Over the years I’ve held onto some pretty intense grandiose expectations of love and relationships. The hopeless romantic in me has sent me on voyage of unmet fantasies. Now, with most things I would tend to feel that I am unique and that others aren’t as delusional as me but fortunately I have friends who are just as misguided about love as I am. How can this be? When did it all begin? I didn’t grow up with June and Ward Cleaver that’s for sure so my parents or upbringing had nothing to do with it. I’m sure my mother will read this and be ecstatic that I’m not blaming them for this too. No it wasn’t my family or watching my parents marriage so what really lead to my thinking that “Happily Ever After” involved a night shining armor and lifetime of singing birds, candy and roses?

I wondered about this for a few days as I found myself once again with a head riddled with wild fantasies. Then started to think about the movies I’ve loved throughout the years, the books that have had me enthralled for weeks, the shows on TV that turn me into a wishy washy mess. The sugar coating from otherwise sources of entertainment that really have just filled my head with a bunch of bullshit that doesn’t apply to the reality I am living in. The Real World.

With that said, I thought it would be interesting to examine some of the rubbish I grew up on, read and even watch today.

Fairy Tale Princesses – What a Crock.

I admit it, I dressed up and pranced around like a magical fairy tale princess when I was kid. Who didn’t? With movies like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White heck even Aladdin it was very easy at a young age to let my imagination run wild, problem is I still tend to do it. Let’s look at Sleeping Beauty for example. Asleep for 100 hundreds years waiting on a kiss to bring her back to life? So, there is a man out there that has the capability of wakening her from a curse and with one kiss she finds herself awake from death and living happily ever after? Hmm. This to me would mean that no matter what has happened in the past, out there is a man who is so remarkable he has the ability to lift a gal out of years of endless bullshit from one guy after the other, or sadness, or just plain boredom in my case. Who knows, but I just don’t think it happens that way. Which is probably why I started watching Horror movies at such a young age, perhaps at a young age I knew Disney was nothing but BS.

Molly Ringwald – Hope For Awkward Girls.

I loved every single one of her movies. Why? Because for some reason they made me think that awkward and somewhat socially inept gals could find themselves in the arms of a hunk. With the exception of the rather creepy Andrew McCarthy, Molly kind of managed to land the awesome guy all the time. I have to tell you, I spent four years in high school, a red head even at times and never once seemed to pull off being somewhat geeky, awkward and also attractive. The weird girl in high school doesn’t have allure and never once did I actually end up with some boy I had a crush on. Great movies and I still to this day love them but they kind of gave me false hope. I think my parents even forgot my 16th Birthday and frankly I would have rather ended up with Bryce (John Cusak) anyway. High school was far from any John Hughes movie frankly.

Nicholas Sparks

I won’t lie. I own and have watched The Notebook over a hundred times I’m sure. I’ve read it and several of his books. He’s become my nemesis of sorts because I think he, more than anyone contributes to my twisted contorted views of love and romance. I can’t help but get sucked into to any story that involves people growing old together though. I cry like a baby and then I walk away wanting that very thing, which really I do. Don’t get me wrong it’s a goal of mine to be that old couple you see holding hands in the park. I still believe that true love lasts forever, I just wish he wasn’t so damn good at painting that picture because sometimes it doesn’t exactly happen that way. It doesn’t help that close friends have often compared me to Rachel McAdams in that movie, either. Though I’ve yet to stumble across a guy who finds my irrational temper tantrums cute enough to fall in love with me, not one that looks like Ryan Gosling anyway. Side note, his beard in that movie is marvelous.

Even Vampires Find Love

Am I wrong for being a little bitter that even a corpse and an allbeit nerd find their way to love? The Twilight Series, maybe you’ve heard of it? Another awkwardly clumsy dork “Bella” ends of up with this GQ looking vampire and they live happily ever after. If you haven’t read the books, please do though. They’re great. Thing about it however is that love sometimes doesn’t conquer all. I know couples that can’t even get passed the guy not putting the toilet seat down yet these two manage to stick together one obstacle after another. I also know couples that have been through hell and back and are still together, but the numbers are diminishing. Life is hard and it’s difficult to find a person that will still hold your hand through all of life’s trials and tribulations, really difficult.

The Truth

I think life is more like romantic comedies where the weirdest situations sometimes land you in love. I am a bookworm which means I will more than likely not stop reading this nonsense, a girl has to have some guilty pleasures. The “love” in my life has lessoned my belief in finding “the one” though. Nowadays I’m just hoping one out of five guys I meet is half way decent. I have crushes but I try not be unrealistic about them, I mean whatever happens happens. I don’t think I am going to end up with some guy who I’ve been pining over for months anymore then the possibility of meeting someone while spilling coffee on myself at Starbucks. However, I’m more inclined to think that some random moment of awkwardness will lead me to this guy I’m supposed to end up holding hands in the park with, because if he likes me after that we’re meant to be. My point here is that sometimes the things we see on tv, movies or read in books can leave us hoping for unrealistic things or worse, doubt our current situation and wanting more. I remember after reading Twilight and thinking that my boyfriend at the time wasn’t being romantic enough, that he should be more like that pasty Cullen kid. Sad right? But we do it..well, ladies do anyways.

I’ve probably lessoned my chances of love after this rant.

I wonder what guys read or watch that gives them false expectations, I bet Weird Science would be on the list. I guess I’ll have to wait on my rival columnist Jason Webber from The Dayton City Paper to see what he thinks about all this.

Till next week, thanks for reading.