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Chain Reaction

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The social life of a dining etiquette professional is a lonely one.  And let me tell you why.

It doesn’t matter what the event, the minute someone finds out a person trains dining tutorials they say, “Oh, no, and she’s sitting with us!?” As if the Grim Reaper were sitting down next to them, or, another classic, “Do you have to sit here?”

Unless I am teaching a dining tutorial, I am officially off the clock.  That means that I do not have a ruler taped to my side, ready to pull out to smack someone’s hand for picking up the wrong fork.  I promise!  Here are just a few of the great questions that I get when I train Dine Like A Diplomat.

 

What if I don’t like what I am served?  Do I have to eat it?

  • The answer is:  Remember when your mother told you to never play with your food?  Well, forget all that.  You are now allowed to play with your food!  If there is something on your plate that you do not like, move it around. If someone else has been kind enough to cook this wonderful meal for you, or is treating you to this wonderful meal, then by all means move it around on the plate.  Unless you are allergic, please try it.  You never know–you just might like it.

 

What if they are serving wine and I don’t drink?

  • The answer is: If you do not drink, just place your hand over the glass when the wine is being served to you.  The server will know to pass you by.

 

I always hear you aren’t supposed to toast with water.

  • The answer is: You can absolutely toast with water. Many people do not drink, especially if it is a business luncheon or dinner.  The days of the two-martini lunch are long gone.  I don’t know how those Mad Men got any work done in the afternoon.

 

What if I drop my fork or knife on the floor?

  • The answer is: Leave it where it is.  In better restaurants, the wait staff will pick it up. Quietly ask your server or wait staff for another utensil.

 

How do I know when it is okay to start eating?

  • The answer is: If there is a host at your table, please wait for the host to drink before you drink and wait for them to eat before you start eating.  If there is not a host, then wait for everyone at the table to be served and then you may start.  If you are sitting at a very large rectangular table at a large event, please wait for approximately 6 – 8 people to be served around you before eating.

 

What if a man wants to seat a woman in a business setting?

  • The answer is: A woman never expects a man to seat her. She seats herself.  However, if a man offers, she should accept with a gracious “thank you.”

 

What do I do with the napkin if I leave the table?

  • The answer is: The napkin goes in your seat when leaving for a moment.  If the meal is finished, it goes to the left of your plate.

 

Is there a right and wrong way to sit at the table?

  • And the answer is:  Yes! You enter the chair on your right side, and exit the same way.  Sit with both feet flat on the floor with good posture.

 

Two bonus tips:

  • If you need to go to the restroom, please, don’t tell everyone at the table!  No one wants to know what you are about to do.  That is the one time that you do not
    need to explain anything.  Just quietly say excuse me, get up, leaving your napkin in the chair, signaling that you are returning, then leave.
  • If someone has taken your fork, or your bread plate as their own, do not correct them!  Simply ask the wait staff to bring you a new
    one.

Example:  I was attending a business lunch.  It was round table-seating with 10 at each table, so you can imagine that the place settings were very close together.  I reach for my fork to eat my salad.  It is gone!  I look confused, yet ask the wait staff for another fork. Meanwhile, the person to the left of me is giving me the eyeball signal to her left.  I couldn’t figure this out.  Now it’s time for me to have some of that wonderful bread on my bread plate that, I know, I had because I put the bread on it myself.  I go to reach for my bread and it is gone!  The person to my left, again, gives me the eyeball signal to the person to her left.  Oh, yes, she had been taking all of my silverware and my bread plate.  Not because she didn’t know better, but because the person to her left had done the same to her.  We, in the dining etiquette world, call this the Chain Reaction. 

So, to wrap this up, don’t let a Chain Reaction happen at your table.  And, please, sit next to me –I don’t bite!!!  Bon Appétit.

Enjoy this hilarious video clip.  As shown, you should always wait for the host to start dining.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8ysuIOfTM4&feature=youtu.be’]

 

DFW’s Casting Call for Children: Cute and Adorable Kids Are Welcomed…No “Stage Moms” or “Talent Scouts” Allowed!

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This will probably be one of my bluntest blogs ever so lets get straight to the point–I hate the shows Toddlers & Tiaras, Dance Moms, and every other show that has to do with talentless parents forcing their children to live out their failed dreams on national television. With that being said–on March 10, 2012 Dayton Fashion Week will be hosting a casting call for children ages 4-14 at De’lish Café located at 139 N. Main St. in Downtown Dayton from 10a-1p. We are asking that participants bring at least one can good or non-perishable food item with them to the Casting Call for the Dayton Food Pantry—this is not required to be seen but it will be highly appreciated.

When we first thought about adding a children’s runway show to Dayton Fashion Week both Junda Morris-Kennedy(the CEO of DFW) and I cringed at the notion of having to deal with the parents—so much so that we actually decided against the show at one point and opted to do a Hair Show instead. But then we were introduced to Dayton based designer Cheree Cantrell and her kids clothing line Cupcake Couture which made me want to run out and have a baby so that they could wear her clothes! Long story short we decided against doing the Hair Show and on Thursday July 26, 2012 Dayton Fashion Week will present a Kids Fashion Collection Show featuring designs by Cupcake Couture and AM Victorious! Here are a few tips on how to prepare for this casting call.

Act Your Age

This is a kids casting call, I want to see kids acting like kids, dressing like kids, and looking like kids in there photos. Again the photos DO NOT need to be professional we will need a clear head shot and a body shot in their everyday clothes. This is open to children ages 4-14 the only requirement is if your child shows up with false eyelashes, “flippers” or false teeth, spray tans, more makeup than Tammy Faye Baker, hair bigger than Dolly Pardon’s, pant to their ankles like Lil Wayne,and dressed like Beyoncé—your child WILL NOT be allowed to participate in our casting call.

During this casting call not only will the kids be in the spotlight but we will also be watching the parents as well—Parents if you come in with a bad attitude–your child WILL NOT be allowed to participate in our casting call because we will be working closer with the parents then we will be with the children and we don’t have time to deal with problematic parents—so in the words of Prince– parents “act your age not your shoe size”. We want this to be a fun and playful environment both during the casting call and the actual runway production.

Safety First

All participants must have this signed release form http://​library.constantcontact.com/​download/get/file/​1101602765664-514/​DFW+model_agreement.pdf.(Please Disregard the height and all black attire requirement we did not have time to update this form from our adult casting call). All participants for the kids casting call MUST BE ACOMPANIED BY A PARENT OR A LEGAL GUARDIAN THAT IS AT LEAST 18 YEARS OF AGE! There will be NO exceptions made to this rule. This is not us trying to be mean or single anyone out THIS IS A SAFETY ISSUE!

Another safety issue that I must address is this—During our first casting call for adult models. We had several “scouts” for other “agencies” show up to our casting call unannounced and uninvited to do some recruiting. Not only does this show a lack of professionalism on their part by piggy backing off of our event but it also poses as a safety risk for participants. So to avoid this from happening again during this casting call we are not allowing spectators in the building—ONLY PARENTS/LEGAL GUARDIANS AND THE PARTICIPATING CHILD WILL BE ALLOWED IN THE BUILDING—no aunts, cousins, neighbors, and etc will be allowed. Parents if anyone approaches you outside of the building about signing up your child to an agency or gives you a card for you to call them about some great opportunity for your child to model please report this to us immediately. Last year I took my little sister Portia to the America’s Next Top Model Casting Call at The Greene and there was an Escort Service handing out cards to participants. Let’s face it there are some sick people in the world and We CAN NOT guarantee anything to you about these “scouts” but I will ask you to ask yourself this question. If this person is representing a reputable agency why do they need to lurk outside of another casting call to find talent? If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to email us at info@daytonfashionweek.com.

Modeling…To Pay or Not to Pay–That is the Question

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Ok I’m going to start this blog off with a long sigh—Inhale (hold it) now exhale! I‘ve been getting asked this question a lot lately and there is no easy answer and it’s probably the most confusing topic to discuss when it comes to the modeling and fashion industries and that question is—should a person have to pay to be a model? As mentioned in my previous blogs, I signed my first modeling contract at the age of 12 and I attended Bette Massie Modeling School in Centerville. Many people will say that modeling schools are a scam and you don’t need to attend them to break into the industry and for the most part that’s a true statement. However, I come short of calling modeling schools a complete scam because in my case, my mother sent me to modeling school to build self-confidence and it just happened to start my modeling career. Are there modeling schools out there that prey on the dreams of wanna be models who are out to make a quick buck? Absolutely and this is where I tell everyone to exercise extreme caution.

For instance, there is a “modeling agency” out of Cincinnati that sets up shop in the Dayton Mall and they “scout” mall shoppers as they walk by their booth. Well, last year my 12 year old niece AjA was “scouted” by this “agency”, and my sister(who wasn’t familiar with the industry) asked me to accompany them to an open house, before we went I had my sister to call the “agency” and ask if this was a modeling school or if there were any fees associated with being affiliated with them. They swore up and down that it wasn’t a school and it was free. So off we go to Cincinnati, we walk in and there are about 50 people sitting a room, the music is pumping, they have photos of models all over the place, then the president or owner of the “agency” comes in and gives this great speech about the agency and the work that their models have done. They then had all of the would-be models come up and walk in front of everyone and I’m thinking ok so far so good this just might be legit. They open the floor up for questions and my sister once again ask if there is a cost associated with being represented by the “agency” and once again they said no. Long story short we eventually had the opportunity to speak one on one with the “agent” in a private office. He went on and on about how beautiful and smart my niece was and how much potential she had and etc. He even tried to butter me up asking me if I had ever modeled before, I lied and said no, not wanting him to know that I knew how the industry works—then he dropped the bomb on us–he told us in order for my niece to be represented by them she would have to take a 6 month course on modeling (of course taught by them), the total cost of the class was something like $4,000 and my sister would have to come up with $1,500 in less than a week to hold my nieces spot in the class and the remaining balance would be due within 30-60 days or something crazy like that.

He then went on to tell us that after my niece completed the course she would have to be evaluated by the staff to see if she was good enough to signed to their “agency”. At this point I became highly agitated and questioned the “agent” on why they lied to us about everything. I then went on to tell him about my modeling experience and showed him a few of my pictures that I had saved on my phone from a recent photo shoot. I then asked him if I would have to take this course with my experience—I caught him completely off guard and he started to fumble over his words, and frantically look through papers sitting on his desk before telling me that he would have to check with the President of the “agency”. He made a quick call to the President of the “agency” to let them know about me and he then asked for my contact information and told me that the President would give me a call in a couple of days—Needless to say I never got that call.

Point #1 Survival of The Fittest– Don’t Become The Prey

This “agency” preys on those who don’t know anything about the industry—SO DO YOUR RESEARCH—Google is a very powerful tool and so is the Better Business Bureau. This “agency” only stays legal because they have been able to get a few models some paying jobs and they don’t make guarantees—which is all that is required by the state of Ohio to remain legit.
The Modeling Convention

From the age of 13 to 18 I didn’t do any modeling, over the years like most teenage girls, I started becoming fascinated with clothes and followed the industry and read every fashion magazine that I could get my hands on. I started working at General Motors right after I graduated from high school; we were allowed to bring in radios to listen too while we worked and that’s when I heard about an open call for Manhattan Model Search–Reminder, at this time the internet wasn’t as “worldwide” as it is today so I had no clue what to expect or how it all worked. I was 18, had braces and I attended their open call. They wowed everyone with an opening presentation (no mention of money), then they did one on one evaluations, they announced their call backs and I was selected for a call back. They give us all of this information about all of the top agencies that would be in attendance during a weekend convention that was to be held at a hotel in Columbus the hotel was about $109/night and the cost of the convention was something like $495. Long story short I paid the fee to attend, the weekend consisted of seminars and parties, all ending with the final event when you got to walk the runway and show your pictures to the scouts from some of the worlds most respected agencies. Truth be told, I had a blast, and that’s where I was scouted by Click Modeling Agency. They were recruiting for both their New York and Atlanta offices, they wanted me for their Atlanta office, however because I still had braces and I hadn’t done any modeling since I was 12 they wanted to sign me to development contract–which pretty much meant that they weren’t going to send me out to meet any clients just yet because I still had braces and they weren’t coming off any time soon. So they set me up with a few area photographers so that I could get more experience in front of the camera.

Point #2 The Middle Man isn’t Always a Bad Thing

In this case the middle man was legit–again do your research there are a lot of Model Searches in business from Manhattan Model Search, to New York Model Management, to Pro Scouts. I will caution you about this—a lot of these Scouting companies are also linked together they branch off or change names once they’ve receive negative feedback with the Better Business Bureau. There are some scouting companies that offer you these week long cruises and seminars that cost thousands of dollars I would advise against shelling out this kind of money for any scouting event, it would be cheaper to travel to the cities where the top agencies are located and attend one of their open calls for models. I will add that agencies benefit financially from these events because the scouting companies pay them to attend.

Small Market Agencies and Events

I was signed to Taxi Model Management in Cleveland, Ohio when I was about 22. Cleveland is a very small market which means they aren’t going to have these multi-million dollar contracts to keep them operational. There was no fee to be signed with the agency but if you didn’t have an updated portfolio it was your responsibility to pay for new photos, your comp cards and they had a group of photographers that they used. As standard with most agencies (yes even the larger and more respected agencies in the world) it’s in the contracts that you pay the agency 20% of any paid assignments that you land. Also, don’t be shocked if you are asked to become a member of the Screen Actors Guild or any other Actors Unions because the majority of commercials shot in Ohio are union members only so there is a monthly fee that you will be required to pay.

Point #3 The Fashion Industry Is a Business

You can say what you want about it but the fashion industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and people are in it to make money. Nothing is free!! If you get signed to Ford Models in New York, they will put you up in what’s called a “models apartment” where you will live with other models signed to the agency. They will pay the rent and buy your food, pay for some pictures but guess what as soon as you get work as a model not only do you have to pay them back for the apartment, food, a photos but you have to pay your 20% to them as well. There’s no getting around it. Contestants on American Idol have to reimburse them for their stay in the mansion, they have to pay their own way to Hollywood and it’s the same for America’s Next Top Model.

Final Thoughts

I know that you are probably even more confused about this question than before I started answering it. I CAN NOT emphasize enough how important it is that you do your research before shelling out any money. The Tale-Tell sign for most scams is if they push things on you and demand an answer right then and there or if they ask for an obscene amount of money in a very short time frame. There’s a new trend of model websites where you pay a monthly fee for them to host your online portfolio for agencies and other industry professionals to view. There are legit magazines that travel the country looking for new talent; they often have a registration fee that ranges anywhere from $10 on up to be published or to be in a contest. Ask them what the fees are for and what all it covers for example does it cover getting you hair and makeup done? Will it cover your photos? Will you receive copies of your work and proper credit? These are the questions that you need to get into the habit of asking and as always trust your gut instinct it never fails.

The power of social media

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By now, most of the general pubic has jumped onto the social media train. You have a Facebook account. You follow people on Twitter. You make connections on LinkedIn. You watch videos on YouTube. So on and so forth. How many times while using these social networks have you ever thought you would get something out of it? Probably it that much, am I right?

What most people don’t realize is that socially connected brands want you to talk to them. They want you to tell the work about your likes and dislikes. Research shows that 85% of marketers believe that consumer insight is a top reason to be socially active. Businesses both large and small are monitoring their industries and brand to find their brand advocates (both positive and negative). By using the feedback they receive in social media, they are able to make improvements to their business and learn how to crisis manage in a faster timeframe. They can also use the information to solicit their fans to help create buzz around product launches and other events.

How do I get noticed by these companies? Start talking about them! For me, it’s easiest to do @mention shout outs and use hash tags on Twitter. See my two examples below:

Facebook is a little more difficult to get the attention of a company when you just post a status message. To really get the attention, comment on the fan page or checkin through Facebook Places. One local place that does this well is Junebug’s Cupcakes. I recently posted a brief review of some cupcake bakeries in Dayton and my sister shared my blog post on their wall. My blog post probably sent a good amount of traffic over to their website and by sharing, we let them know that we like their food. In return, I get some referrals back from fans on their page and an increased chance that next time I visit their bakery, they might recognize me which may result in some fantastic cupcake deals.

The important thing to remember is not every company will respond to your shout outs – and that’s okay. I would never encourage anyone to start talking about certain brands just because they give freebies. I would encourage others to talk about or endorse certain brands because of their responses on social media. I think that shows that a company understands its audience and really listens to them. It allows customer service to be at a whole new personal level. And in the end – isn’t that what we all really want – to be known as a face with a name and not just a number?

 

On Becoming a Bad Ass

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Kristen Wicker and Amelia Robinson spar at Drake's Downtown Gym to prepare for Dayton Knockout.

Kristen Wicker and Amelia Robinson spar at Drake's Downtown Gym to prepare for Dayton Knockout. PHOTO COURTESY OF TOM GREENE.

“Girl, the jig is up,” my best friend is telling me on the phone as I’m freaking out about my recent discovery that I am not, after all, a born fighter. “Your shit is totally exposed.”

She’s right, and I know it. I rappelled off a 27-story office tower. In the bazaars of Cairo, Egypt, I’ve nonchalantly weaved through cow carcasses hanging from their hooves and dripping blood. I’ve chased a group of punk kids in my former inner city hood. I have a bunch of big tattoos and own three genuine leather jackets. I’ve hiked through the Grand Canyon on trails forged by mountain goats and swam with sharks and barracuda in the Red Sea. (OK, I admit that last one was by accident, but it still didn’t faze me.) I will walk right up to a sketchy-looking somebody hanging out downtown and tell him to move it right along.

But my bad ass credentials have never before been tested as they have in the past three months as I’ve trained to box some of my best friends as part of Dayton Knockout.

I signed up for this charity boxing event ― which will be held this Saturday, Feb. 25, at Memorial Hall ― to be part of something super cool, help a good cause, get in shape and maybe lose a few pounds. I’d been boxing at Drake’s Downtown Gym for nearly two years, and I’ve yet to encounter a workout that makes me feel like more of a bad ass than giving a punching bag a hefty one-two.

Immediately, it was on. My girlfriend and I started trash talking. And texting. And posting.

I hope your bucket list is wheelchair accessible.

They’re gonna find your torso in a corn maze.

I hope you enjoyed your smoothie because after I knock all your teeth out, you’ll only be able to digest soft foods.

I’m gonna snack on your kidney on a stick.

I hope you liked wearing head gear because soon it will be a permanent fashion accessory for you.

I hear they make software now that can help you re-learn how to walk.

Halfway through our training, I missed nearly two weeks of practice after some complications from what was supposed to be minor surgery. She sent me flowers ― a beautiful bouquet of roses, actually ― with a card reading, “Sickness will not protect you.”

Then we sparred for the first time. And she rattled my teeth as if they were shells in a wind chime.

Which took the muscle right out of my trash talking. Truth is, I’m not a bad ass. I’m just really good at pretending.

I even had my friend fooled.

“What do you mean, you’ve never fought before? I thought you said you were some kind of crazy, black-haired punk rocker in high school!”

“Those Barbies wouldn’t fight me,” I explained. “Their Aqua Net puff bangs would have gotten flattened.”

“Didn’t you fight your sister?” She was incredulous at this point.

“My sister is eight years younger than me. The worst thing I ever did was put peas in her peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

***

Monster Truck Rally at Hara Arena.

Monster Truck Rally at Hara Arena. Bad ass grade: D

I did try to up my bad ass quotient after my first Saturday-practice skull crushing. I figured it would help me find my inner fighter.

A friend and I went to a monster truck rally at Hara Arena. I imagined it just like in the commercials: big ass trucks crushing cars and motor bikes daredeviling over piles of dirt. Whoopee! We picked out the perfect outfits, complete with cowboy boots and denim and plaid flannel and bandanas. I insisted we arrive early to have a cocktail at the Hara Pub and spotted an extra five bucks for VIP tickets so we could gain access to a pre-party and obtain a complimentary skull and crossbones flag.

Commercials can be misleading.

“We don’t open the bar for family events,” the woman scanning our tickets tartly replied at my dismay that the pub was closed. The VIP tickets must have stood for Very Ignorant Person, because everyone seemed to be enjoying the “perks” of said tickets. The skull and crossbones flags appeared to have come from one of those little plastic cups in a pizza parlor vending machine. The cars were already crushed, and there wasn’t a speck of dirt (unless you count the grime coating all that is Hara Arena). Some of the drivers couldn’t even get their trucks to spin in the donut competition. Some dude in an ostrich costume as raggedy as an old shag carpet came out and did a 10-minute skit that nearly made us peel our eyeballs out of our skulls.

The best part of the night was when a kid in the row behind us recognized Hell’s Bells two gongs into the song. “Your mother would be so proud,” sighed the woman with him.

We left at intermission. I think my bad-assery actually dropped in value that night.

Rock Star Wrestling

Rock Star Wrestling in Dayton. Bad ass grade: A

Then I took the grand opening of Rock Star Wrestling on East Third Street for a spin. Now, this was some bad ass I could get behind ― men in singlets and Captain America-esque costumes jumping on the ropes around the ring and tossing each other like salad. Hell, YES, that’s what I’m talking about! Complete with kids heckling the wrestlers from the front row!

I definitely ingested a nice womp of bad ass that night. Problem was, I drowned it in beer and Long Island Iced Teas and was left with only blurry pictures on my phone.

***

I have been humiliated by the realization I’m lacking in the bona fide bad ass department before.

The first time I went to a Gem City Roller Girls bout, I was convinced it should be me out there zipping around on skates, hunched into the breeze created by my own speed, elbowing and snarling and falling-but-getting-right-back-up. Oh, the girl power! The striped socks and black skirts and skulls! The clever yet sinister names!

Then I went to Skateworld of Vandalia with my rock star girlfriend. She’s trotted the globe playing searing guitar with bands and always has been much cooler than I am. It was the same in the skating rink.

Gem City Roller Girls. Bad ass grade: A+

Gem City Roller Girls. Bad ass grade: A+

My feet had not known a pair of roller skates since Members Only jackets were in style, you did the Hokey Pokey and Space Invaders was the game to beat. I decided I should warm up with a spin in the kids’ practice area.

At first, I figured the floor was warped in weird ways that were preventing me from getting my Pac Man Fever back. Then, I decided I was just too tired and sloppy from an exhausting week. Next, I concluded that I was just being sensible, as the place was jam-packed with little kids’ birthday parties. If a big girl like me fell on one of these 3-year-olds, that youngster could be smushed like a cupcake. Why risk it?

Finally, my friend ― skating backward and doing spins ― convinced me to make my way to the big kids rink. By then, I was too paranoid to let go of the side railing. As I clunked and slithered my way around the ring as if I were walking on an oil spill, I felt a poke in the small of my back.

I turned to find a little girl, probably five years old, her hair in pig tails. “Excuse me, miss,” she asked in her pip-squeak voice. “Can you move? You’re blocking my way.”

“No,” I said, the word falling from my mouth like a brick. I grabbed her hand and ― still desperately clutching the railing ― swung her around me.

I then proceeded to get the hell out of the rink and take off those damned skates as fast as I could. On our way out, my friend handed me a brochure about skating lessons. I shoved it in the bottom of my purse.

***

Twisted Wicker in the blue corner psyching herself up to bust some jaw.

Twisted Wicker in the blue corner psyching herself up to bust some jaw. PHOTO COURTESY OF TOM GREENE.

I haven’t given up on becoming a boxer as I did with becoming a Gem City Roller Derby Girl. I have been practicing my jab to the point where my knuckles are bruised. I’ve watched Rocky I, II and III, along with YouTube videos of real-life boxers, to observe in-the-ring moves. I’ve been listening incessantly to “We Are the Champions,” “Eye of the Tiger” and the song I chose to play as I make my way to the stage at Memorial Hall, “Mama Said Knock You Out.”

And I’ve been spending a lot of time envisioning myself as a fighter. Faking it. Which I know I can do. After all, these days, when I tell people I’m clinically shy (I am! Like turning a bowling ball in your stomach to talk to a stranger kind of shy!), they don’t believe me. They are totally faked out.

I realize now that becoming a bad ass is like aging: It’s less about the number of times you’ve toasted your birthday or the number of years you’ve been giddy about the arrival of spring. It’s just a a thought you create and control in the mechanics of your brain.

At least, that’s what I’m telling myself as I walk into that ring. I may be wearing a costume of sorts, but it’s genuine boxing garb, the same the pros wear. And I will be feeling like a genuine boxer ― and bad ass.

JAB!

Dayton Knockout benefits AIDS Resource Center Ohio and Dayton History. The event takes place at 8 p.m. this Saturday, Feb. 25, at Memorial Hall. Doors open at 7 p.m. Buy advance tickets online or at Drake’s Downtown Gym, Ghostlight Coffee, Lucky’s Taproom & Eatery, Brixx Ice Co., Square One Salon, and the Dublin Pub. Food and drinks will be available, and an after party featuring live music by Funky G and the Groove Machine will be held in the Memorial Hall basement after the fights.

Click here to read J.T. Ryder’s article on the history of boxing in Dayton. Click here to listen to a radio story Amelia Robinson and I produced about the fight.

Remember me?

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Okay, how many of you have been here?  You’re at a business event and someone is coming over to talk to you.  This is a person you have met not once, but at least twice, and should know their name.  You lean over to your colleague and say “What is the name of the woman in the blue jacket approachingus” hoping they will save the day, only to hear your colleague say “I can’t remember.”  Now, you panic!

Or, you’re in a restaurant, and a person that you used to know 15 years ago from the Ice Age, approaches you.
They look at you and just start talking.
No, they don’t say “hello, I’m Jane Doe.
We used to do advertising together.”
What they DO is say “You don’t remember me, do you?”  You nervously fumble and then the hot flashes immediately take over.  You can feel your face getting red.  To make it worse, they
say very slowly and condescendingly “J…a…n…e…?” and stare at you,
waiting for you to remember the name.   Then they finish it off with “D…o…e…”

 

If you’re wondering if the Jane Doe story is real, it is!

 

Here are a few Remembering names and protocol tips:

 

  • Never be a Jane Doe.  If someone doesn’t remember your name, come to their rescue immediately. Extend your hand, smile and say your name.
    Never say “You don’t remember my name, do you?”
  • If you can’t remember someone’s name, put him or her at ease rather than focusing on your
    own embarrassment.  Shake their hand, smile and say your name.  The other person will then say his or her name.
  • Use the person’s name in conversation.  Use it often.  Repetition builds memory.  “So, Terry, how long have you been in your current position?  It was nice to meet you, Terry.  Hope to see you again soon.”  Also, people like to hear their name.  It puts a personal touch on your
    conversation.
  • Use a personal connection.  If their name is Jane Doe, do you have someone close or related to you named Jane?  It’s a great remembering names technique.
  • Focus more on the other person than yourself.  Pay close attention when you meet them and when you say goodbye.  Again, use their name.

 

Just in case, my name is L…e…a…h…?  ——— H…a…w…t…h…o…r…n.

Enjoy!

Could the City of Dayton Become the Gem City for the Fashion Industry?

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Tameka Jones-Young

It’s been a busy couple of weeks here at Dayton Fashion Week and the dates have been set for the Kids Casting Call (10 a.m. to 1 p.m. March 10 at De’Lish Cafe located at 139 N. Main St.) and the casting call to become a host covering the DFW for Inside Couture Television (10a.m. to 1 p.m. April 7 at SunWatch Indian Village, 2301 West River Road) which airs in Miami Florida.

New York Fashion week kicked off this week and a Dayton native will be gracing the runway of Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in New York!  Tameka Jones-Young will rip the runway for Indonesian designer Farah Angsana. “Walking in Mercedes Benz Fashion Week has been a dream since I began my modeling career. I feel so fortunate to finally have the opportunity. I am beyond excited!” said the mother of 2 and graduate of Chaminade-Julienne. After taking part in a national search, Tameka is also the new face of Shinto Clinical – a new skincare line by fashion mogul and reality TV star Kimora Lee Simmons (ex-wife of music mogul Russell Simmons). You can watch Tameka live on the runway at FarahAngsana.com and on Style.com on Wednesday February 15 at 5pm. New York Fashion Week runs February 9-16 at Lincoln Center’s Darosch Park and features the Fall 2012 collections of some of the world’s top designers.

So what exactly is Fashion Week and why should the people of Dayton care that we are finally having one? In short, Fashion Week is an opportunity for designers to showcase their latest designs. We all know about the multi-million dollar showcases in New York, Milan, and Paris—they have the A List Celebrities sitting in the front rows of their shows and buyers from some of the top department stores and fashion lines in the world eagerly awaiting the next big fashion trends to hit the shelves and racks of their stores. But did you know that the City of Dayton has the potential to become prime real estate for the Fashion Industry. Yes, you read that right! The City of Dayton is sitting right in the middle of 2 of the most respected fashion brands in the country—Macy’s which is headquartered in Cincinnati and The Limited Brands which include Express and Victoria’s Secret (to name a few) is headquartered in Columbus. These companies spend millions of dollars every year to manufacture their clothing all over the world so why has the city of Dayton been overlooked as one of those locations to manufacture their clothing? As we all know when the auto industry collapsed a few years ago it left a huge gap in our local economy, unemployment skyrocketed, and it also left a lot of abandoned factories just sitting around waiting for someone to take notice of all of the gems around us. I’m not sure how much thought or energy has gone into trying to get the attention of Macy’s and the Limited Brands  from our city leaders or if they’ve ever considered the notion but it’s definitely something that Dayton Fashion Week team thought was worth mentioning–afterall it was Dayton’s close vicinity to Detroit, our railway system, and the easy accessibility to Interstate 75 and 70  that made us prime real estate for the auto industry.  Why not the fashion industry?

Say what – Scrapbooking is cool, again?

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When I was growing up, scrapbooking was what mothers and grandmothers did to preserve the memories in a family.  It was a crafty way to enhance a photo, or relive a moment in their loved ones life.  I remember having scrapbooking parties at my friend’s house – decked out with the latest in polka-dot stationary, crazy corner hole punches, and cheesy stickers.

Since those days, the scrapbook era has long faded.  That is until a few months ago when a new social networking site popped up and spurred the interest of scrapbookers and vision board makers across the globe.  Pinterest has become Scrapbooking 2.0 – and it’s reign has just begun.

What is this site all about anyways? Pinterest offers users the joy of “pinning” photos found on the web or other users boards to a plethora of personal boards (board = online scrapbook category).  These boards can contain anything from recipe ideas, clothing ideas, DIY projects, places you want to travel to, and more.

The social aspect comes in as you pin items and other people can comment on your photos or “repin” your photo to their boards.  You can even follow other users to get instantly inspired each time you log on.

To get started, you will have to get an invite to join.  Here are some tips on how to get an invite quicker, in case you don’t want to wait the several days it usually takes to get one.  Once you get an invite, decide what boards you want to start collecting, and start pinning!

 

You can find items to pin by looking through the Pinterest web site, or by surfing the web.  They offer a browser toolbar “Pin it” button that makes it quick and easy to add something to a board.  There is even an iPhone app that allows you to take photos and pin them to your boards.

I will forewarn all you eager to get started with using Pinterest.  It is a bit of a time sucker and is very easy to get addicted to.  But that’s not always a terrible thing, right? 🙂

Don’t be a Double Dipper

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Ah, the infamous Buffet Line.  We’ve all been there, especially at many business events and Lunch N Learns.  But is there such a thing as Buffet Etiquette?  Of course there is.  “Manners” may not be the first word that jumps into your head, but it does exist and helps us look good while refraining from doing the don’ts in and after the buffet line.

A lot of the business luncheons and events that I have attended use buffets.  There are also some people who have objections or phobias about eating at a buffet, but they can’t refuse when the boss is buying.  So, the next time you have to attend one of these business luncheons and/or events, here are some basic Buffet Etiquette Rules to follow:

  • Be Patient.  There is always going to be that one person in front of you that takes their own sweet time loading their plate as if they were molding Devil’s Tower in Close Encounters.  Just take some deep breaths and know that you are getting your food quicker than if you were ordering it.
  • Don’t complain.  Complaining about the food, the movement of the line, or that they are not refilling the chafing dishes quickly enough, can come off as rude to the people standing next to you.  Complaining won’t move that line any quicker.  In fact, it may slow it down.   Don’t engage in Buffet Rage!
  • Use the serving spoons.  Please…….use the serving spoon.  And when you use the serving spoon, put the spoon or tongs on the plate below the chafing dish.  Don’t mix the serving utensil in with other food.   Some people may not like green beans mixed in with their mashed potatoes.  My grandfather always said, “Well, it all goes to the same place, doesn’t it?” but I don’t think a lot of people think that way.  Sorry, Grandpa.
  • Don’t eat in the buffet line.  This really needs no explanation.  There are so many things wrong with eating in a buffet line that there isn’t enough room on the page.
  • Don’t overload.  We’ve all seen this.  And it’s just so darn attractive, isn’t it?  Seeing a pile of food fall to the floor, awaiting the next person to come along and step in it is a real treat.  See Devil’s Tower.
  • To-go container.  Asking for a to-go container is a definite don’t!  I have seen people do so, taking two and three meals home with them.  Really?!!  A Buffet is NOT an all-you-can-eat bar.
  • Please & Thank You.  Three words with fourteen letters that carry a great deal of weight.  Please and Thank you are never used too much.
  • Tip 10%.  If you are in a restaurant where there is an opportunity to tip and it is a buffet, 10% is appropriate.
  • When to start eating. Wait until at least four people around you have been seated before eating.  In some cases, tables will be released to the buffet line.  In this case, most of the people at your table will be sitting down at the same time.  Try to be respectful and wait for about four other guests to sit down before you start to dine.  You don’t want to be the first one to the table and dig in as the others sit down.  You definitely stand out in the crowd when you wait for others to be seated around you.  Believe me, they notice!
  • Don’t Double Dip.  If you are at a casual function and there is a vegetable tray or chips with dip, please put the dip on your plate with a spoon and then dip.

Buffets are part of business dining today but just remember these tips and you’ll always Outclass the Competition.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1J3w4cS2MvM’]

 

10 Things Said That Will End a 1st Date Quickly.

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Coming off of a bit of a dating spree and couldn’t help myself from sharing a few things I’ve learned. The first date is at times an awkward even painful experience. Why make it worse than it has to be? There are a few things that ultimately you shouldn’t discuss when meeting a dating prospect for the first time, things you shouldn’t utter..things that may result in  your date walking out on you. I should mention that I did walk out on one and though for the first time, it was both insanely rude of me as well as refreshingly liberating. Let me explain further. You may want to jot these down.

10 Things Not To Say on a First Date

1. “My ex was nuts. There were jealousy issues in the relationship” – Why are you talking about your past relationship on a first date? How is this relevant to the newness of meeting each other? All this says to me is that you’re either not over it and if you’re out with me, you should probably be over it. In general, the issues in your passed love affairs shouldn’t be a topic you’re dying to explore with a new person on a first date. Save it for your therapist, order a cocktail and engage in real conversation instead.

2. “I’m unemployed. I’m trying to find myself” – What?! Get a job! Look, I’m all for trying to figure out your path in life and not being sure where your happiness in life truly lies, but in the meantime shouldn’t you be paying your bills? Get a job, I have nothing more to say about this one.

3. “I’m not looking for anything serious” – Can I  order my dinner before you jump to conclusions about what I am looking for? For pete’s sake I know I am in my 30s but just because I’ve agreed to hang out with you doesn’t mean I’m ready to jump into a relationship. Get over yourself.

4. “BTDubs” – How about STFU? Seriously, you’re offline and in the real world. Please don’t speak in acronyms and think it’s cute. You’re not Lauren Conrad and this isn’t The Hills. It makes you sound like a complete ass.

5. “My Ex and I used to come here” – Again with the ex? Why don’t you call her and ask her to join us too? Seriously, whether you’re a guy or a gal leave the ex factor out of the conversation. It really is a big turn just as much as your Facebook photo that has him or her cropped out of it. If you’re not over it you have no business dating. Take sometime to yourself to figure things out.

6. “I’m a Serial Monogamist” – Great. So how many unsuccessful relationships have you been in? How many times have you jumped from one to another? I’m so honored you’re out with me right now.  Am I next? Shut up. There’s no need to divulge your dating patterns at this point. The fact that you’re able to commit is great,  but none of them going anywhere only makes me wonder, “what’s wrong with this guy?”

7. “I need an adventurous girl” – I rock climb, hike and indulge in spicy food on occasion, is that what you mean? REALLY. Can we get through a date before you’re making “bedroom demands” or telling me your fantasies? This same guy likes to prematurely sext and send inappropriate photos of himself. Major red flag.

8. “Did that tattoo hurt?” – No, I orgasmed. Of course it hurt you idiot. There are needles in the machine you refer to as a tattoo gun. I wish I had a gun to put myself out of misery from a ten minute conversation with you. Here’s a tip, generally people with many tattoos don’t want to answer stupid questions about tattoos.

9. “You’re perfume smells like my Mother” – Hold the phone freak. I’m glad your Mother has taste and may or may not wear Chanel but never compare me to her. That’s a sure fire way for me to NOT to answer the phone the next time you call.

The number 10 thing never to say on a first date, the one that caused me to stand up and walk out.

10. “Ultimately, I know I want to be with my ex” – Great, thanks for the heads up. Ordinarily, I would have probably related to this and offered some piece of advice because I understand what it’s like to feel like that way. However,  I had recently been jerked around for two months by a guy who clearly wasn’t over his ex, who wasted my time because he was lonely and “ultimately” exited out of my life with that very statement. So, to hear it on first date with someone else so soon after certainly rubbed me the wrong way. I stood up and walked out. I’m sure he thinks I’m odd or crazy even for doing so but I did it and it felt great. I hope he worked things out with her.

The ex factor  in general is something I always advise against bringing up early on when dating someone new. I think many people, in an effort to not feel alone, jump right into dating. It isn’t fair to you or the person or persons you date because you did not allow yourself the necessary time to heal. Though some felt it extreme, I held off for a year after the end of my last because I knew it was more important for me to fix the relationship I had with myself than it was to find a relationship with someone else. Just a piece of advice, take your time.

Well, there you have it..10 Things Not to Say on a First Date. What was the worst or most insane thing someone has said to you on a first date?

Not Your Grandparents’ Norman Rockwell

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The Problem We All Live With

The Problem We All Live With

You only have a few days to get to The Dayton Art Institute or you’re going to miss something surprisingly evocative and just plain cool.

Until recently, my idea of Norman Rockwell was a memory of images painted on dishes displayed in my granny and grandpa’s dining room cabinet. Those images were cutsey, small-town Americana and very, very quaint.

My Norman Rockwell has changed an awful lot.

When I first visited the exhibit “American Chronicles: The Art of Norman Rockwell,” I was surprised to learn this iconic American artist was a progressive thinker. To be honest, I had no idea he created a body of work addressing such issues as desegregation, civil rights and poverty. I admit I was stunned when standing in front of The Problem We All Live With, a recreation of the walk 6-year-old Ruby Bridges took as a first-grade student and the first African American to attend a previously all-white school in New Orleans. This was not only because of the powerful imagery but because I had not expected to see this ― feel this ― in a Norman Rockwell exhibit. I had trouble breaking myself away from Murder in Mississippi, Rockwell’s depiction of the murders of three young civil rights workers in Philadelphia, Miss., during the civil rights era.  I was late for a meeting (OK, really late) but I really didn’t care. These paintings!

I had the same intense feeling ― you know, when you think a wooly worm is crawling along your spine ― when hearing that same Ruby Bridges Rockwell painted years ago tell a packed auditorium at The Art Institute about her experience and emotions that November day as she and her mother, riding in a car with federal marshals, made their way to her new school.  (Tangent: Check out Bridges’ book, Through My Eyes, if you get a chance.)

Ruby Bridges speaks to a packed house at The Dayton Art Institute and shares images from the day she made history by being the first African American to attend a previously all-white school. "Even back then, I knew that 'separate but equal' was not true," she said.

Ruby Bridges shares images from the day she made history as the first African American to attend a previously all-white school. "Even back then, I knew 'separate but equal' was not true," she said.

And there were more surprises. Bridges’ parents were not activists. They simply wanted a better life for their daughter, which is why they answered when the NAACP knocked on their door. Bridges used her imagination to decipher what was happening during those days when she unknowingly was making history. Since she had been one of only six African American children to pass a test engineered for them to fail, Bridges thought she was so smart she was going to college. Since her neighbors walked alongside the car that drove her to her first grade class, she thought she was in a Mardi Gras parade. Bridges said the worst thing about first grade was being lonely, as nearly all the white families had withdrawn their children from the school. She revealed the horror of walking by white protestors holding an infant’s coffin containing a black doll, constant threats that she would be poisoned, the schoolboy who told Bridges his mother insisted he not play with her and the weight she felt lifted off her shoulders upon hearing that comment because, finally, she knew what was going on. She knew it was about color, the color of her skin.

Continue…

Who Are You Looking For? (Eye Contact Matters)

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source: www.nataliedee.com

For me, going out to dinner is my favorite way to socialize with people that I know, and is a great way to meet new people.  My husband and I used to run into the same person quite frequently while going out to dine.  Like most people, we have our favorite spots and would see some of the same people over and over.

One gentleman – we’ll call him, John, would greet us with a friendly smile, saying hello and shaking hands.  Yet, John always seemed to need more.  He was constantly looking around during the conversation to see who was there that might be even more interesting to talk to.

“Hello, I’m right here!” is what I wanted to say.  John did this with everyone he met.  If I felt that way, I’m quite sure they felt the same.

Someone like John wouldn’t last long in the world of business networking.  People today are looking to form relationships with the people they meet while networking.  John would be known as a WIIFM – What’s in it for me!  Business men and women like to network with people who listen to what they say; not with someone who constantly gazes (The Gazer) around the room while they are speaking.  Now, everybody is a WIIFM at times, but – come on!!!   

More than 60% eye contact and you might look like this to the person you're talking to...

Your eye contact:

  1. Tells the other person you are listening.
  2. Actually makes you a better listener.
  3. Focuses attention on the individual and makes him or her feel important while you look confident and in control.

Rules to follow in any circumstance:

  • Make eyeball to eyeball contact 40 to 60 percent of the time during your conversation.
  • Less than 40 percent makes a person seem shy or lacking self-confidence.  Or, in John’s case, looking for someone better to talk to!!
  • More than 60 percent eye contact will make someone feel uncomfortable, as if they’re being judged and examined.
  • Eye contact is a sign of Trust.

Now – when John comes over to talk to me, I just ask him “Who are you looking for?”

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUQAeGkhsoY’]

Important Dates about Dayton Fashion Week and How to Break into Modeling

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As the Director of Operations for the City of Dayton’s first International Fashion Week, I can’t tell you enough just how grateful we are for the overwhelming show of support that we have received from the entire Miami Valley area. Plans are really coming together and we have an exciting line up of designers who have come on board to be a part of this ground breaking event for our city including Marlene Haute Couture, Bothdol Fashions, House of Jola, and Dayton’s very own kids line Cupcake Couture just to name a few! Before I go any further there are some important dates to remember that are rapidly approaching; on Wednesday February 1 at 8:15 and 8:45 be sure to tune in to FOX 45 in the Morning, where the Dayton Fashion Week team will make its debut–there will be a mini fashion show featuring the designs of Marlene Haute Couture. On Saturday February 25 from 10am-3pm Dayton Fashion Week will hold its first casting call for models—all models must bring with them this signed release form. To be clear, there will be separate casting calls for the Children’s Runway Show and to become one of the hosts for Inside Couture Television, the dates and locations for these casting calls will be announced soon. Finally, the deadline for designers to apply to be a part of Dayton Fashion week is Thursday March 1 all submissions must be sent via our website at daytonfashionweek.com.

Since the announcement was made about Dayton Fashion Week members of the DFW team have been bombarded with question about the industry and the most common question is “How do I become a model?” So here are a few pointers on how to jump start your modeling career–The first thing you need to know is what genre you fit into. There are several genres of modeling; High Fashion, Plus-Sized, Lifestyles, and Promotional are the most common. High Fashion Modeling is probably the most popular and well known form of the modeling industry—these are the models that you see sashaying up and down the runways for some of the world’s top designers and they are also seen in magazines like Vogue. These models are typically very thin and tall, females must be at least 5’10 and males 5’9. Plus-Sized models also fall under the High Fashion Models height restrictions, the only difference is size–Plus-Sized Model typically wears a size 6-12. Lifestyle models are generally used in photos showing a common life activity—for example– an ad photo for Tide in a magazine of a mother joyfully doing laundry. Promotional Models are used at various conventions showcasing products. A models height and size tend to be a lot less restrictive for both Lifestyle and Promotional Models.

Once you have determined what genre you fit into, now it’s time to take some pictures! As mentioned in one of my previous columns–DO NOT GO OUT AND SPEND HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS ON PROFESSIONAL PICTURES!! There are cheaper ways to get the pictures that you need to start your modeling career. There are thousands of photographers looking to fine tune their skills on websites like modelmayhem.com which is a networking site for models, designers, makeup artist, and photographers. It’s free to join and what’s even better—there are a lot of photographers who are willing to work with you free of charge also known as TFP if you have the look that they are looking for to build their portfolio. If you book a job via Model Mayhem it is very important that you discuss concepts, compensation, locations, ask for references, and ask if escorts are welcomed prior to arranging any meetings or shoots. Another cheap way to get the pictures that you need is to have a friend or a family member take the pictures for you please reference the criteria for photos in this past article about the casting call for DFW.

So now you know which genre you’re in, you have your pictures, and now it’s time to get discovered. This is where it’s important for you to start doing research on the various fashion markets in the U.S. New York is known for more High Fashion work, Chicago and Los Angeles do more Editorial, Atlanta’s market is geared towards Promotional and Lifestyles, and Miami does a mix of all 4 markets–there are also off seasons for each of these cities. You should also research the various agencies because not all agencies cater to each genre. Once you’ve picked the agency that you think best suites you, find out when they hold their open calls, which is pretty much a casting call. If you can’t afford to travel ask for a mailing address, website, or email address where you can send your photos. Please understand that agencies handle hundreds of phone calls and receive thousands of pictures every day, if an agency is interested in you they will contact you.

Hopefully these tips will help you in your pursuit to breaking into the industry. If you haven’t done so yet please “LIKE” our Facebook page. Can you think of a better way to launch your career than at Dayton Fashion Week?

No Littering Allowed!!

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Several years ago, I went to a networking event.  Now, this was a new venue for me so, I thought I would try it out.  As I walked into the event, John, we’ll call him, an extremely well-dressed gentleman entered with me.  To my surprise, he had a stack of business cards, about three inches thick, torn and bent and wrapped in a HUGE rubber band.  I took a double take, thinking he was going to put them in his pocket, but he turned to me, held them up like a trophy and said, “I mean business!”  And he kept them like that all evening, passing them out as if they were flyers at a hardware store opening, and this was a professional networking event!

Later, John, sat down at a table, with would-be clients, and said, “You need me,” and then tossed his business card to the person across the table.  I can’t be positive, but I think that may have been a wasted business card.

In the world of Business Card Protocol, this behavior is called Littering.

Business cards are extremely important for networking, yet forcing cards on innocent bystanders who may respect the importance of forming trust and relationships, may prove to be counterproductive.  The word will spread and would-be connections may run for cover if they see the same person packing a wad of cards, heading their direction.  Here are tips for making sure your business cards are received, respected and most importantly, retained:

 

  • Keep your cards in a case and/or side pocket for easy access.
  • Don’t offer your card early in a conversation.  When your conversation is over, simply ask “What is the best way for me to reach you?”   Almost always, the response will be, “let me give you my card.”  That is then your cue to offer them yours.
  • Present your card with the print facing the recipient so the recipient doesn’t have to turn it around to read it.
  • When receiving a card, admire and comment on their card.  Remember, their card represents them and they are proud of them.  Don’t write on the business card in their presence.
  • Last, but not least, never carry your business cards in a rubber band, and never toss them while networking.  You might as well be playing 52 Card Pick-up!

 

In the extremely dark comedy, American Psycho, notice how obsessive these four are about the perfect business card.  Enjoy!

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ux3vncNNLg’]

The Ugly Side of a Beauty Based Industry

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Hi my name is Caressa Brown, I have acne prone skin, stretch marks on my hips, I pluck unwanted hairs from my chin and neck and I was 28 years old the first time that I felt pretty without a hair weave or straight hair. When I was a kid I had bugged eyes, bucked teeth, dark gums, and would go home crying every day after getting picked on by classmates for being so tall and skinny–they called me names like Skeletor, Jimney Cricket, and Nappy-Go-Happy to name a few. I didn’t get into modeling because I thought I was cute;  in fact it was quite the opposite— at the age of 11 with my self-esteem 6 feet below the basement my mom enrolled me in Betty Massie Modeling School in Centerville with the hopes that I would learn some skills that would boost my self-esteem and confidence. After that first class the instructor told my mom that she wasn’t going to charge me to attend because I had the potential to be signed in a larger market or a major agency and at the age of 12, I signed my first professional modeling contract.

At the time it was the norm for agencies to only have one black model if any–and it was a rarity for any agency to have two– if they did, the models were instantly pitted against each other. So there I was – an insecure 12 year old model, the only black face at casting calls, and I wasn’t getting booked for any jobs. Seeing the affect that it had on me my parents put my career on hold until I was in high school, when ironically, I was scouted and signed on the spot by the President of Click Modeling Agency and the very first “plus-sized” model signed to the Click.

I said all of that to say this – I know that there was some disappointment based on the size restrictions for Dayton Fashion Week and I was immediately called out for it—one person questioned how could our city’s very first International Fashion Week put such size restrictions on models.  After all this is the city that brought you Toccara Jones – a “plus-sized” model who appeared on America’s Next Top Model.  And this is the Midwest where the vast majority of people don’t come close to fitting into those sizes—and I couldn’t agree more. I’ll be the first to tell you that it pained me to add those restrictions so much so that I reduced the height requirement from 5’10 to 5’8 and I raised the dress size from a 2 to a 4.

Before I go any further please understand that I would love to have women of all shapes and sizes rocking the runway of DFW–but the sad truth is, when it comes to finding designers of “plus size” clothing–pardon the pun but it’s slim pickings and when you add the fact that DFW is an inaugural event it becomes even more difficult.  As of right now we have not had any designers of “plus-size” clothing to sign up–but it’s my hope to find local boutiques that cater to women of all sizes to step up and participate.  So I encourage everyone REGARDLESS of your size to come on out to De’Lish Café and give it your best shot.

When I was offered the opportunity to write this column by DMM Publisher Bill Pote, he admitted that he didn’t know much about the fashion or modeling industries and he requested that I helped to educate readers about the industry and share some of my experiences. So without further ado—

Lesson #1 – Image is Everything

This can be a cruel and vicious industry– and if you don’t fit into that image you will be chewed up and spit out. As mentioned when I started modeling I was the only black model at all of the casting calls—when I returned to modeling the first photshoots I booked were for my comp cards. I spoke with the photographer over the phone the night before, he asked me my race, and I told him that I was black. I arrived and I was immediately ripped to shreds for not being “black enough”–for an hour the photographer fussed at me because my nose wasn’t wide enough, my lips weren’t full enough, I had golden undertones in my skin, my eyes looked Asian, my cheek bones were too high, and he demanded to know my family history. I told him that I was black, Blackfoot, Cherokee, and Irish. Then he snapped at me “that’s how you need to identify yourself from now on” and then he went on to tell me that I’ll never get cast as a black model.

Lesson # 2 – The Skinny on Skinny Models

There are several reasons why models are so thin: 1) It’s very expensive to start and maintain a clothing line and the less you spend on fabric the better–hence the sample size 2 that is often seen on the runway. 2) Most designers want their clothing to appear on the runway as if it’s hanging on a hanger which means no curves. 3) Somewhere a standard of beauty was set saying that the thinner you are the more attractive.  The good news is that there has been a movement to ban super skinny models on the runway, but the bad news is—it came from governments and the industry fought against it claiming that they were being used as a scapegoat for eating disorders.

Lesson #3 – If You Wanna be on Top—You’ll Need a Strong Support System

I can’t even begin to imagine where I’d be or what my mind set would be like if I didn’t have strong, active and supportive parents in my life. My education always came first, so during those years of low self-esteem I gained inner confidence based on my academic performances.  I was an honor student, a volunteer, a Who’s Who Among American High School Students, etc.  By the time I was in my 20’s and I had contract offers from the top modeling agency in the world Elite, I didn’t feel the pressure to fit into any industry standard because I was focused on college. When people come to me about getting involved in modeling I tell them how important it is to have a support system in place.  I don’t mean having a “yes man” – you need to have someone willing to tell you when you are wrong, pick you up when you are down, and be your voice when yours is lost.

Lesson #4 – True Beauty Starts from the Inside

I know it’s cliché but it’s the truth – if you don’t like what you see in the mirror there’s no amount of makeup that can cover that up. I started this article talking about my insecurities – the majority of which I have overcome by not allowing them to define me as a person. I set my own standards and I don’t waste my time comparing myself to anyone. I look myself in the mirror everyday literally and figuratively speaking, and if I don’t like what I see I adjust my mind set and slowly but surely I work on those things until they are no longer an issue for me… no cosmetics or designer clothing needed.

No, it won’t kill you to turn off your phone…

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It used to be impressive, very impressive, to own a cell phone.  In the late 80’s, when cell phones were two feet long and weighed about five pounds, it was impressive to see someone set their cell phone on the dining or conference table – you KNEW they were important!  Remember the 1987 movie, Wall Street?  Gordon Gekko walked along the beach plotting his next financial takeover on his huge cell phone – you KNEW he was somebody!

Well, guess what? It’s 2012, and everyone has a cell phone, I-phone, Droid or even an old flip phone.  Even ten-year-old Susie and 11 year-old Johnny have cell phones.  So, the next time you think about whipping out your mobile device at the dining table or during a business meeting, setting it on the table or checking it every 15 seconds to see if you’ve missed something, try to remember that the person in front of you is what’s important.  Impress them with your ability to focus on them.   Now, that’s Cell Phone Etiquette!

Top 5 Cell Phone Etiquette Tips

  1.  Always turn your phone on mute while in a business meeting, theatre, or while dining.
  2. Never set your phone on the table while in a meeting or while dining.  Doing so sends a clear message to the person you’re meeting with or the person you’re dining with that they are not important.
  3. Your cell phone conversation is not private.  What’s more annoying than listening to the intimate details of a stranger’s weekend while standing in line to get coffee or while in the restroom?
  4. Excuse yourself if you must take a call.  The call may be important to you, but you’re also important to the person with you.
  5. Don’t talk on your cell phone, play games or send text messages in front of someone who expects your attention including doctors, business partners, grocery store clerks or friends.
  6. BONUS TIP:  If the airline asks you to turn off your cell phone, do it.  Words With Friends can wait.
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