advances in medicine, treatments and research towards finding a cure, still to this day for me it’s something I’d rather not know about,  something I’ve just closed my eyes to.  That is about to change and for many reasons.  Facing my fear is a huge part of why I am about to do what I am but another reason is to help people out there who share my fear, and I know you’re out there.

30 Days Positive

Every 9½ minutes, someone in the U.S. is infected with HIV. The impact of the HIV epidemic continues to span the nation with HIV diagnoses, since the first cases of what later became known as AIDS were reported in the United States in June of 1981. Globally, more than 25 million people have died of AIDS since the first cases were reported in 1981.  AIDS has become one of the world’s most serious health and development challenges. Despite being a growing epidemic, awareness has lead to prevention and helped to reduce HIV prevalence rates in a small but growing number.  The fight still continues.

Admittedly, I know very little about the disease and what it means to be a person then and now battling the virus that has killed 25 million people. What I do know or feel now, is that my problems and those of many others are nothing in comparison to what those diagnosed and living with the disease face on a daily basis.  For the next 30 days, I will walk in their shoes.

Over the next 30 Days I will open my life up entirely to candid and heartfelt discussions with those newly diagnosed and those who have been living with the disease for years. I will learn about the risks today compared to then and what awareness has done to impact prevention both in our region, across the nation and globally. I will experience what it means to be a person in 2011 with the disease through partaking in all of the daily routines. I will learn and share what is being done to educate and prevent the spread. This ongoing series will capture not only the emotions but the struggles faced by a person living with AIDS in 2011.  It will also identify what we as humans can do to help with those struggling today both here in Dayton and around the world because out of sight is NOT out of mind.

Why Do This?

Those who know me know that I am often caught saying, “Get a real problem to complain about.” To explain, I feel that there are many of us who walk through this life baffled and stressed by such trivial matters and nothing will change in the world until we realize there is much more going on around us that deserves those emotions and acknowledgement.  As human beings, it is OUR responsibility to reach out and help those around us, with whatever they are dealing with when we have the opportunity to do so.  For a very long time, I lived my life in a bubble very narrow in my mindset about the purpose of  my life and what it means to be a good person.  My profession has opened my eyes to a world around me with people whom are in desperate need of help, of caring and understanding but most importantly for a world of people around THEM to wake up and take action.  It’s time to take action.

I would like to thank ARC and Lisa Grisby in advance for agreeing to let me be a part of what they are doing and allowing me to take part on what is not just a story but a chapter of my life that will forever change who I am. Thank you also to Daytonmostmetro.com for letting me stray away from my rants and do something  more meaningful. I encourage you to follow me on this journey.  There will be columns, video as well as an opportunity to participate in conversations on social channels but I will adhere to confidentially and respect to all who participate. Throughout this series I will also identify and capture ways in which you too can get involved.  My only goal in doing this is to open eyes and use what little influence I have for good because I know in my  heart that hundreds, thousands maybe even millions still know as little as I do.  Whether because of fear or just lack of awareness it has to change.

“I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.”  – Edward Everett Hale