I Am Secure In Carrying My Man Purse
- I know the lyrics to most of Lady Gaga’s songs.
- I know that my woman is an Autumn and not a Winter, as she so erroneously believes.
- I can tell the difference between a green, a pink or a yellow based beige.
- I have been referred to as being “snarky.”
- I misunderstood and brought a tube of lube when some guys asked if I wanted to play cornhole.
- I’m the one who decorates the house and picks the color schemes. It’s only because if my better half were allowed to do it, it would look as if a Serbian whore had eaten a Family Dollar store, washed it down with a blueberry Slurpee and then vomited the whole mess up in our living room.
- I won’t watch football, baseball, hockey or basketball…but I will watch figure skating and gymnastics.
- My mom calls to discuss her plans on interior decorating.
- On that point, and not to cast any blame or anything, my mom wanted me to become a hairdresser. My grandmother wanted me to become a priest, so either way…
- I pick out fabulous greeting cards!
