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J.T. Ryder

An Interview In Five Easy Pieces

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Dave Dugan: Corporate Comic, Stand-Up Comedian And Voice Over Talent

When you see Dave Dugan perform, you may be reminded of some of those well meaning television dads who mete out their sage wisdom in a fumblingly laconic manner, usually with horrific results. His stand up comedy hinges on eloquent misdirection and an ironic demeanor that is somewhat incongruous with the situations he finds himself in. Having done hundreds upon hundreds of voice over gigs, from Midas Mufflers to Microsoft, it’s a good bet that you have heard of Dave Dugan before and just don’t know it. Having seen him perform several times, I wanted to talk with him in more depth about his voice over talents…

J.T.: Since you do so much voice over work, do you have a ritual to prepare for the particular mood or emotion you need to convey?
Dave: Sure, if they want a manly, gritty read, I chop some kindlin’ and gargle some Jack Daniels. If they want me to be all sensitive, I crank up the Tori Amos and shave with a Daisy Razor.

J.T.: Do you ever have to perform a series of intentional “outtakes” just to get some of the funny stuff out of your head so you can do a serious take?
Dave: Recently, I voiced fun facts about California for anyone renting a car in the state to hear on their navigation system. The script was of record length …took 8 days to record! Outtakes were plentiful just to keep from going stir crazy.

J.T.: What is probably the most difficult voice over that you have had to so?
Dave: I auditioned for roles in an Italian animated series that was sold to an American (broadcaster) and therefore needing English speaking voices to translate the original lines. I ended up getting the roles of two characters. One voice was a very screechy, evil bird character and for the audition I went way out of my voice range. Then when it came time to do the actual read for the show, the character had tons of lines. I strained myself big time. Pretty sure I may have collapsed a lung…

J.T.: With your comedy, your approach is so deadpan…do some audiences have difficulty in picking up on the subtleties of your act?
Dave: Sometimes a few audience members just don’t get it… and they are always asked to leave. No, not really…I’m just kidding. I usually try and play off their not following me with a series of random audience involvement comments. After doing standup comedy this long, I know I may have to make adjustments from time to time to please all audiences.

J.T.: What is your ultimate Spinal Tap moment?
Dave: A booker once scheduled me to headline ‘ a club’ in Napa Valley, California. I had visions of smart, jaded audiences sipping fine wine and appreciating my most obscure comments. Turned out to be a biker bar. Before the show was over a biker chick came up on stage and tried to wrestle me to the ground.
To save face, I made cracks about the absurdity of it all, which only seemed to make her angrier. Fortunately, her 300 pound boyfriend found that part of the show amusing and I was allowed to settle up and leave without being maimed or beheaded.

You can check out Dave Dugan live at Wiley’s Comedy Niteclub at 101 Pine St. on Thursday June 9th at 8:00pm, Friday June 10th at 9:00pm and June 11th at 8:00pm and 10:30pm. Tickets range from $5 to $12, but for our DaytonMostMetro.com readers, you can mention you read this article when you make your reservations and receive a two for one admission price.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDIRm_u8p-g’]

The Billy With The Golden Willy

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An Interview (Of Sorts) With Movie Star, Billy Willy

Billy Willy's "Professional" Headshot

The whole day began oddly. I received a phone call at around 3:00am and a quiet, muffled voice asked if I would like to meet with and interview a world famous comedian/actor/musician/bon vivant. After wiping the sleep from my eyes, I managed to mumble, “Sure.” After a few moments, another voice was transmitted through the phone which introduced itself as Billy Willy. In retrospect, I have to admit that the first voice sounded exactly like the second voice…just without a hand covering it’s mouth. Anyway, Billy Willy said that he loved my work and he was an avid reader of Rolling Stone Magazine. I was unsure of what the connection between myself and Rolling Stone was, but I was far too tired to care. We quickly set up an interview for the next day at Carmen’s on Second St. After hanging up, I rolled over and went back to sleep, quickly forgetting the conversation until I woke up the next morning and looked through my notes.

I arrived at Carmen’s several minutes before the appointed interview time and, after purchasing my lunch and walking into the back dining room, I found myself in the Twilight Zone. Well, the Twilight Zone if it had been written by William S. Burroughs and directed by David Lynch while they were both flying high on massive doses of mescaline. There, towards the back of the room, sat a lone figure, replete in a monstrously huge ten gallon Stetson, a powder blue sequined Western shirt, pegged slacks and cowboy boots…with spurs that jingled and caught the light every time the lone figure fidgeted. Assuming that the figure had to be the World Famous Comedian/Actor/Musician/Bon Vivant Billy Willy, I strode up and introduced myself…the first of many mistakes I would make within the next hour. The second would be asking him any questions, which was the next mistake that I made…

J.T.: How are you today? I’m J.T.
Billy: This doesn’t look like a French Restaurant.

J.T.: Well, I don’t think that it is…
Billy: Oh. Isn’t L’Auberge the best restaurant in town?

J.T.: Yes, but…
Billy: Well, this is a croissant, which is French, so this must be L’Auberge. I would have thought that they would have had a better wine list though…

J.T.: Well, this is…
Billy: Where’s Annie?

J.T.: Who?
Billy: Annie Leibovitz.

J.T.: Annie Leibovitz from Rolling Stone?
Billy: Yes. I thought you guys shot all your celebrity interviews.

J.T.: I don’t…this isn’t…I write for DaytonMostMetro.com…
Billy: I’m not familiar with that column. This isn’t the first time I was in Rolling Stone you know…

J.T.: Really?
Billy: Well, it wasn’t a cover story like this…

J.T.: This isn’t…
Billy: It wasn’t even really a feature article. It was more like an ad I placed to sell a guitar actually. It’s just as well that she wasn’t here. Now I don’t feel so bad about all the money I spent for professional headshots. (Hands me an envelope full of blurry Polaroid pictures)

J.T. : The only bio I could find of you, which was an old MySpace account, said that you were living in California, but that you were moving back to West Virginia. Why is that?
Billy: Well, my movie The Billy With The Dragon Willy in 3D tanked, so I’m back on the road. I don’t understand why it tanked because it was so well received on the festival circuit.

J.T.: Do you mean like at Sundance or the Tribeca Film Festival?
Billy: No. Like Clapper Gap, California’s Yam Festival and Possum Grape, Arkansas’ Jumping Toad Festival. I’m not sure where else it was shown. I think that it was actually a direct to YouTube release. Maybe the film will have a life. I thought that this film would be my big breakthrough.

J.T.: Well, speaking of your movies, it said in your bio that Billy With The Dragon Willy is kind of a sequel to your music CD Crouching Billy, Hidden Willy. I tried to locate a copy, but oddly enough, it was only released in the  Shanxi Province of China.
Billy: Yes, that was my Chinese import. My single from that ranked 386 with a bullet on the Mandarin Hot 400.

J.T: Well, The Billy With The Dragon Willy isn’t your first brush with filmmaking, was it?
Billy: No. I read for the lead role in Brokeback Mountain, but Heath Ledger got it…and look what happened to him! I ended up as an extra and was also a technical adviser for the film. You know that thing where he spit in his hand? That was my idea.

J.T.: Being in the industry in California, you must have been able to meet up and network with a lot of celebrities.
Billy: I’ve met lots of people and met lots of celebrities, but now I’m heading back, across the country on my new tour which I’m going to be launching at the Dayton Funnybone…I’m not sure why I would have crossed half the country to start a national tour, but who knows what these booking agents are thinking. I’m in Dayton now and happy to be here.

J.T.: Well, has your celebrity connections helped you out career-wise?
Billy: Well, I was recently in New York City to try out for the new Folger’s Coffee jingle contest

J.T.: Well, you must have some interesting stories about your travels. Did you make any stop offs on your way to Dayton?
Billy: I did stop off in Las Vegas and did a show there.

J.T.: I thought that Dayton was the first stop on your national tour.
Billy: Well, it was a private party. It was a children’s birthday party.

J.T.: Oh…
Billy: I did get to see some of my friends while I was there though. I know Siegfried and Roy…well, Roy. It turns out that Roy loves traditional mountain music, but Siegfried likes trance. I met them years ago when I was playing a hot Vegas club called The Rusty Trombone.

J.T.: Well, you grew up in this part of the country didn’t you?
Billy: Yes. I grew up in a Pizza Hut in Friendly West Virginia. When my parents moved there, a vacant Pizza Hut was all they could afford because they were doing God’s work. It’s not a bad thing. Like I tell people, we had a big kitchen, lots of parking and a huge dining room. I’m looking forward to moving back to Friendly, West Virginia with my son Woody. The only thing that I am not looking forward to are the UFOs.

J.T.: UFOs?
Billy: Yeah, we’re the Mountain State and that makes us easy targets for UFO abduction.

J.T.: How so?
Billy: Well, we are a little closer to the sky then you all are. I’ve never been abducted myself, which I don’t take personally because, being famous, if the aliens want to know anything about me, they can just Google me. I have had friends that have been abducted and sometimes they’re returned if they are not good enough for the aliens, and that’s sad. They become sad sacks and they feel sort of rejected.

At that point, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and, in the back of my mind, waited for Ashton Kucher to leap out so all of this would make sense. I scooted past the door to the men’s room, stepping up my pace as I reached the sweet relief of the back door that led to the alleyway. If you want to witness for yourself why Billy Willy is billed as “West Virginia’s least favorite country and Western musician, go to the Funnybone on May 12th at 7:30pm. It will only cost you $10 to see one of the most singularly bizarre acts this side of Friendly, West Virginia. Joining Billy on stage will be Michelle Metzner and Lady Jae  Je. You may also be able to pick up one of Billy’s first recordings,  Je m’appelle Billy Willy. Call (937) 429-5233 or go online at www.daytonfunnybone.com to make reservations.

Maybe You Understand Me Now

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The Philosophy Behind The Dirty Little Secrets Show

May 11, 2011 Show Poster

While, at first glance, this may seem like a very self serving article, insofar as I am the creator of the variety show Dirty Little Secrets and should not write about things I have a vested interest in. I am not, however, using this as a platform to promote the next show (which is on May 11th!) because that would not only be in bad taste and self aggrandizing , but might also be viewed as potentially unethical (…at 8:00pm!). No… instead, this is an article about the impetus for creating the show, the  philosophy behind the show and the hopes of what the show will one day become.

The way in which the idea of the show was formed was of the same fashion in which I do everything: haphazardly. It came to me slowly and was just a jumbled collection of thoughts, most of which was borne out of boredom and irritation. I was getting bored with the desperate attempts that performers and venues alike were going to entertain the masses. It probably hit critical mass when I went to see Trans Siberian Orchestra and, along with 4,263 guitarists and more lasers than the Rebel Alliance, they made it snow inside the arena. While novel in many respects, it was not nearly as useful or needed as it would be, say, in July. The irony was not lost on me as I walked back to my car in the snow, wondering why they didn’t just open up a skylight or something and allow the real snow in for free…and reduce the cost of the tickets. I also was getting bored with the whole “scene” scene.

I was never one for going to a crowded club and having beer spilled on my boots as I witnessed a “Triple Bill Extravaganza Of Epic Proportions” which turned out to be three musical groups from the same genre belting out seemingly the same melodies at a tooth shattering decibel level. The comedy scene consisted of emcee, middle act, headliner and “don’t forget to tip the wait staff!” before being unceremoniously directed to the door. Then there was the entertainment world of the theatres and pavilions and centers, which, to be honest, I would never be able to afford. Even for how high profile their acts are, there is a stringently preformatted, preprocessed feel to them, taking away any sense of danger or wonderment from the event. Straying off topic for the moment…can we please have a moratorium on the obligatory encore? This whole standing up and sitting down thing is too reminiscent of Mass and is also very disingenuous. Like there would be anyone at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert saying to themselves, “My God! I can’t believe they are going to leave without playing Freebird! Stand up! Stand up and applaud people! They may have forgotten it was on their set list!”

I began to look back in fondness at the entertainment of my youth as, growing up, I watched Shock Theater, The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and community theater where there was always a real danger in someone forgetting their lines or the stage possibly collapsing (it happened in Hagerstown, Indiana during The Fiddler On The Roof when I was about eight). There are so many things that I like, that you would never be able to find them all in one place. Where could I find good music, comedy, unusual acts, dancing and other more theatrical arts? Nowhere.

At this point, I started using the Wiley’s Comedy Niteclub Facebook page as a litmus test, posting up videos of various things, gauging people’s reactions by comments and views. I would post up random stuff from the Carol Burnett Show, Carson, the Dean Martin Show, older Catskills comedians and various vaudevillian movie clips. The reaction from the subscribers dwarfed the reactions to more modern fare. Maybe there were others that were bored or didn’t like all the frenzied build up and hype that seems to go into modern entertainment. That is when I started talking to others about the idea that was forming…

Lisa Bunny Foo-Foo and Todd The Fox

This is not to make it seem like I discovered something new, like plutonium or the law of gravity or that pair of Oakley sunglasses that I set down three months ago, which were never to be seen again. The idea that I had was simply to bring all the elements that I find entertaining into one big variety show. To be totally honest, I actually spoke to people that I had hoped would take it upon themselves to bring the show to fruition. I mean, the whole purpose of this was to entertain me, which would be pretty hard to do if I actually had to work at it! Sadly, there were no takers and it came down to a put up or shut up proposition and so I took the plunge.

The date of the first show was set for February 16th and now all I had to do was find some performers and the rest was gravy. I made a few calls and booked a few acts and thought to myself, “Is that all there is to it?” Well, my subconscious, who has had some sort of vendetta out on me for years, remained silent, allowing me to blissfully walk into the nonstop whirlwind of promotions, preparations, press releases and scheduling that comes with each show. Had I known what was to go into each show…well, read on…

Our Beautiful Waitresses: Kira, Sarah and Kristina

I had booked a phenomenal jazz singer, Patricia Berg, Geborah, a modern jazz and hip-hop dancer, Henrique Couto, a…um…he’s…well, he has a mustache. He is kind of hard to describe. He’s like what would happen if the spirits of Tiny Tim and Sam Kinison  possessed the body of Weird Al Yankovic and then coerced him to have sex with Judy Tenuta…Henrique would be the spawn of such a union. I also had a comedy troupe from Cincinnati that was supposed to be there, but they bailed at the last minute. I called Jay Madewell, who is a local musician and who was also playing drums that night for Henrique. Madewell suggested that I call Todd the Fox, who, as luck would have it, was available that evening. One of the other essential facets of the show was the selection of the waitresses. I knew I wanted unique, friendly waitresses and I thought it would be neat for them to be able to dress in retro or pin-up clothing. I wanted the waitresses to be the very beautiful face of the show, and model Sarah Walls, dance instructor Kira LaFave and the very versatile Kristina Savage have gone way beyond my expectations. If anything, they are not only the face of the show; they are the heart of the show.

Our Beautiful Waitresses: Lily, Sarah, Kira and Kristina.

Aside from a few technical glitches (don’t trust me around a CD player) the evening went beautifully…and this is where all of the time I had invested in running around, making phone calls and the ensuing chaos was made worthwhile. When the emcee, Vincent Holiday, said, “Goodnight!” and the lights came up…no one left. No one left and there was this energy…people were excited. The performers wanted to talk to the audience and the audience wanted to talk to the artists and to each other. Some of the musicians were taken aback because they were not used to performing in front of a “listening” audience and they had to scale back the act that they were used to performing in front of a rowdy bar crowd. The audience was exposed to forms of music and dance and comedy that they may never would have experienced before because they were usually performed at venues that they may not frequent. The performers were influenced by other performers that they, in turn, may never have shared a stage with. That is when I knew that this was right.

Over the course of several shows, we have had fantastic rock, ballad, R&B, soul and jazz singers, accomplished guitarists, drummers, saxophonists and other sundry musicians. We have had belly dancing, shadowbox dancing and other various forms of dance as well as sideshow performers, comedians and poets. Each show has unintentionally taken on it’s own hue and flavor, dictating for itself what the other acts should be, how it should be promoted and any other special features. For instance, the last show featured shadow dancers, a spoken word artist, a belly dancer, an R&B singer, an improv comedy troupe and Al Holbrook, who is a phenomenal soul/R&B singer and keyboardist. In contrast, the upcoming show will have legendary musician/comedian Dow Thomas, Kaleb Kane and Reverend Tommy Gunn from Hollywood’s FreakShow Deluxe, the lucha surf band Team Void and, rounding out the weirdness, hosts and emcees, A. Ghastlee Ghoul and Baron Von Porkchop, whose Tales of the Macabre television show has marched on in the footsteps of Dr. Creep. The next show will have…hell, I have no clue what the next show will have. It could have zydeco musicians paired up with juggling baboons for all I know…and that’s really the point.

Shadowbox Dancer and Al Holbrook

In an age of homogenized, prepackaged consumables (entertainment included) I think there should still be a danger there. I think that the audience should be should be able to come in to a theatrical setting and be surprised instead of entering with a head full of preconceived notions. I think that everyone who witnesses one of these shows should have a niggling feeling at the base of their skull telling them that, at any moment, all of this could go horribly wrong as it is all done without a net. I think that, when the show is over, the audience and the artists should be able to walk away with swirling images of the moments of unexpected brilliance that that they had witnessed, like when Todd The Fox and Lisa Bunny Foo-Foo took to the stage with a guitar, a suitcase and a washboard and tore the house down. This is all just proving that there is more out there on the desperate horizons of our everyday life that can still not only entertain and audience, but can make that audience feel as if they are part of the show as well, taking them out of the role of voyeur and allowing them to see through that fourth wall, sharing the symbiotic energy with the artists.

In essence, the overall philosophy of the show is this: to create a community. A community between the artists that grace the stage. A community of audience members that find kindred souls with similar interests and, most of all an all encompassing community of everyone involved. Of course, I would like to have a larger audience (which is slightly difficult since the shows are held on Wednesdays) and this is not so I can line my own pockets with more money. I want to be able to pay the performers what they are more than worth. I’d like to give bonuses to the waitresses and be able to create props and such for the show itself, to make it better for the audience. I would also like a larger audience because I feel that the performers I have had deserve a larger audience, and one that is there to take in the experience, not to pound back brew with background music. Maybe I’m just too naively idealistic, but all of this has opened my eyes to the creativity that exists in Dayton and I would love to draw all that creative energy into one place… then it will be a Dirty Little Secret no more…

Click for video

Video of the February 16th Show

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Video of the March 16th Show

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Video of the March 23rd Show

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Video of the April 27th Show

Goes To The Edge…And Folds It Neatly (with Tim Bedore)

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Tim Bedore: Standing Up Against The Animal Conspiracy

Comedian Tim Bedore, who hails from Minnesota is a philosopher, a writer, a comedian; He is a man who once had the urge to kiss a wombat full on the lips. He has made numerous television appearances and his Vague But True weekly series can be heard on NPR’s Marketplace weekly program. The last time I spoke to Bedore, it was to gain his wisdom pertaining to his area of expertise: the animal conspiracy theory.

Bedore’s theory is rather alarming in its utter simplicity: Animals hate us and want us dead so that they may rule the Earth and inherent all of the fine Hostess products that will be left in our wake. I decided that the animal conspiracy theory was a great jumping off point for our most recent conversation, so that is where I began…

J.T.: Are we all still in imminent danger from the animals?

Tim: The animal conspiracy thing still looms large, and let me tell you why: Because I love my country. I want Americato continue to be at the top of the economic food chain as well as the literal food chain, so I constantly bear witness and am on the case at all times. At Wiley’s, I’m going to do the animal conspiracy slideshow, of course, and there is a lot of new stuff. I’ve got some amazing video of some elk that have taken over a town to the point where if you want to golf, you pretty much have to golf around the elk and play out of the divots that they make with their horns. They are literally coming into town and chasing after hunters before the hunters get out into the woods to hunt them. I’ve got video of it that’s just incredible.

J.T.: Do you think that the animals are acting independently or might they be lobbied by certain special interest groups and instructed to go after specific targets?

Tim: Boy, that’s an ugly thought! Are you saying that this might be political? Man! So even this is a partisan thing! Anything is possible. Things have changed so much that I expect that, one day, you will see wolves and elk working together to drive keepers and tourists out ofYellowstone. Natural enemies joined together.

J.T.: Are the squirrels still the central part of the conspiracy?

Tim: Oh yes! Squirrels are literally the smartest animal on the planet, other than humans. I mean, they’re rats, but we allow them to live in our cities and we allow them in our yards and people think they’re cute….it’s that damn fuzzy tail. Unbelievable when you think about it. It’s just that fuzzy tail and – bang! – they’re not a rat anymore.

J.T.: Well, since the last time I spoke with you, I started homeschooling my eleven year old son. It makes you yearn for the days when you could hand a kid a sack and send him to a coal mine to earn his keep. I didn’t think teachers made enough money before…

Tim: …and now you’re certain of it. Yeah, that’s a big commitment.

J.T.: Yep. But, I think the problem with the schools now is that all they are concerned about is the State testing and not about cognitive reasoning or problem solving.

Tim: No they don’t.

J.T.: But I think it is becoming apparent because kids are coming out of school and unable to do the jobs because all they know is the answer to question 1-A.

Tim: We had a teacher in college that taught us to think like critical thinkers by saying, “Men do not have to wash their hands after they use a urinal in a public restroom…

J.T.:…but before…

Tim: Right! Wash your hands before! His point was that the penis is the cleanest part of a guy’s body. If you take a ten minute shower, nine minutes is spent cleaning the penis. You get that very, very clean. It’s the hands that are filthy when you think about it. You ride busses with your hands. You touch coins and pick your nose…clean your hands first so you won’t get your penis dirty because it is already clean and, unless you have a spastic fit at the urinal, you don’t have to soap up afterwards. Now, that’s a very interesting way to think, but you can’t make a living with this information, really. I tried. You hang out in bathrooms and try to point this out and…well, the tips were very low.

J.T.: Yeah…well, I don’t know if I would use that phrasing…

Tim: No! “Hey ‘big’ fella! Can I talk to you a second?”

J.T.: So what do you want people to know about you?

Tim: You know what you can tell people? You can tell them that I do not lie on stage. Most comics lie. Most comics make stuff up and I only talk about truthfully honest things because I think that there are too many lies in the world and I really believe that I am going to be the force for truth and honesty. You hear lies all the time and we’ve become just too used to hearing them. How many times have you flown and the pilot gets on the intercom after pulling in three hours late and says, “We apologize for any inconvenience and we really hope to serve you better in the future,” which is just a lie. They know they are not going to serve you better in the future: It’s the nature of their business. If they were honest, they would say, “Yeah, we’re sorry about the inconvenience and all, but hey! This airline sucks, but so does walking fromMinneapolistoDetroitwith a golf bag, so…see you next time!” Like Home Depot…”You can do it, we can help!” That’s a lie. It should be, “You can do it, we can help…but it will look like hell and you’ll probably kill yourself.” That’s the honest way to say it. That’s the truth.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ExpQC6zs9s’]

Turn Of The Fraze

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The History Of A Dream

The Australian Aborigines believe in two interconnected worlds. One is the world in which they live in; a world of the physical. The other is the world of Dreamtime, where their reality is created. In essence, the Dreamtime follows no linear rules of time; all times exists at once and folds in on one another. The Dreamtime is where creation takes place and, when one comes back to reality, the thoughts become a tangible reality. There are rare occasions where everything aligns and certain groups of people gather together, envisioning a concept or a direction and their dreams become a reality. The Fraze Pavilion seems to be one of these places conceived during this Dreamtime.

In October of 1983, a tract of land that abutted the City of Kettering’s governmental buildings was purchased from the heirs of the original landowner, W.D. ‘Doc’ Johnson, for $1.5 million…yet the story goes back much farther back than that.

“Actually, the area had been platted right before the Depression into single family plots, but it had never been developed except maybe one or two parcels.” said Peter Horan, former City of Kettering Planner and Assistant City Manager. He went on to talk about the Johnson property itself. “‘Doc’ Johnson’s place had been quite a controversial property for a while. Right after Kettering was incorporated in the early fifties, ‘Doc’ wanted to build a downtown Kettering there. The City Council back then said, ‘We’re not rezoning it for that. We just approved Town & Country Shopping Center.’ ‘Doc’ was mad about that for years. He kept coming in with proposals to build something on it, but nothing ever worked out. So, when ‘Doc’ died, that’s when the family wanted to do some things with the property and that’s also the same time that the City started putting together a concept plan about a multi-use area that would become Lincoln Park. We took that concept to the neighborhood, the City Planning Commission and the City Council and the concept was very well received.”

Jerry Busch, Mayor of Kettering from 1981 through 1989 echoed Horan’s description, saying, “It pretty much started with a vacant piece of land that we got from ‘Doc’ Johnson and developed it from there. The planning department came up with the sketched plan for Lincoln Park Commons and we came up with it from that basis, the Fraze was brought in about halfway through. Originally, we talked about having a kind of bandstand with some wooden benches…and it grew from there. With the help of Pete Horan, we talked to some of the performing arts people in town and got an idea of what their requirements were.”

The creation of the park, the office park, the residential concept and the Fraze Pavilion itself was a multi-tiered project that seemingly advanced hand in hand, developing and maturing with each additional facet that was added.

“Originally, we did all the park design, and that was before the Pavilion was even in, and then once the park was finished, we began the effort of trying to get the Fraze Pavilion itself built.” James Garges, City of Kettering Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts Director said about the planning process. “So, for a while, almost a year or two years, all you really had there was a grassy knoll in the park and we had a little programming in the park and so forth, but the plan to have an amphitheater was there from the start. When we went into actual park design and that whole hundred acres there became developed. It’s a pretty interesting project from that perspective.”

Many times, we see public facilities in a constant state of construction, wherein the structure is being changed, augmented, repaired or completely redesigned due to lack of planning or poor oversight. With the Lincoln Park project, one gets the sense that there was a fully operational plan in place that took into account the various elements and how they would work together, not only at that moment, but also on into the future.

“When you do it right, everything flows together right. If we tried to take the Fraze and plop it down into the existing park, it wouldn’t be the same facility, so that’s why it flows so well. Again, if you have the foresight to do really good design and planning for a park and you have a good idea of what is going to be in the park in the future, you may not be able to do everything at once, but whatever you do as the first phase just fits right in with the second phase.” Said Garges. “So, the master planning from the park perspective becomes a very, very critical element to the success of everything that will eventually be in the park. The Fraze Pavilion itself was actually the last piece of the park that fit and that last piece of the puzzle fit perfectly. We had a very good team. At that time, it was NBBJ, which was an architectural firm out of Columbus and Al (Alfred E. Berthold) was the lead architect of the project. It was myself, Pete Horan and Al Berthold; we were three of the key folks that worked together on it from a facility/design perspective. Al did a great job, he really did. Joe Roller was another landscape architect that was on board with the Parks and Recreation department and the planning department forKettering. Joe, from an in-house perspective, working with Al Berthold, was also very helpful. So, you see, we had a really nice team of landscape architects, park folk and Pete Horan, who I would call almost like the Minister of Taste. Pete’s good at that stuff!”

Many municipalities have taken on a major undertaking only to have the process drag on, hampered by constant infighting, indecisiveness and a general sense of poor planning. With the whole of the Lincoln Park project, it seemed as if all the key elements worked together in unison to realize a shared vision.

“From my personal point of view, it was a really unique opportunity, and it was a challenge, but it was also extremely gratifying to see it all come together and work.” Said then City Manager Bob Walker, before adding, “Like anything, it was a team effort. A lot of people put in a lot of effort, and it paid off. The whole City Council, if you think about it, it was courageous on their part too. They were all sticking their neck out a little bit, and I’ve always given them tremendous credit, particularly Jerry Busch the Mayor. He just provided that political leadership that’s very necessary to see something like that through. He did an absolutely marvelous job.”

This is not to say that the project itself did not have a few people that were uncertain or unable to make this leap of faith…

“I will never forget…there were a few Council members that were still a little nervous and Jerry Busch had this huge banner in the council chambers that said, ‘If We Build It, They Will Come!’” Pete Horan said before complimenting Busch’s unwavering belief in the project. “Jerry was a driving force, politically and in getting support from the community and the Council. Right after it was built, Dick Hartmann was the Mayor and he was a strong supporter as well.”

The one striking thing that is almost imperceptible to most is the layout of the facility. While other entertainment venues take on a ‘cattle herding’ mentality, trying to get customers in and out of the facility as quickly as possible, the Fraze takes the exact opposite approach, forcing the patrons to meander lazily past beautifully landscaped flower beds, statuaries and ponds. This adds to the relaxed atmosphere of the evening.

“The beauty of the Fraze is actually the beauty of the Fraze, not only with the programming that comes out of the facility, but also the environment in which it’s located.” said Mary Beth Thaman, current City Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts Director. “The grand vision of Fraze was to put the Pavilion in an incredible environment, which is a park and that the way that you access the Pavilion is so pedestrian friendly. The landscaping enhances your experience. I think the beauty of the project, holistically, is really how it is treated and the experience that you have there, even outside of the music.”

It is easy to take for granted the beauty of the Lincoln Park project as a whole when one is focused on the overshadowing prospects of stars and nationally known entertainers. It is just as easy to stop for a moment to take in the subtle grandeur of the grounds. To appreciate the maintained and manicured grounds and flora. To see the still water that reflect the public sculptures. So what is the most important aspect of the project?

“I would say that it is using the park to walk, to sit, to relax, to play your guitar and it’s WiFi, so they can bring their computer if they want. The park has a lot of walkers and a lot of people that use the park as an activity for themselves.” Alluding to the calm before the storm, Thaman went on to say that, “Again, within three hours, it is transformed into a music venue. So, I think that it offers, in terms of an outdoor summer experience, such a variety. It really is a focal point for Kettering because we don’t have a downtown area per se, but it is the place, when you have concerts and festivals, to be and be seen.”

Having travelled down all of the paths, from concept to creation, from landscaping, developing, construction and landscaping, there is still one facet left to be discovered; programming. Without the music and the arts that make the facility such a vibrant destination, it would still be a beautiful facility…but a very empty beautiful facility.

“You know, anytime you tackle something like that, you can do surveys and all kinds of things, and we did some of those, trying to figure out what people would be interested in.” Bob Walker said. “Then, of course, sometimes, it works out a little bit better than what you thought.”

The person who was placed in charge of building the foundation of Fraze eclectic programming was found through a national search for a suitable General Manager. Rudi Schlegel seemed to fit the bill, having worked at Boston’s Great Woods Center for the Performing Arts (now the Tweeter Center). Schlegel’s long list of credentials and longer list of contacts would prove to be a deciding factor in how well the Fraze would succeed. With the building only half completed when he arrived, Schlegel’s work was cut out for him.

“Actually, the initial challenge was the balance of programming, which, at the time, skewed heavily towards community events and Dayton Arts events, which engendered substantial losses.” Schlegel revealed. “That idealism is great for driving a lofty vision, but there was a fundamental disconnect between the scope of the programming and the design of the building and what, in fact, was going to be viable financially. So, that had to be reconciled.”

Another thing that had to be reconciled was the seating capacity of the venue, which had to be increased to handle four thousand patrons in order to accommodate pop acts. Schlegel was able to attract the attention of some of the best popular entertainers, culled from his previously held connections, drawing in such diverse acts as Ray Charles, Gallagher and Yanni, among others. Such success is no accident though and much is owed to the foundation that was created during those early years.

“Opening a venue is comparable to putting a satellite into orbit. You have to have the trajectory right and you have to have the thrust right. To get it into orbit, you really only get one shot.” Schlegel added to the metaphor by saying, “The worst thing that could happen is you don’t hit the trajectory right or you don’t aim high enough.”

In other organizations, associations and venues, when a new director is appointed, they usually set out immediately to eradicate their predecessors work to make their own mark. The Fraze faculty seems to have the wisdom to build upon the strong foundation that was originally built, replacing only those key elements that have become worn or outdated, replacing them with more functionally sturdy materials. This approach has made the Fraze a nationally recognized amphitheater and one that artists and concertgoers alike feel a comfortable relationship with. While there have been changes over the years, the current General Manager, Karen Durham, has been lauded with bringing the Fraze into a new age, creating a season filled with national acts balanced with local artists as well, without sacrificing the traditions that people have come to expect.

“As we saw audiences change, we also tried new things and, over the past ten years, we’ve really clicked on some hot trends, like the five dollar shows, the two dollar shows.” Karen Durham, current General Manager of the Fraze said. “Our festivals have grown and we’ve gotten to the point that we’ve gotten some solid, signature festivals. Swamp Romp, is what Mark (the facility’s second General Manager) started and that kind of laid the groundwork for the blues and the wine and jazz festivals.”

With all the well known acts and beloved artists that have graced the Fraze’s stage, I wondered if Durham had her own personal favorite…a memorable moment…

“Oh! Well, I don’t know why I would have even hesitated. Ringo! Without a doubt! Having a former Beatle on our stage was just…” Karen ended, at a loss for words. She went on by saying, “Having Sheryl Crow record her DVD here is 2003 is another great memory. Whatever happens in the next twenty years, we will always have this moment of time immortalized, recorded with her music.”

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6PLrDXkMAQ’]

Free Bird At The Fraze With Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Rickey Medlocke

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An Interview With Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Rickey Medlocke

“Well every time that I come home nobody wants to let me be
It seems that all the friends I got just got to come interrogate me
Well, I appreciate your feelings and I don’t want to pass you by
But I don’t ask you about your business, don’t ask me about mine”

~Gary Rossington/Ronnie VanZant

Don’t Ask Me No Questions

 

The iconic band that is Lynyrd Skynyrd is at once an ever changing amalgam of talent as well as a indestructible thread holding together the roots of American rock. From their auspicious beginnings, practicing in a carport in the summer of ’64 in Alabama, to their , upcoming performance at the Fraze Pavilion, Lynyrd Skynyrd has remained true to their origins, playing the type of music that has made their name synonymous with ‘Southern rock’. The history of Lynyrd Skynyrd is one of tragedy, turmoil and triumph. Yet, throughout it all, their music plays a testament to the undying appeal of their sound and words.

I was able to speak with Rickey Medlocke who began his career with Lynyrd Skynyrd as a drummer before forming his own iconic Southern rock band, Blackfoot. He has since rejoined Lynyrd Skynyrd, becoming one of the three lead guitarists, which is the linchpin in what has become Skynyrd’s signature sound. Since the last time I had interviewed him in 2007, there have been a few people from Europe that have expressed interest in reprinting my interview and short biographical piece I had done on the band for various fanzines and one hardcover book to be published in Italy. In speaking with these various people, an image emerged of how some other countries and cultures perceived American music and how some of them saw Lynyrd Skynyrd as being distinctly an American sound. I asked Rickey what his view was, having toured extensively through various countries not only with Skynyrd, but with Blackfoot as well.

“Well, you know, what’s interesting is that being with this band for as long as I’ve been in this band…they just love American music, and Skynyrd, being the well-known southern rock band that it is, it’s been pretty well accepted since day one of the band’s inception. They still think of it in terms as Southern rock, or rebel rock, or whatever they want to call it. It’s never changed; it’s always been that way. They love American music over there.” Rickey stated. “I know that touring over there as much as I did back in the late 70s, early 80s, all the way through into the 90s, they’ve just never stopped loving the Southern rock bands or rock bands, period.  It’s kind of a different thing over there than it is here in the fact that when they love you, boy, they never quit loving you.”

In interviewing other bands, I have found that singles and albums are released in other countries long after they are released here in the States, sometimes a decade later. Some bands who have seen their songs chart in the USA are surprised when, years later, their song or album is number one in Holland or some other country. It is also true that songs that never see the light of day in the United States are found to be wildly popular when bands tour overseas.

“Oh absolutely, absolutely! You can go over there and find such a diverse song selection. Of course, they’re going to like Sweet Home Alabama and Free Bird, we all know that…” Rickey said, “…but the deal is, you might go over there and they might like some off the wall song like Cry For The Bad Man or Don’t Ask Me No Questions or whatever, and when you play them they’re just like in awe…they’re thrilled…and they have a very different way and it’s very diverse, without a doubt.”

In dealing with the arena rock supergroups from years past, there are those that want to question their relevance in the world of modern music, flippantly dubbing them as ‘has-beens’. It seems ironic that someone would make these statements when all you have to do is flip on any new rock station and hear the influences from bands of the past carried through the music of the current chart toppers. It is also odd that these groups from the past can still pack a huge arena while many of the newer groups are unable to fill the seats in more modest venues. Why haven’t we seen the stellar songwriting and extravagant performances that was the hallmark of the arena rock era? Is it the groups? Is it the recording industry?

“Well, you gotta look at one thing. You gotta look at bands such as ourselves, The Stones, AC/DC, Aerosmith and all these classic bands who have had songs that stand the test of time. They’ve got songs that’ll be here ‘til the end of the world. Lots of new bands…show me one song out of one of these new bands that is gonna stand the test of time like that. A lot of the songs coming through…they’re gone so quick that you go, ‘Whoa…what the hell was that?’” In reference to the term ‘has-beens,’ Rickey had this to say; “I’ve heard DJ’s say that we were ‘has-beens’ before and I’ve had people say it blatantly, right to my face, but my comeback is ‘Look, if you’re insinuating that we are a ‘has-been’, it’s better to have been a has-been than a never-was.’ With Blackfoot and Skynyrd collectively, I’ve sold somewhere between 45 and 50 million records, so, when I get somebody that says things like that, I just kinda feel a lot of them sometimes have a big giant chip on their shoulder. ‘I’m a frustrated musician that never was and I can’t figure out why the hell I can’t do it!’ Well, there’s gotta be a reason. Either you didn’t write great songs, or you weren’t that talented, or you didn’t persevere and you gave it up …so there’s a lot of reasons for it.”

Rickey then alluded to the fact that it also had a lot to do with the record industry and that there were a lot of talented people out there who are ignored or don’t receive the attention of the record industry.

“Well, you’ve gotta understand, when we decided to do what we did for a living, it was two-fold; Record companies signed bands to create two careers; the record company’s and the band’s. They signed bands to build them up, which in turn built the record company’s career. Nowadays, it’s not about that anymore. First of all, you don’t have near as many record labels as you used to; everything is on the internet. People want self-satisfaction right away. Back when I got signed and the band was formed, we looked forward to a good record company.” In  relating how the industry had changed, Rickey went on to say that, “Now, the only thing that you sell records for anymore is for tickets and merchandising. Really, that’s really true, to be honest with you, because the artists don’t make anything off of record sales anymore, especially publishing. A lot of these young artists are even giving their songs away, and they don’t realize how much they’re hurting themselves, you know what I mean? Like now these young bands will get into it and if they haven’t made it within a year to a year and a half, they’re like, ‘Oh God! I’m giving it up and going into something else!’ and not realizing that, being a band and being together for as long as we have, and a lot of the other classic artists…that’s what it’s all about.”

I wondered if Rickey ever looked back on all the iconic music that Lynyrd Skynyrd produced and sat in amazement, wondering how they had ever conceived such layered orchestration and captured the essence of living on vinyl.

“You gotta realize I was there for some of the stuff because I was one of the original drummers, so I was there and seeing how stuff went down, and it went down so innocently and so pure.” Rickey went on, saying, “We just wrote songs, and had a magic about ourselves. I’m a guitar player and I’ve had a love affair with my instrument ever since day one, and that’s what it’s all about. I didn’t get into this business to become a rock star; it just happened because we had great music, you know what I mean?”

Since they are coming off of a world tour in support of their God And Guns album, I was curious if going from huge arenas and stadiums to a smaller ampitheater like the Fraze would offer Skynyrd fans a more intimate view of the band..and visa versa.

“Well, it will be and it’s kind of a conscious thing by us right now. The band loves to do smaller stuff every once in a while.” Rickey paused before going on. “What it does…it brings you back to the basics, you know what I mean? And, that’s cool…that’s a great thing to do. The Lynyrd Skynrd band, as with a lot of other artists, we don’t mind doing whatever we need to…we just love to play!”

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX3cbFJ3lYU’]

The Ice Of Wrath

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Dear You...Wish You Were Here!

Premise of column…the abridged version: The theory behind this column is that, unlike most advice columns, I will not be dispensing advice. I have more issues than a magazine stand, so I feel that it would be rather disingenuous (as well as mildly dangerous) for me to offer anyone advice. So what I am doing is offering up my problems to you, the constant reader, so that you may share with me, and the world at large, your sage advice and wisdom. Who knows? You may even actually help me with one of my problems or even become the next Dr. Phil, which would entail an outpatient surgical procedure to have you welded to the megalomaniacal monster that is Oprah Winfrey’s ego.

Well, my debut column kind of went astray rather quickly. I began it with all good intentions, but that damned dog was just preying on my mind, so there wasn’t too much in the way of advice that anyone could offer beside “train it,” “give it away” or “play fetch with it on the roof of Kettering Tower.” This column, I assure you, will give you an opportunity to not so much give advice, but lecture me about what kind of horrible person I am.

There is nothing like a good ice storm to bring things into perspective. As evening draws night and I see the steel grey daylight fade from the vines hanging off my office’s window (the vines I meant to remove this past summer before they manage to pull the window out of it’s frame). I ponder the imponderables, such as what color does a Smurf turn if you choke him, how does the guy that runs the snow plow get to work and, while watching back to back reruns of Full House, how did two bug eyed girls, who resembled my vision of what trolls must look like, turn into two skanky globe trotting trollops in such a short time? I never seek the answers to these questions as then they would cease being imponderable and I would have nothing to do while sitting in my house, snowed in.

From Innocent Gremlins To International Slut-Butts

Another thought flits through my head as I sit here with three kids annoying the living crap out of me, the youngest talking while I am trying to write, the middle one going through all the drawers in my office, borrowing whatever his little adolescent fingers fall on…without asking, of course. The third kid isn’t even mine, but one of my older son’s friends. He just stands there laughing like a mook, knowing that his mere presence makes me yearn for a time when adults were allowed to clout a kid upside the head for irritating them. The thought that careens through my cranium is, “How many people who espouse the wonders and sanctity of family have actually been forced into close quarters with them?” I don’t think they ever have. They are too busy making speeches across the country, dictating their familial beliefs to others, then going back to a Holiday Inn, getting room service and then settling down for an evening of in-room porn.

Careful With That Axe Eugene

I believe that most people who are trapped with their family all day turn into Jack Nicolson’s character from the Shining before Oprah even airs in the afternoon. There are only so many times that your better half can pop awake from their almost continuous catnap to berate you for not spending enough time with them (and then dropping back into a blessed catatonia) before your thoughts cast themselves towards the garage, wondering where you put the axe this past fall and was it sharp enough?

I love my family. My kids are the absolute beginning and end for me and I would do anything for them…except watch four hours of mind melting Japanimation cartoons while my eleven year old does color commentary. It’s not that I don’t like spending time with them…but dear God, small doses please! My kids and I have a great time when we are out and about, but that is when I am safe in the knowledge that sometime soon, they will go back to school, allowing me to sit in my office, lulled by the sounds of silence as I look up at pictures of them…pictures that don’t ask questions like, “Can a Jedi lightsaber cut through Superman?”

Do you have a spouse that begs you to stop working and sit down with her to watch some television…and then proceeds to flip back and forth between RuPaul’s Drag Race and Bizarre Foods until you get confused and start wondering which thing fluttering by on the screen would be worse to have in your mouth? She single handedly will turn your television into a RGB colored strobe light if you give her the controller. Either that or you’ll be locked onto the TLC or the Oxygen network watching some graphic retelling of some “based on a true story” made for TV movie that makes you consider how lucky Hellen Keller was.

Perhaps the problem lies with me. I have always been somewhat of a loner and not really able to relate to people, so maybe I should be able to open myself up to the experience of domesticated living. I should embrace the Snuggie and kick back in the Laz-E-Boy, quaffing down a six pack of beer while watching and laughing through the American Idol audition shows…

Who Could Be A Meaner To A Face Like That?

…see? I can’t write more than a sentence on certain subjects without seeming to be a mean spirited, smarmy a-hole. It’s not that I dislike my family. It’s just that I believe there should be a separation, like there is between Creationism and logic. For example, in the short time that I have been writing this, my kids have interrupted me innumerable times and my wife has been in here three times. Once to use my lighter, even though her lighter was concealed in her other hand. The second time was to…I’m not making this up…talk to me about our relationship because she feels that I need to spend more time with her. The third time was so she could have me look up how to make hand made soap which, while an admirable aspiration and hobby, she only seems interested in because I am on the computer. This has been interspersed with random yelling matches between the kids and her and her and the kids, peppered with random observations yelled out to no one in particular.

Now that the ice is melting away, everyone is breathing easier, knowing that, if worse comes to worse, they can run screaming from the house if the youngest child wants to play charades for the millionth time (a game which, after having the instructions told to him a billion times, he still cannot truly grasp) or if their mom wants to go into one of her long winded stories about her youth, stories which a.) have no end or meaning and b.) grow in breadth and depth exponentially with each telling. As I sit here at the computer as my wife begins a tirade about missing hair ties, I wonder if it’s the forced confinement that creates these feelings or if society has played up the importance of “family time” so much so that you feel guilty if all you want to do is have a moment of silence and eschew yet another discussion with your children about how is it possible for a squirrel to live in Bikini Bottom with Spongebob…a discussion that invariably ends with me screaming, “Because it’s f#$%ing cartoon!” and my son throwing something at me and calling me a meaner.

So, I guess what the question is, buried within this convoluted rant, is how do you balance family time and personal time? What is the basis for time spent with the family/children/spouses? Is it based on the factor of quality or quantity?

Dear You – Preamble, Procrastination And A Puppy

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Dear You...Wish You Were Here!

The premise of this column is rather simple: while most advice columns have readers submit their most convoluted personal tragedies, some of which I find to be nothing more than the apocryphal rants of desperate attention-mongers, and then the advice columnist gushes with humanity and proceeds to tell this perfect stranger how to live their life. This column, however, takes a rather dynamic approach to meting out advice which is, simply put, that I don’t. I have more problems before 8:00 am than the average person has in a whole lifetime, so I feel that a.) I am not in the position to give anyone advice, what with the precariously poised position my life teeters on at any given moment and b.) if anyone in this dynamic needs advice, it is me. Ask anyone that has dealt with me for more than five minutes and they will wholeheartedly agree with me…and then I will hate them forever for passing such crass judgments against my character. I mean, who the hell are they to be so judgmental? I’ve only known them for a little more than five minutes!

So, the way this works is, I will write about whatever problem I happen to be dealing with at that moment and you, the reader, will submit their well intentioned, sage like counsel, which I will, in turn, probably argue against, picking apart their suggestion point by point in the next column. While this may seem rather mean spirited and, at the end of the day, rather a huge waste of time for all involved if I am not even going to entertain taking the advice of perfect strangers, but it is the process and not the proffered guidance that helps people. You can read Freud, Nietzsche or Chicken Soup for the Soul until the tattered pages decay into dust and you won’t actually apply any of the answers that you may find there because you have not gone through the process of dealing with the problem. Slapping a bumper sticker philosophy across a problem and repeating it’s poetic phrases like some monosyllabic mantra will only mask the problem, lulling you into a false sense of security. You may feel as if you have conquered a world of pain by singing, Don’t Worry, Be Happy, thinking that it will sink into your subconscious, healing all your wounds, when all it will really do is allow your problem to ferment and foment in the shadows of evasion…and make you want to hitchhike to Hollywood and choke Bobby McFerrin with a bag of Lifesavers. In a nutshell, I guess what I am saying is that, regardless of whether or not I take the advice given, it opens up the process of realization and, by agreeing or arguing a point down, it allows each side to actually examine an issue and not just throw fortune cookie philosophies at it.

Well, I guess with all of the unnecessary preambles and attacks on modern psychobabble out of the way, let’s journey forward together, shall we?

I wondered which of the many issues that act as a roadblock on my synaptic superhighway I should tackle first. Well, since I actually sat down to write this yesterday, my epic weakness for succumbing to procrastination jumped right to the top of the list. Yesterday, I had thought about starting this column as I dropped my children off to school, trying to mold a frame together which later I would hang words and phrases off of. I had an adequate number of cigarettes on hand and a chilled two liter of Mountain Dew at the ready. As I turned on the computer, I remembered that I needed to do laundry, so I got up and grabbed my basket full of dirty clothes and headed for the basement. After almost careening headfirst down the steps because one of my little lethargic offspring had thrown a large, wet beach towel onto the steps. I went back upstairs fuming, entering the guilty child’s room to pee on his pillowcase so that he would reflect on the danger that his slothful deed could have caused. I learned that trick from my cat, who trained me not to accidently lock her in the garage with just two short sessions of this method. After getting the laundry started, I went back upstairs, only to find that my baby-mama’s Pomeranian had pulled out some of the stuffing from one of the couch cushions.

This could actually be a whole separate story in of itself, but since it has reared its furry little head into this story, it must be discussed. I didn’t want a dog in the first place. Dogs, in my opinion, are too needy. You have to work your whole schedule around a dog, making sure that you get home in time before your living room becomes a waste management way station. You have to adjust your leisure time activities to include the dog, which means that you get to watch others have a leisure time activity while you get your shoulder yanked out of socket trying to keep said dog from running in front of an ice cream truck.

This dog…this dog is nothing but a ball of fuzzy destruction. Anything that comes near its sharp toothed Alpo-hole is devoured instantly. It ate my middle son’s Blue Tooth, threw it up, then fought me as I tried to clean it up and he tried to re-eat it. It ate a whole can of my youngest son’s Play-Doh, which, while annoying, at least added a festive décor to the front yard when he pooped out merry little red dog logs just in time for Christmas. It ate a whole four foot length of hemp twine and then whined and cried while we had to pull the rest out of him because it only pooped out a foot and a half. We had brand new carpet laid in the living room just before Christmas and the dog chewed a hole through it. People have told me, ‘You have to train the poor little puppy!’ and then they turn to walk away and trip in the hole that the malevolent little creature dug…through the sidewalk! It dug a hole through a two inch thick brick paver!

It occurs to me in the wee hours of the morning as I hear him gnawing through his water bowl or dry-humping his little bed, that this could possibly be a terrorist tactic, aimed at dismantling the nuclear family, one torn pant leg and chewed shoe at a time. It makes perfect sense that there could be an Al Qaeda AKC splinter cell that is training dogs to masticate the American way of life. When I talk this way, people look at me as if I’m crazy and they look at the dog, which cocks its cute little head like Nipper, the RCA dog. I tell them that if he’s so cute and harmless, they should take him home, but they must subconsciously sense his insufferable evil rolling off his fur and decline in a flurry of excuses. One time at the drive through of the bank, and then I’m the bad guy because I suggested that I could send him through the vacuum tube to her. He’s small! He would have fit!

I’m the one being cruel? I have to be on guard constantly, ever vigilant for the muted chomping sounds coming from under the couch. He got in the habit of spending several hours under the bed, which I thought was fine because I knew where he was and he couldn’t get into too much trouble under there. This was what I thought, until one night at about three or four in the morning, I rolled over and the bed collapsed. The little bastard had chewed straight through the center board supporting the box springs! Our living room looks as if we can’t afford decorations and such because we had to strip it bare so that he couldn’t eat anything. He ate through three electrical cords and somehow did not get electrocuted. He ate through the cable wire. He ate through the X-Box controllers. He has eaten through five collars while I have had him chained up front and then run away…but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t show right back up!

I know I sound exceptionally cruel, but let me assure you that I have never mistreated an animal. I grew up with twenty-one cats, a flock of ducks, a beehive, two dogs and a snapping turtle named Herbie. All of my cats have been strays that I have rescued and they have all lived long, happy lives. I worked with my mom volunteering for several animal rescue groups and humanitarian networks…then the Devil’s dog comes along to test my humanitarian record.

Well, I started this column with all good intentions. I wanted to talk about my rampant ADHD and propensity for procrastination and that damned dog got in the way again! It’s like it’s chewing a hole through my brain, just like the carpet. I guess I’ll write the article about procrastination once I take care of the puppy problem. Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow…or maybe the next day…

Conservatively Comedic

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Mark Klein Is Conservative On Everything But The Funny

Mark Klein - Conservative Comedian

While Mark Klein’s early career careened around the edges of the blue circuit, playing in seedy clubs and even strip joints. Over time, his act evolved and matured as he himself did. His performance reflects who he has become rather than a persona he cultivated over the years on stage. While being touted as a conservative comedian is a rarity, finding someone that is true to themselves on and off the stage is even more extraordinary.

Klein’s career has taken him from the comedy club circuits, to the cruise lines and into the corporate boardrooms, and his blend of political and observational humor has managed to win over audiences, fans and naysayers alike. I was able to speak with him as he was wending his way across the country and, as we spoke, a clearer picture of the man and his comedy shone through.

J.T.: Okay, so you are billed as the most conservative comedian…
Mark: Well, not the most conservative comedian, but I am the only Jewish, Republican, conservative comedian from Louisville, Kentucky in the world. There is only one and I am it. My political viewpoint on stage is definitely conservative and it has a definite point and edge to it. My career is comedy club work, cruise ship work and corporate speaking and I’ve kind of blended all of those into a show that says exactly what I want it to say and it’s become a real passion to get both the message out there and the comedy.

J.T.: Well, a lot of people are afraid to do that. A lot of people are afraid to use the platform that they have.
Mark: I can understand that. The minute you take a political viewpoint, you’re alienating half the people that are listening to you. My idea of a perfect show is when I see someone in the audience that doesn’t agree with me, and they’re laughing. To me, that’s just the greatest show you can have.

J.T.: Yeah, especially within the last decade or so, everyone has become so encamped and entrenched and polarized, people don’t feel they can laugh at truths about themselves even.
Mark: Right, and that is exactly what comedy is not about. Comedy, to me, is about getting people to look at the world and themselves and laugh at it as well as laugh with it. The whole goal of comedy is to find the points that we have in common and how we laugh at the same things together and then you get to use that to examine who you are and what you believe and examine the world around you. It’s a joyous way to make a living because you get to be the vehicle for the audience to be able to do that, so it’s just a great way to make a living.

Well, this doesn’t look conservative at all! No sir, it surely does not!

J.T.: Do you think that having yourself billed as the most conservative comedian kind of limits your audience? Would someone who sees themselves as a liberal enjoy your show just as much?
Mark: Of course, of course. There’s a good part of the show that has nothing to do with being liberal or conservative. A tremendous part of the show is just my world view described in a funny way, so it doesn’t matter who you vote for or what you believe or where you are from, you are going to find these things funny. Even when you disagree with the viewpoint, there are jokes there that are funny. A well written political joke for me is one that makes people on both sides of the aisle laugh and even people that disagree with it will find the humor in it and be able to laugh at it and, in that sense, I try not to use my humor to polarize people, but to unify them.

J.T.: Yeah, and a lot of people don’t do that. People take the opposite tack and ostracize a group.
Mark: There’s nothing insulting or bashing; there’s no ugliness to the show that I do.

J.T.: Well, why do you think that there are so few conservative comedians?
Mark: Well, entertainment, by it’s very nature seems to have more of a liberal following, in both the performers and those that patronize live entertainment and so most comedians are afraid of being ostracized from the comedic community for not being politically correct and, let’s face it, as an entertainer, you depend on the approval of your audience. As a professional entertainer, to get work, you depend on the approval of your peers and the people that book your work and so a lot of these guys are afraid of not having that approval. Well, I’m not afraid of that. I know who I am and what I believe and I know I can make it funny. You have to be true to yourself and my act is very true to who I am and what I believe and if it costs me work, so be it. To not be able to be that person on stage, that would absolutely suck the joy out of what I do for me. It’s important for em to stay true to myself politically onstage.

Mark Klein is set to take the stage at Wiley’s Comedy Niteclub (101 Pine St.) on Thursday, January 20th at 8:00 pm ($5 admission), Friday, January 21st at 9:00pm ($10 admission) and Saturday, January 22nd at 8:00 pm and 10:30 pm ($12 admission). Opening up for Mark Klein will be joined by the always likeable and incredibly funny Dave Zage. To make reservations, just call (937) 224-JOKE and for more information, go online to wileyscomedyclub.com. You can also find them on Facebook at Wiley’s Comedy Niteclub.

The Adventures Of Vaccinium Person From Finland

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Might As Well Rewrite The Title As Well…

            To understand my position on this debate, I must first tell you a story. When my middle son was in 5th grade, he was harassed mercilessly by several black students in his class. Among those, there was one in particular that would constantly bother him, poking him with a pencil in the back, pulling his hair and calling him things like beaner, spic, camel jockey, sand nigger and towel-head. I had spoken with the teacher on many occasions and, while sympathetic, he was overrun by his classroom and, after taking up the matter with the school’s principal at the time, he found that he was alone in dealing with the problem.

One day, I received a call from the school saying that I was to pick up my son from school because he was being suspended for two weeks. Why? Because my son, in retaliation to the constant harassment, both verbal and physical, had finally had enough, turned around and hit the boy and called him a nigger. Oddly enough, the physicality of the altercation was swept aside as a negligible offense, but the racial slur was what was treated as the major transgression. I arrived at the school and met with the principal, who was a demurely petite black woman. She must have had a degree in psychology because the first thing she did was move a table that was in front of me out of the way so, “that there wouldn’t be anything standing between us.” Knowing that my wife was coming up, I thought that this was a foolish idea, as that table would at least buy the principal a few seconds for escape. As it turns out, I was right.

In speaking with the principal before my wife arrived, I brought up the fact that my son had been harassed by several children in the classroom and ran down the list of racial slurs that had been lobbed at him and that I had entreated the school to intercede to no avail. She stated that since he was not of that specific ethnicity, neither Arabic nor Mexican, then the racial slurs did not apply to him. She then made an allusion to the fact that he probably picked up his racism from me, since I was white, which is, in of itself, a prejudicial remark…and an incorrect assumption at that.

            Now, look up at my picture. Now back here. I am a white male. My wife, however, happens to be female (which is a good quality in a mother) and also happens to be black. In all honesty, she’s a Haitian/Cuban/Native American-American, but that just sounds confusing and stupid. So, that being the case, all of our children are multiracial, which makes this incident as interesting as it is convoluted. I brought up to the principal the fact that the school had a zero tolerance policy for racism, yet they had allowed my son to be called all sorts of names of a racist nature. She repeated her stance that since he was not of those ethnic origins, the racist epithets did not apply. So, by this logic, since the children were racist as well as ignorant of someone’s nationality, it made their slurs acceptable. I went on to say that I had heard children in the hallway call each other nigger on innumerable occasions, to which she explained that, in the African-American culture, that was a term of greeting and endearment. Well, what if, for the sake of argument, the black half of my son used the word, trying to be endearing, while the white half was appalled at the racist transaction? Would that make it acceptable? Shortly thereafter, my wife arrived and the whole conversation devolved rather quickly, especially when she called the principal a nigger and all the children involved “little nigglets.” As I predicted, the principal should have kept that table in front of her.

            I bring this up, not as a means to air my disgruntlement with the school system (although there is a cathartic quality to it), but as an example of how complicated the nuances of this argument are. On the one hand, we have black entertainers using the word ad nauseum, especially in rap lyrics, so much so that, if there weren’t so many words that rhymed with “nigger,” the rap genre would have died a quick death shortly after Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five’s first album. Walking along the street or standing in a store, I am constantly accosted by the dreaded “N” word, usually strung together with other expletives, with a complete disregard as to who is within earshot. It’s become a game, much like the one played by woman who wears exceptionally revealing clothes, just daring any male to look at them so they can unleash a hate filled tirade against the “sexist pigs.” It becomes a trap as to who can legitimately use The Word That Shall Remain Nameless, and woe to you if you use it and are not licensed to do so.

As with any other word, it is the intent behind the word and not the word itself that carries the weight. I can watch Richard Pryor’s Live On The Sunset Strip and never have a derogatory thought about the word nigger, even though it’s used roughly a thousand times during the show. If I watch Mississippi Burning and hear some white redneck use the word, you can feel the hatred drip off of each syllable. He could be calling the guy a “maraschino cherry”, and the sense of malice would be the same. By the same token, any word, regardless of how innocuous or funny that it may sound (such as peckerwood, which just cracks me up), should be treated equally as a pejorative term and not be relegated as having a lesser impact. I have seen innumerable black comedians, musicians, actors, etcetera, rail against the racism that blacks must endure, and then launch into bits denigrating other races without any thought of hypocrisy crossing their minds. You cannot claim a specific sensitivity to a word, then be insensitive about the language that flows from your own mouth.

            The argument against removing the word nigger from Mark Twain’s works is simple: don’t. It reflects the mores of that time period, regardless of whether it is right or wrong. It shows how people were viewed and treated, and not just black people, but Native Americans and different classes of people as well. If you green light sanitizing works of literature, how soon will it be before we rewrite The Dairy of Anne Frank to depict the young girl taunting the Nazi’s à la Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone? Using the same logic that NewSouth Publishing Company is using, the book should be changed so that it will make it easier for teachers to discuss the book without having to deal with the horrific nature of the holocaust. We need to change Steinbeck’s Of Mice And Men while we’re at it to depict handicapable people in a better light. Those poems of Paul Laurence Dunbar will have to be rewritten, because some of the dialect smacks of ignorance. After we’re done with that, we’ll be able to tackle that violently racist and sexist book, The Bible…

I am not downplaying the use of the word nigger. In it’s truest form, the word embodies the hatred and detestation of one race for another. It unfairly depicts a whole race of people under an inapplicable blanket definition and, to a large degree, holds them to it against their will. That’s one of the important reasons to keep the word alive in it’s original context in Huckleberry Finn, as a benchmark for what the word applied to a people of a certain era and what the word symbolizes now. A word, however, is a word and, even if you sanitize it and give it a more palatable appearance, unless you are willing to change the behavior that allows this hatred and the insufferable intent behind the word, this cleansing is all for naught. By way of example, George Carlin used to do a bit about the term “shell shocked”, which turned into “battle fatigue” and eventually ended up as “post traumatic stress disorder”. Through all its permutations, the actual devastating trauma and its cause remained the same, but the terms were more pleasant for people to deal with, allowing people to ignore the tragic nature of what the words entailed.

Even though Huckleberry Finn is a work of fiction, it is still a window into a historical era. To shut this window and draw the blinds is the surest way to cloud our vision and allow us to forget things that, while uncomfortable or upsetting, are important to remember so that we do not forget, as a people, where we have come from and the atrocities that we, as a people, have endured. It gives us a point with which we can juxtapose the past with the present so as to give us a clearer line of sight to where we need to be. To tamper with literary works in the name of appeasement or comfort is yet just another form of revisionist history, allowing for a Pollyanna perspective that will surely allow us to forget past transgressions…and eventually to repeat them.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iau-e6HfOg0′]

A Testimony To Our Time Remaining

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The Bengsons Perform The Proof

The Bengsons CD Release Party w/Walk The Moon
Thursday, January 20 · 8:00pm – 11:30pm
Location: Canal Street Tavern
308 East 1st Street
Dayton, OH

Abigail and Shaun Bengson

Shane Anderson, the technical director for the Encore Theater Company called me one late afternoon last October saying that I needed to come down to the Oregon District to check out the Bengsons. He said they were a husband and wife musical duo that were rehearsing their latest project, The Proof. I told him I’d be glad to and then asked him what kind of music they performed. That’s about the point when the conversation fell apart. Shane began by describing elements from the musical Hair, then switched up, describing what they did as “folk opera.” After more adjective searching, vaudeville, cabaret and folksy were tossed out before Shane conceded that it was difficult to describe their music and told me that I should just come down and see them for myself.

A cold Autumn drizzle covered the cobblestone streets in a slick sheen as I made my way over to the building that housed Encore. I entered and was met by Shane who led me upstairs to a rehearsal room where around fifteen or twenty people were scattered about. Abigail Bengson was flanked on her right by singers J.J. Parkey and Shawn Elizabeth Storms. On her left, her husband stood motionless, eagerly tuning his guitar. Behind the singers, musicians Bart Helms and Zach Wright were readying their own instruments. Abigail began the evening by welcoming everyone and thanking them for showing up before she launched into an abridged description of what their latest project entailed.

The premise caught me by surprise by its complexity. This was a story about two lovers who, upon finding out that the husband was suffering from a terminal disease, consciously decided to compress the sixty years or so that they once imagined that they together into a single year, which was what reality and circumstance had afforded to them. As they launched into an condensed version of the whole poetic précis, I felt the same loss of adjectives to describe what I was witnessing that Shane had had earlier.

The music ranged from boisterously defiant anthems to somber melodies, with each singer’s voices fading in and out, making room for a new voice, a new segment of the story. The melodies themselves conveyed a hue of their own, painting a picture of the passage of time as well as capturing moments lost to an impending sadness. Abigail’s resonating voice pitched and dove, holding a balance between incessant denial of the inevitable to the shrill sorrow of acceptance. Her eyes were brilliantly focused, her countenance held in a tightly coiled dramatic smile that communicated that which was left unsung. Her arms flailed, as if conducting an invisible orchestra, or as if she was holding a weaver’s needle, stitching the vignettes of the opera into a full tapestry of song. Shaun Bengson’s vocals were, at times, were a roughly hewn counterpoint, and at others, in a harmonious union with his wife’s voice. Shaun held together the elements of the opera through his musicianship and the acceptance of his character’s fate.

Afterwards, the group collected together, and asked the audience for their input, which most were eager to share. It wasn’t what most would expect, such as incremental advice or suggestions for improvement. The small audience had been personally touched by the message that the shortened opera had expressed and they responded with their own stories of loss or their fear of losing someone that they loved. After more than half an hour of discussion, everyone went their separate ways and I was able to talk to Abigail and Shaun over a beer.

J.T.: With you two being a couple, taking on a subject like this…you have to project and extrapolate that story onto the other person. Does that become bothersome at times?

Shaun: I think that that is where this piece actually came from. When we fell in love, we fell really quick. We were engaged after only like three weeks of dating, it was also at that moment that we also felt our mortality, you know what I mean? Falling in love with someone is also like falling in love with something that is flesh and blood and something that will eventually die. So, that’s where this piece came from It was Abigail’s original idea, like 2½ to 3 years ago and it has taken us this long to do it because it was just too painful to look at. I mean, it’s like a whole evening of looking at one of us dying.

Abigail: A lot of our work has been kind of political and things that we do and our passionate about, but they are pretty outside of ourselves, so this is the first piece where every song we were writing was about this. Everything that we were fucking doing was about this. We were trying to ignore it. We said the opera was about something else for a long time until, finally, we looked at each other and said, ‘You know what this is about, don’t you? Let’s just get to writing the opera that’s writing itself. The one that’s actually happening.’ Because it’s coming from a really pure place, it’s absolute gratitude and absolute terror, and that’s what it’s about.

J.T.: I can see one other correlation between the opera and where you would almost go through the stages of death with this because you went through the denial, you went through the anger and then you accepted your fate. There are also correlations with birth as well.

Abigail: (laughing) That’s exactly right! There is even the rebirth of becoming a married person.

Shaun: I was thinking that, even in mundane ways, there was a real ‘testing period’ once we were engaged because we got engaged so quickly that, whether our friends got it or not, or whether we would shut them out or let them in, our life looked incredibly different a year after we got engaged than it did a year before. Everything was different, from the people we were around to the things that we were doing…it really was a kind of death and rebirth.

Abigail: We changed everything.

J.T.: But then you start looking at the moments again, and those are the most painful. I mean, like you two together, doing this opera and revisiting your own mortality so often, how many walks do you have together? How many romantic baths do you have together? Would you take for granted the small things after facing the inevitable with this opera?

Abigail: For me, it was falling in love that…it’s so fucking cheesy, but it’s true…that made me, and not always in a comfortable way, but sometimes in a desperate way, want to have those moments and know I was having them. I didn’t just want to take a bath…I wanted to take the bath and it was happening in the moment.

J.T.: Putting too many expectations on something tends to overshadow the moment. Things like that have to be organic or else they become eclipsed by expectations.

Abigail: Right! But that is exactly what the opera is about! I guess it’s more about consciously enjoying each other as much as we can, not taking things for granted and living every moment that we’re living.

Shaun: We just read East Of Eden for the first time and we had never read Steinbeck before. There’s this character, Adam, and he has a whole decade of his life that is lost to the Army which was filled with lots and lots of boredom and, suddenly, ten years had passed. The quote in the book is something like, ‘Time passes without notice without any posts to hang the hat of memory upon.’ That has been another point that we keep coming back to, a point of real inspiration for this, finding these posts to hang the hat of memory upon, so instead of ten years going by in a flash, it’s like one year that feels like ten years.

J.T.: Well, of course, this project has had to draw you two together on some level…

Shaun: It’s so much ‘our life’ that it’s hard to pick apart the pieces…

Abigail: No kidding!

Shaun: I just think it’s amazing that I get to do this with the woman that I love. There is also the point that the simple act of creation can be really hard because we both really, really care about it, so sometimes we’ll be writing something and we’ll find ourselves avoiding each other or fighting and we wonder what the cause is, then we realize it is the writing, that it has become so emotional to create something that it bleeds into our lives.

Abigail: What we are creating with is the stuff of emotions.

Shaun: Sometimes we’ll get really emotional about something and misconstrue that, like, ‘Oh no! She’s upset with me!’ or ‘I’ve upset her,’ but it’s just dealing with the emotions of creation.

J.T.: That goes in line with another question that I have. Both of you are very emotive and very fervent about what you do. Do the lines ever blur between what the project is and what real life is, because you may become so wrapped within the role…

Abigail: Gosh, you know, right now…if we never sang another song, we would still be in love. I feel that it is my job to help Shaun to be himself in the world and visa versa. It’s something that we try to build together and a huge part of who we both are is this work, so building it together is an extension of who we are. It’s not that we’re literally going through what this character is going through, but, at the same time, I do feel really connected.

Shaun: We do believe that while theater isn’t therapy, but when we are doing the characters and the situations obviously came from things in our real lives and what we are going through, but when we’re doing it, we are trying to draw inspiration from the emotion that it arouses and use it to access it.

Abigail: That is probably why, this time, we are inviting other people into the process much earlier than we have before…

Shaun: Because it could get really inward looking and neurotic.

Abigail: We’re also super-perfectionists and we usually don’t show people anything until it’s done. Part of inviting people the process so early with this piece is, by its own nature, an insular work.

Shaun: I think the one thing that you point to that is a real danger is the danger of it becoming ‘precious,’ like our pretty little gem that we try to keep to ourselves.

Abigail: And that’s why we have to keep bringing it out so that we remember that it is something to give away.

J.T.: Well, theater isn’t therapy, but it is a realization. There are subconscious things that you are going to stumble across that may surprise you emotionally. What is something that you would want someone to take away from this?

Shaun: Wow, that’s a good question…the thing about our shows in general, and I know it sounds all hokey and hippie, but the most important thing to us is the creation of a loving space. The only thing that would make us feel badly about our shows is if we walked away feeling ‘slick,’ like we pulled something over the audiences eyes, so the core of what we do is to try and make everything an open, loving space and draw all that energy into it. In terms of this specific show…

Abigail: I think that that still stands. I mean, I have my big britches about what they’re going to take away (laughing)…

Shaun: (laughing) I guess I don’t know what I want them to take away from this…

J.T.: That’s the most honest answer I’ve ever gotten to that question! Well, what are other people’s impression of the show?

Shaun: A lot of the people that we have told the story of the show to, or have played some of the music for, have immediately had personal anecdotes that they have related to it. Whether it was having someone die or having a loved one go through some sort of illness. That part has been somewhat gratifying and serendipitous so far.

Abigail: Even tonight, during the feedback afterwards, I feel that people are reaching into their own lives and were are really lucky for the generosity of their stories. I think that is what this is all about really. It’s finding someone who is your anchor in this life that raises the stakes. You take care of yourself better for the other person because you have a responsibility to that other person to be here as long as you can.

Brilliance On The Edge Of Night

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The Passing Of A Community’s Icon

A seven year old boy sits rapt, wrapped in a heavy quilt in a darkened room, the only light coming from the television, which created sporadic flashes of light and shadow against the living room walls. Vincent Price, Peter Lorre and Boris Karloff are on the screen, emoting Roger Corman’s interpretation of the Raven. In between scenes of decrepit castle chambers and crypts of the unquiet dead, commercials for King Kwik and other local retailers burst forth in chromatically bright colors in stark contrast to the desaturated dimness of the movie. 

After the vendors are done hawking their wares, a familiar black and white face appears, a gentle smile plastered across his grease painted visage. Dr. Creep launches into a faux interview or an outlandish skit that, by the grace of it’s own unpolished design, seemed funnier. Whether it was spoofing the movie that was playing or reviewing the disco moves of John Revolting, Dr. Creep, in his signature black top hat and cape, would reassure you that this was all make believe, that nothing could hurt you and that the world of horror was a landscape to be explored and not abhorred. 

The nephew of Doug Hobart, a makeup artist and stuntman who had a traveling monster show back in the 1940’s and 50’s called Dr. Traboh’s House of Horrors, Barry Hobart was almost predestined to become Dr. Creep. Hobart was a master control engineer for WKEF-Channel 22 when, in 1971, he suggested a late night hosted horror show to salvage lagging ratings in the late night time slot. After submitting a tape of Dr. Death, the project was well received, yet remained shelved until the following year. On January 1st, 1972, Dr. Death made his television debut on Shock Theatre. Several shows into the series, the woman in charge of makeup got rid of the vampire teeth and changed Hobart’s costume. A name was drawn out of a hat and Dr. Creep was born. 

The comedic aspect of the show was an accident. Props failed, lines were forgotten and effects either didn’t work or went on far longer than intended…which cracked the Creeper up. The whole crew decided to go with the natural flow of things and an organically kitschy comedy of errors ensued from 1972 until 1985. Throughout those years, from being a child all the way into my adult years, I would run into Dr. Creep at various events or in the most unexpected places. I remember going with my mom to the Dairy Queen on Airway Rd. to an autograph signing attended by Dr. Creep, Wolfman Jack and someone who I believe was Elvira, although it could have been one of the other incredibly seductive vampires roaming the countryside at the time. I was at the drive-in on Halloween when they buried Dr. Creep alive as part of a benefit. There was a dusk to dawn showing of B-rated horror films with periodic updates broadcasted by Dr. Creep from beyond the grave. Years later, I was talking to Philip Chakeres, owner of Chakeres’ Theaters, and we got onto the subject of that particular event… 

“You were talking about Dr. Creep earlier. Well Steve, the guy who runs the drive-in there, he can tell you better… he said that one time, this drive-in actually buried Dr. Creep.” Chakeres went on to talk about what those kind of evenings entailed. “I mean, there were all sorts of things done. We used to do that stuff and we would give away Dracula Cocktail, which was just Cream Soda, and then when the movie was over, during the dusk to dawn shows, we’d give out coffee and donuts at dawn. There were some times when we ran dusk to dawn shows where the sun would start rising and the credits were still on the screen. Those were the good old days…” 

The “good old days” also included a lot of local programming, creating local icons that attained their own, more homespun, brand of celebrity. The King Kwik “Brothers” (Mike Tangi), Steve Kirk, Bob Shreve, Ruth Lyons, Bob Braun, Don Wayne, Uncle Al…the list goes on. At the top of that list sat Dr. Creep. With his kind heart and his patented ‘hoo-ha-ha’ laugh, Dr. Creep was probably the most recognizable local television personality in the Tri-sate area. Black grease painted eyes and white face tended to make you stand out in a crowd…and driving around in a hearse would make an impression as well. He also used his celebrity wisely by offering his services for a slew of charities, such as the Muscular Dystrophy Association, Project Smiles as well as a host of many other, smaller, fundraising events. In interviewing John Higgins, a puppeteer who worked on Shock Theater, Hobart’s generous heart was one of the first subjects he brought up. 

“Those years working with Creep on Shock Theatre and Saturday Night Dead were some of the most fun of my working years.  Having fun and making a difference in people’s lives were key values he lived by…and we all shared.  It was always amazing to see how much everyone loved him, particularly the kids.” Higgins went on to reflect on the oddity of the children’s reaction to the Creeper. “The kids absolutely loved Dr. Creep, someone they, by all rights should have been afraid of, with that white face and black eyes…they must have sensed his very kind heart.” 

Dr. Creep and Obieyoyo

On the topic of benefits, John went on to reflect that, “Barry was always soliciting me as puppeteer and director of Night Vision Puppets to do freebie benefits with him for people in need in the community. I’d get Obieyoyo and other characters and appear with Creep and musician friend Garry Pritchett, who appeared a few times on Shock Theatre as the four armed bongo-playing hipster, Octo Rhebop. It was always fun, always for a good cause, and usually never involved any kind of income. That was Barry. He loved helping people, he loved getting friends to help out…and he was fun to work with.” 

Dow Thomas, a comedian and writer for Shock Theatre which, by that time, had become Saturday Night Dead,  had some insight into Hobart’s unerring compassion… 

“The best thing I remember about Barry is that he was always kind. He was a good, I mean serious Christian. He went to church all the time and really cared about people. He did all these benefits and expected nothing in return. Some of them would be long and grueling and he would be hot in that costume, but he would talk to everybody and sign autographs.” Dow added, “He was sincere about it and he has really touched a lot of people’s lives. I think it broke his heart when he lost the show.” 

Even though the films that were shown were creepy and campy, like Curse of Frankenstein or Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the movies actually became a secondary feature to the show. Everyone tuned in to see what kind of Gong Show antics Dr. Creep and the crew would brew up this week. From regular characters like Obieyoyo, Duffy the Dog and Freddie Forefinger and His Phalangic Friends to skits featuring Lester Fern’s Disco Dance Studio or the Flamboyant Frankenstein, viewers were always given some of the most deranged and off the wall comedy available on television. 

Dr. Creep And Vampire Friend

“One of the things we did was, I decided to have them tell me what movie they were going to show, and I would write a skit about it. Like, we showed The Valley of the Gwangi, which is about a bunch of cowboys ropin’ and ridin’ dinosaurs and Gwangi is the Tyrannosaurus Rex.” Dow Thomas related. “There’s an old man in it who plays the professor (Laurence Naismith), so I put on my old man mask and a pith helmet and played him, and I’d say things like, ‘I think I have recording of old dinosaur sounds’ and I’d start playing a woman singing and everyone would go, ‘Those aren’t dinosaur sounds! Those are Dinah Shore sounds!’” 

Dow’s recollection of this particular episode brought up one of the other key players in the calamitous comedy of Shock Theatre, John Riggi. Riggi has since gone on to write for such comedies as The Dennis Miller Show, The Dana Carvey Show and, most recently, 30 Rock. 

“I don’t know if you remember, but the first thing they find in The Valley of the Gwangi is a little horse…eohippus I think is what the professor says it is…it’s a prehistoric animal. Well, they put it into their rodeo act and everyone would come to see this little tiny horse…it’s a weird film. So, they would go from the movie to us doing all of this stupid stuff and it all matched.” Dow went on, saying, “There’s one point where one of the Mexicans in the movie says, ‘Hey gringo! I want my little horse back!’ John Riggi played one of the Mexicans in a skit and I had a big sombrero that Wiley (original owner of Wiley’s Comedy Niteclub) had given me and we put it on John’s head, and then we cut to Riggi in this sombrero saying, ‘I want my little horsey back!’ Dr. Creep finally goes, ‘Okay.’ So here’s Dr. Creep on all fours and John Riggi riding on his back around the studio. I mean, just think about what a good sport Dr. Creep was to get down on all fours and have John Riggi ride on his back like he was a horse.” 

There were countless times when the powers that be and the rag tag members of the Shock Theatre brigade locked horns. Sometimes it was a disagreement about a skit’s content, like an incident where they wanted to show a headless Duffy the Dog on an operating table with four sets of feet, one set which would be where his head should have been. Other times it had nothing to do with the crazy house that the show had become, per se, but more to do with the types of personalities that ran the asylum… 

“I remember John Riggi and I getting yelled at because we changed the weather map one time. We got up there and started putting a bunch of tornados around Xenia…they were just little magnetized things back in those days.” To sum up the tensions, Dow simply said, “We were hippies in a studio that had rules.” 

John Higgins, who acted as producer of Shock Theatre as well as its puppeteer, filled in some of the blanks as far as Hobart’s other duties at the station. 

“I love how his friends and colleagues at work almost always called him ‘Creep’…whether Barry was in costume or not.  Anyway, Creep was the person who usually taught the new people how to operate the on-air master control. He was patient, calm, and quite adept at this nerve-racking task…and a great teacher.” Higgins went on to remember an amusing incident. “I remember sitting with him in training early one Sunday morning.  We were running the Jimmy Swaggart religious show, a program Swaggart paid the station to put on the air. Creep  looked at the clock, then said ‘Okay, the tears start in 3 minutes.’  Sure enough, at exactly 22 minutes after the hour, Jimmy Swaggart started crying, asking for contributions from the audience.  Apparently it happened each program at exactly the same time; Creep knew the on-air job so well he could have run the station on-air with his eyes closed.” 

Trilogy of Terror

Over the years, I have run into Barry Hobart in different locations. Sometimes he was in Dr. Creep’s full regalia, other times he was just simply Barry. I never expected him to remember from one meeting to the next, as each one was separated by a chasm of years. We spoke of different things at each meeting, but an underlying sense of connectivity to the community seemed to prevail over each conversation. In recent years, I had heard and read about his failing health and difficulty in keeping up with his related health care bills. The last time I saw him, he was attending a benefit in his honor at Wiley’s Comedy Niteclub. This was one of several benefits held to aid Barry Hobart with his mounting health care bills. Everybody was more than willing to help someone out in their time of need, especially someone who had given so much over the years, even if it was just a moment of laughter, fending off, for a moment, the darkness of this scary movie that we find ourselves extras in. 

That is probably the most important thing that Dr. Creep gave to the community: an alternative to fear. While some may have jumped and cowered with a throw pillow clenched to their face when the voodoo doll came to life in Trilogy of Terror and began chasing Karen Black down the hallway with a knife, soon there would be a respite from the nameless dread, a halo of hilarity to make us feel safe, to make us feel not alone. Barry Hobart was not only an integral part of our community, he created an alternative community populated by people from all walks of life who shared in his skewed embrace of horror shows and campy comedy. 

On the afternoon of Friday, January 14th, 2011, Barry Hobart passed away in a hospice facility. I had just logged onto my computer when I received the phone call telling me of his passing. After I hung up, I held my thoughts in a moment of silence and as I looked upwards, my eyes fell on a photograph of myself and Dr. Creep that was taken at the Wiley’s benefit, which sits upon the top of the armoire that houses my computer. As I looked at it, I became aware of all the other trinkets and other knick-knacks that have collected up there over the years. Books of photographs. A riot helmet from one of my old security jobs. An ashtray full of cigar tubes and bands, the cigars long gone, smoked with some of my closest friends and family. It struck me that all the other items represented momentary epochs in my life. Periods of the past that I have collected totems of so as to remember them clearly. While this may seem silly, the picture of Barry Hobart represents the constants in my life, from the present all the way back to when I was a seven year old boy sitting rapt, wrapped in a heavy quilt in a darkened room…learning a lesson that the darkness can be fended off by the light of one’s compassion. 

Dance It Out

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Hip-Hop Dance Fitness Class For Youth

There are many problems facing today’s youth, not the least of which childhood obesity as well as being in the viselike grip of an apathetic technology. It is not enough to buy your children yet another diversion from the real world, such a Wii Fit, or to try and interest them in an activity that holds little charm against the instant gratification of a computer screen and a bag of Doritos. There has to be something that will not only hold a short attention span, but is uniquely positive, not only to build a physically fit body, but also to build a sense of confidence and character as well.

While you cannot deny the physicality of hip-hop dance, most people would not consider it a exercise regime, but when put all your preconceived notions aside, what better vehicle could you think of to get your kids off the couch and moving? Such a class has been created by Geborah Stephen for the City of Dayton Recreation and Youth Services. She has designed a program that not only teaches teens between the ages of thirteen and eighteen the fundamentals of hip-hop (which incorporates a lot of elements from jazz, step and even ballet.), but also subtly guides the youth into having more self confidence to raise their self esteem. Having dealt with dance/fitness instructor Geborah Stephen before, I can personally vouch for her talent, her determination as well as her positive spirit. We were able to have a lengthly discussion about the class and what she hopes the teens will take from the experience.

J.T.: What kind of things does the class encompass?
Geborah: The Hip-Hop Dance Class entails movements that range from jazz and into some more modern dance movements, like pop and locking, but on a little more faster pace.

J.T.: What do you hope that the kids will get out of this?
Geborah: I am hoping that with the experience that I have, I can naturally encourage and empower the youth that attend and I hope that they can walk away with a better grasp of hip-hop, range of motion and general dance movements.  I want them to have a better outlook as far as their self esteem and a pride in their inner talents.

J.T.: Do you think that this could lead them to pursue other forms of dance?
Geborah: Yes, absolutely! Hip-hop stems from jazz and modern movements and even some ballet movements. I think that this would be a really nice transition to other classes and types of dance. You don’t even necessarily need to be a dancer. You can use dance as a way of expression using it during your own free time or as a fitness tool. You don’t have to use what you learn to become some type of entertainer. So, yes, it could take several different avenues, but all of them are positive paths.

J.T.: With the issue of childhood obesity being in the forefront of news reports, would this type of activity help them get moving and active?
Geborah: Absolutely! I think that hip-hop is an excellent way to get youth involved in fitness. I think that it is something that they can relate to and so I think that it is an easier way to get them active. It’s a very enjoyable form of exercise and kids love to jump around and express themselves through dance. With a lot of the youth having issue with their weight and trying to stay healthy, I think that my class will be a good tool to possibly get them on track and keep them on track.

J.T.: Well, it’s has real world applications whereas there are not too many instances where you can break out an exercise ball outside of the gym. Do you think that it will get the kids out there for more social interactions instead of in front of the television or the computer?
Geborah: Hopefully, but kids today are really into technology, so I’m hoping that it might spark an interest in getting up and moving more, but I think that technology will always hold sway, unfortunately. Hip-hop dance is evolving and it’s definitely becoming a bit more mainstream and I think it is a very good tool, especially for. I just think it is going to be a really good thing all the way around for the youth in Dayton to get involved in the hip-hop classes.

J.T.: If these premier classes go well, what could you see this thing branching into?
Geborah: Well, hopefully my class takes off in the community. I definitely see myself in the future running my own program that will involve hip-hop dance as well as some jazz movement in an atmosphere where youth can build their self esteem and character through dance and also incorporating some life skills and different things like that. I do have my own ultimate vision for a major project in the future, and I do want to produce and promote more projects like this.

The classes begin on January 5th, but you can sign up anytime as it is a ten week course running every Wednesday and Friday until March 11th. The cost is $25 for Dayton residents and $35 for non-residents and the price includes classes plus a recital and a final showcase at the end of the program. For more information or to find out the times for sign ups, call (937) 333-8336. The classes will be held at the Dayton Bomberger Teen Center located at 1306 E. Fifth St.

Impressed

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Press Coffee Bar To Hold Premier Art Opening

Black as the Devil, Hot as Hell,
Pure as an Angel, Sweet as Love.
~Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord

There are things that are serendipitous. There are things that smack of predestination. Then there are things that are just pretty damn creepy. I’m not sure which category this story falls under.

Artwork by Josh Flohre

Artwork by Josh Florhe

To introduce this story, I have to backtrack to October of last year when I received a call from my friend, Emanuel, telling me that I had to get down to the old home décor place at the corner of Wayne Ave. and E. Third St. and check out this gallery showing. I made it down there as soon as I could and…no Emanuel…but his phone call had led me to some of the most original artwork I had seen in quite some time. It was a mélange of media ranging from the contrasting screen print designs by Jannell Barker to the found art of Josh Florhe which held the moment of another age within its imagery.

I toured the gallery showing, tellingly titled Shut Up Art, and was amazed at the innate talent that the artists imbued. I began speaking with Janell about various topics, such as , how the exhibition came to be, bartending and even meandering over some of the technical aspects of silk-screening. Before leaving, I promised Janell that I would contact her (as well as some of the other featured artists) soon and we would get something down in print for the group. It was a promise that I fully intended to keep…right up until the moment that life got in my way.

It’s one of those things where unforeseen circumstances throw walls up in front of you and then, the momentum of the moment is lost until, one day, you are paging through one of your notebooks and you see a phone number and a pang of guilt forces you to close the book quickly.

Photo by Brooke Medlin

Fast forward to last week…Wednesday December 29th to be precise. I was to meet DMM’s Brooke Medlin at a new coffee house called Press Coffee Bar to cover an art exhibition that they were planning. As I ducked inside the building, escaping from the gloomy day above, I was taken in by the warmth of the newly laid wooden floor and the expansive invitation of the room itself. I saw Brooke and another woman crouched in the loft at the rear of the building, which looked out over the whole storefront. I said hello to the bearded gentleman behind the counter and waited for Brooke to come downstairs and fill me in on the details. As I waited, I took in the freshness of the interior. New floors. A newly constructed and conformingly curved coffee bar whose coiled shape and muted tone was a wild variation from the gleaming utilitarian sharpness of the state of the art cappuccino machine. A bearded man behind the counter (who has a name which happens to be Brett Barker) informed me that the machine was made in Florence, Italy and was temperature controlled by a PID computer module that collected data from various sensors and made self correcting adjustments and that it had been used as a demo model at a Seattle coffee festival before arriving in Dayton.

Hearing Brooke and the other woman descending the stairs, I turned around to see…Janell Barker. Dammit, dammit, dammit! I could just hear the snarky remarks that may have been running through her head, remarks that she never said (but justifiably could have!) such as, ‘Do you think you could get this article done in time?’ or saying something to Brooke like, ‘This is the best you could do?’ or even, ‘You’re never going to amount to anything, so you might as well get used to digging ditches!’…sorry, that last one was me channeling my sophomore guidance counselor.

Photo by Brooke Medlin

Apparently harboring no ill will, Janell began preparing a freshly ground cup of coffee for me, which made me groan inwardly, knowing that in moments, I would have to admit that I couldn’t stand the taste of coffee. Telling someone something that will disappoint them after you have already disappointed them is hard. Telling someone something that will disappoint them after you have already disappointed them as they approach you with a scalding hot cup of coffee is just plain scary. I began to quickly understand Al Green’s aversion to grits.

After I made my embarrassing admission, Brett began talking about the types of coffee they would be using, the type of rotating and artisan roasters they would be utilizing and then onto one of Press’ previous events, which was a coffee tasting experience that they call ‘Coffee Cupping.’ These things I will save for a future article, such as the circular pouring of water through a Hario V60 single cup coffee filter to make a perfect cup of java or how one should, “slurp” vigorously when tasting a new coffee to completely saturate the tongue all at once. These things will come later. The thing to concentrate on now is their Premier Opening Art Show.

As Brett and Janell detailed the type of art and the artists that would be showcased, I looked around the vaulted room, taking in the rough edges of the remodeling that had yet to be polished, looking upwards at the newly painted, bare walls, knowing that soon, a clamorous collection of artwork would peer down at the patrons of this little coffee shop, inspiring them with a thirst larger than the one to be quenched by any fancy French pressed brew. The artwork is what motivates us, that brings us together, that allows us to appreciate and accept without the burden of being deigned acceptable by others. The artwork is there as a vehicle for our muse to move us forward. The coffee is there to make us savor the moment.

This is a coffee shop that aspires to be more than just a retail establishment. They want to be part of the community and this art show is the first step in that direction. The Premier Opening Art Show will be held on Friday, January 7th from 4pm until 12pm at Press, located at 257 Wayne Ave. The show will feature artwork by Rueben Briggs, Eric Patton, Josh Florhe, Kasey Henneman, Jason Watkins, Jeff Richards, Mike Guidone, Jason Goad and Zach Armstrong. Regular store hours will be Monday through Friday from 7am until 8pm and Saturday and Sunday from 9am until 8pm.

Dow-Town Dayton

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Dow Thomas And The Cult Of Comedy

Part horror show hippy, part amusing musician, part imaginative genius. Dow Thomas is truly one of the Dayton originals, having performed comedy locally before there was even a venue dedicated to the genre. He has stepped so far outside of the box, finding himself still in the forefront of comedic inspiration, twisting the mundane into a bizarrely fascinating funhouse that moves so quickly, it’s hard for the average person to keep up. From playing Led Zeppelin’s Whole Lotta Love on the banjo to a stirring rendition of Sailcats, which prompts a Rocky Horror-esque melee of paper plate flinging, Dow Thomas is one of the most original and entertaining comedians around.

I was recently able to talk to Dow from his Florida home as he readied himself for his trek North to Dayton. I asked him to describe his unique brand of humor…because I sure as hell couldn’t.

“What I do is I write stupid songs…a lot of stupid songs…and that makes stupid routines that you’re not going to hear them from anybody else because they’re mine.” Dow went on to describe his dedication to creeping his material fresh, “If you write new routines and jokes all the time, they are going to be thirty seconds at the most. You can’t get up there and be Bill Cosby anymore. People have short attention spans, so what I do is write a strings of songs or jokes.”

In the late seventies, Dow showed up on a local television show that aired at various times on Channel 22 which was then titled Saturday Night Dead, a play on words to contrast the show’s spot directly following Saturday Night Live. It featured B-rated horror films and boasted one of the most good-humored hosts by the name of Barry Hobart who played the part of Dr. Creep. Dow, along with his girlfriend at the time, Astrid Socrates, played an original song titled The Ballad of Dr. Creep, which signaled one of the funniest collaborations, along with a host of other comedians, a puppeteer, John Riggi (who went on to write for 30 Rock) and a flamingly gay Frankenstein. Dow has never given up his penchant for the peculiar, having appeared in several movies, most within the genre of the B-rated horror flick. Dow spoke briefly about his most recent foray into film.

“It’s called The Psycho Dish. The director actually has gotten me in a part of another film he’s getting the rights to which is a Civil War movie. They want me to play a legless, one armed guy in a wheelchair. It’s called Bats Out Of Hell. I’ve got a couple of irons in the fire with the acting thing, but they’re all going to be independent films, and you never know where that’s going to go.” In relating what type of roles he has played in the past, a common theme begins to emerge. “I played the Devil in a movie and I played…it’s always like I’m playing some grave robber or something like that. People actually call me up and say, ‘Somebody said that you be great at playing the creepy old man downstairs.’ For me, it just keeps your chops up when you try to do everything.”

Our conversation meandered on for over an hour. Dow related stories about the roots of Dayton’s comedy scene which, at that time, was virtually nonexistent, at least from our modern perspective.

“I didn’t originally come from Dayton. I just kind of adopted the city in 1971. I moved to the area to go to Wright State and I just stayed and I ended up living in downtown Dayton. I started my shows at the Upper Krust on North Main Street for ten dollars a day.” Dow went on reminiscing, saying, “I liked being up on North Main because I liked to go to shows and Gilly’s used to be up on North Main. There was also The Tropics and Suttmiller’s, which was fun for me to go see supper club type comedians like Jerry Van Dyke or Pete Barbutti and those kind of guys.”

In the seventies, comedy was not the mainstream draw that it would soon become in the eighties, so Dow would camouflage his true comedic intentions under the cover of his music. He would get hired in as a musician and then add in little comedy bits here and there until they became his entire set. Back in those days, a set might be five hours, not the tight twenty or the solid hour that has become an industry standard. Dow found himself at many local bars, like The Bar, Clancy’s and the Iron Boar, which was to become legendary Wiley’s Comedy Niteclub.

“We used to do a Gong Show at the Iron Boar and it was fun because we’d have some guy come up and go, ‘I’m going to do my imitation of a lobster’ and we’d go, ‘Good!’ So he’d put claws on and hop around like a freak…it was just so stupid! I used to do a thing called Punt The Fish and I’d yell out, ‘It’s time to…’ the audience would scream, ‘Punt the Fish!’ I had this rubber fish and audience members would come up and kick this fish and we’d measure it off with toilet paper and the one who kicked it the farthest won.” Dow went on to tell about, “One night, I had this woman up on stage and she kicked the fish and it went into the propeller of the ceiling fan and came back and smacked me in the face. Everybody was just laughing and I stood up and screamed, ‘Disqualified!’ It was all just so stupid, but you’ll never be able to have a moment like that ever again.”

Hearing the stories about the way things used to be, it made the current state of comedy seem somewhat stale and staid. It just seemd like there used to be so much more than the emcee, the feature act, the headliner and then, “Thanks a lot! Don’t forget to tip the wait staff!”

“Right!”Dow agreed, before going into another story about the way things were. “There were these guys, Rich Purpura, who was a comedy/magician, and Tim Walko, a guitarist, and they were both from Chicago. We’d do a show, just packing the place, but at the end, we’d just get up there and jam and kept the show going and clown around with each other. By then, we were just trying to make each other laugh, and that’s what the audience liked. It was kind of like. It was kind of like having the Rat Pack or something. It was that kind of feel, where everybody’s in the groove.”

In speaking about the origins of Wiley’s, I asked Dow how he came to have such a following there (that is still quite fervent even to this day), but also how he came to meet the current owner of Wiley’s, comedian Rob Haney.

“Rob came up to me one time and said, ‘Can I get up and do some time? I just got back from The Comedy Store.’ He had just done some showcasing there…which surprised me because Rob was a bouncer in a bar I used to work at…”

I was quick to learn that almost every story that Dow told led into another story, with sequels and prequels thrown in just to keep things interesting. Backtracking, I finally found out about the first time he had met Rob Haney.

“When I first met him, he was a doorman at a place called The Bar in West Carrollton. It was a rough little joint that ended up being Omar’s for a while and then Fricker’s. It was an old basement bar and the family that owned it was pretty rugged. I actually had guns pulled on me in that bar. It was rough and there were a lot of biker guys in there, but I was playing in there for a while.” Dow said, before getting back on tack. “Rob and I started talking at the bar and then, all of a sudden, he realized that when he was at Wright State he had seen me in a theater production and we talked about that for a while. Anyway, at that time, Rob had like shoulder length hair, so it was a different Rob Haney that came up to me some time later with short hair and asked if he could do like a twenty minute set. I said, ‘Sure!’ I let him up onstage at the Trolley Stop…”

And the rest, as they say, is history. Dow appears at Wiley’s two times a year, bringing with him his bag of masks, his banjo, a balanced mix of new material and old favorites. If you have never seen Dow onstage, do yourself a favor and check him out this week at Wiley’s. He will be appearing Thursday, December 16th at 8:00 pm, Friday December 17th at 9:00 pm, Saturday December 18th at 8:00 pm and 10:30 pm and Sunday December 19th at 8:00 pm. Tickets range from $5 to $12. For more information or to make reservations, call (937) 224-JOKE or go online to www.wileyscomedyclub.com.

The Theater Of The Strange

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Comedian Dow Thomas Reminisces About The Dayton Comedy Scene

12/15/10

            It’s very rare for someone to be able to meet any of the people that were instrumental in warping the needle on their moral compass. For example, in the future, the odds are astronomically against my kids ever meeting up with Snooki, the creator of Grand Theft Auto or any or the Real Housewives of Poughkeepsie. I, however, was able to talk with one of the people who were instrumental in changing my vision and giving me the ability to see the world through laughing eyes: Dow Thomas. Dow is a musician, comedian and actor, who was, at one time, a script writer and musician for the notoriously wonderful local program shown on channel 22 and hosted by Dr. Creep called Shock Theater…a show that I was an avid fan of when I was a kid.

I was able to speak with Dow recently from his Floridahome. The first question I asked was whether or not Shock Theater was his introduction into the world of comedy.

“No. I was actually doing comedy in 1972, but at that time there weren’t any comedy clubs, so I was just doing comedy along with my music. I got with Dr. Creep in the late seventies when it was called Saturday Night Dead because they had him on after Saturday Night Live, so it was kind of a neat spot.” Dow reflected on the first time he was on Dr. Creep’s show, saying, “I wrote The Ballad of Dr. Creep and went on there with my girlfriend at the time, Astrid Socrates. I remember some of the early stuff. It was juvenile jokes and stuff, but that was what they (the television station) wanted because they wanted everything clean, stupid and quick.”

If there were no comedy clubs, what venues did he perform in? Dow told me that he would just play in the local bars, places like the Trolley Stop, The Bar and The Iron Boar.

“I would get hired as a musician/entertainer and just add in the comedy in between songs. I would always put on masks and stuff…I just can’t help myself from clowning around. I’d have the gig and eventually I had bands, but when I clowned around, everyone clowned around with me. What was always part of the show was me being stupid.” Dow said. “Sailcats was one of the early comedy songs I wrote which got people to throwing plates at me and that just started it all. We used to sing The Wonderful World of Toilet Paper and we used to TP all the clubs like Clancy’s and the old Wiley’s, which was The Iron Boar originally. But comedy was always a thing with me.”

Since this was predating the eighties comedy boom, I wondered how the comedy scene evolved inDayton. After talking with Dow over an hour, I got a sense of how paradoxically brutal and liberating the process was.

“I was doing The Iron Boar only on Sundays and Wiley had hired me to do it by myself and so I basically got rid of the band…but I still had jam sessions. I was primarily a single act and that’s when I went almost strictly comedy. Back then, I had to do five hours, like from nine to two in the morning, so you had to have a lot of material.” Dow added a couple of memories from the early days ofDaytoncomedy, saying, “We had a comedy night on Tuesdays…and people still bitched about the dollar door charge! It was just crazy. I remember D.L. Stewart came in and did a little bit one night and then wrote an article about the experience.”

Since he had seen the whole evolution of the comedy scene, I wondered whether he felt that it had become too rigid, too structured.

“Yeah…yeah I do. Back then I could have Emo Philips come in and do twenty minutes and then I’d get a chance to go to the bathroom. Then maybe Judy Tenuta would come in and do twenty to thirty minutes…and then I’d get a chance to go to the bathroom.” Dow related that, “For me, I thought it should go on all night because I had been out to the Comedy Store and all of these places. I mean, I had moved out toL.A.in 1983 and I spent a couple of years out there going to different clubs. Back then, nobody closed their bar after the show. A lot of times, we’d all be up doing improv.”

Dow was not a native resident of Dayton, having moved here to attend Wright State, but he quickly adopted the city as his own. He became a habitué of the Arcade, the local bars and the dinner clubs ofDayton. I asked when he had moved from Dayton to his current residence inFlorida.

“Uh…let’s see (yelling to his wife)…Kay! When did we move down here? What year was that? 1997.” Dow the related a funny anecdote. “After we moved, aDaytonnewspaper im

 

mediately voted me the funniest man inDayton…then they did it again the next year. They voted me the funniest man inDaytonfor two straight years and I wasn’t even living there!”

The paper in question used to be called The Dayton Voice…then Impact Weekly…and now it is known as the Dayton City Paper. Maybe we were just still pretending that our Uncle Dow hadn’t left our fair city.

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