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How to drink beer in the shower

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via The Nate Green Experience

Beer has been around longer than showers have. Way longer, actually, which means people were getting drunk and smelly well before it was commonplace to bathe every single day. Considering all the black plague and polio going around, who could blame them for wanting to be wasted all the time? Nowadays, we have so much clean water in our society that we literally poop in it (I’m not above toilet jokes here, folks). We even waste gallons of the life-saving stuff each time we shower. Yet, with all of these modern marvels of sanitation technology, we seldom do anything in the shower other than wash ourselves, urinate down our legs, procreate, and mentally relive embarrassing situations. Fortunately, people from all around the world have been stepping up their shower game lately. But drinking beer in the shower is nothing if not confusing… probably. I’m here to finally end the confusion and prevent you from ending up with soapy shards of glass in your cornea or, even worse, spilled beer.

Make sure your beer is cold

This whole article probably goes without saying, but you’re going to be in a tiny room with hot water cascading towards you at a rapid rate. It’s going to heat things up, so you need to be prepared by maximizing the chillocity of your beverage. Canned beer is perfect for this. Toss one of those bad boys in the freezer for a few minutes while you commence the bathing preparations. Before you know it, you’ll be experiencing the luxury of drinking an ice cold beverage and warming your entire body at the same time. Isn’t this country awesome? U-S-A! U-S-A!

Stock up on beer geek street cred

Let me explain; you can easily drink right out of the bottle or can like a normal person. However, if you want to be a super awesome beer geek then you shouldn’t be afraid to go the whole nine yards. Plus, it’s kind of awkward to be naked and to put something brown and phallic-shaped up to your lips. Grab some appropriate glassware, artfully pour it into the glass, and savor the beer just like you would at a tasting except you’ll have shampoo in your hair. And you’ll be naked, unless of course you go to naked beer tastings, in which case you can add the next one to the Dayton Most Metro calendar. The point is that you need to look like a true beer geek at all times, even if nobody else is around. Otherwise you’re just a poser. Beer Geek? More like beer weak, am I right?

via The Daily Dot

Leave your morals at the door

Drinking alcohol opens the door for other, um, activities. While there’s no shame in innocently chugging four of five brewskis in the shower by yourself and passing out on the couch with a towel barely wrapped around you, we all know that drinking leads to debauchery. I encourage you to bring a friend or two along and have a shower party. Did I mention you’ll already be naked? I’m not going to suggest anything explicit on here (other than riding a moose with a loved one), but keep in mind that drinking alone is one of the signs of alcoholism. Although, on the other hand…

Wallow alone

Both drinking and showering are great ways to indulge in self pity and reflect on all your mistakes in life, especially first thing in the morning. Remember when I said there was no shame in drinking by yourself? I was lying. At the risk of completely dismissing this whole article in one sentence, if you’re drinking solo in the shower then you’ll probably end up dying alone. You know that one special person that got away? They never actually loved you. They never actually needed you, and they are better off without you. Think about that and drink up. Remember, tears are harder to spot in the shower.

Pics or it didn’t happen

What’s the point of doing anything unless you post hundreds of pictures of it to facebook? Take a whole bunch of photos of you getting your drink on in the wash room, slap some Instagram filters on’em, and put them all over the internet. Check in on untappd and let everyone know you’re showering. Remember, you’re only worth as much as the number of likes you get. People will love how outside-the-box your mind works, and before you know it your Klout score will go up a point or two.

By the way, don’t forget to share this article on facebook, Twitter, Pintrest, Tumblr, Instagram, Snapchat, Live Journal, Xanga, and Myspace.

Beer puns: I can barley stand them

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwEqTbaFVXU

Big Pun

Big Pun was not a player, he just f****d a lot.

Remember Big Pun? Dude was a robust rapper whose biggest hit was about banging chicks. This was a simpler time back in 1998 when fat guys could get famous by talking about how much tail they got and nobody would question them. Anyway, in my half-assed attempt to try to segue into the actual article, I’d like to point out that I bet Big Pun could take down a few pints of beers without it even phasing him. Like the rapper himself, there are some pretty big puns in the beer world. This little article is going to explore (read: poke fun of) some of the most punishing puns out there. And yes, I’m going to try to cram as many puns in here as I can. Hopefully you will catch on to my rye wit. It’s the yeast I can do. (Bam, three puns right there).

Hop on the pun train

Head on over to Beeradvocate and check out their top beers for Imperial IPAs and look at some of the names. Hopslam, Hopsicle, Pure Hoppiness… Everyone has their own version of a hop pun, and that’s not just hop-perbole (eh..). The word “hop” is probably the easiest beer-related word that you can make puns with. Making an IPA with apricots? Boom, “Aprihop”. Releasing a hoppy red ale in the fall? Boom, “Red Hoptober”. Want to convey that the beer is so bitter that it will literally kill you? Boom, “Hopsecutioner”. The list is almost never ending, and frankly it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Homebrewers are getting in on the action as well; Brent Osborn from Osborn Brewing recently posted a label for a beer called Hopstitute. That’s a hop prostitute in case you didn’t catch it.

Hopstitute - Osborn Brewing

$1.99 per ounce, or $199 per hour.

Fermentationalism Sensationalism: Breweries grounded in puns

Patrick Rue started a brewery and called it The Bruery. Get it? Of course you do. But they don’t just stop at their name, they like to come up with all kinds of puns. “Rueuze” is their version of a gueuze. “Tart of Darkness” is their sour black ale. “Chocosaurus Rye” is their chocolate rye beer. “Loakal Red” is their red ale that is aged in oak and is only available to the locals near the brewery (how’s that for specific?). The list goes on and on. At least they aren’t rued about it. Another brewery located in Louisville called Against the Grain has an affinity for making beers that pack a PUNch: Judas Yeast, Tickle Me Ale-mo, Raucho Man Randy Beverage, My Hammy Weiss, Quiet RYE-it… I could seriously name any of their beers right now. Just look at all their beers and you’ll see what I mean. There are more breweries who have notoriously punbelievable beer names: Dogfish Head, Cigar City, Three Floyds, Oskar Blues, Surly, Great Lakes, and… well, pretty much every other brewery out there.

Imperial Entendre

I have a theory about why puns are so rampant in the beer world. You see, the truth about beer people is that they are all kind of dorks. I’m very much putting myself into this category. Being dorks, we like to make dorky jokes, and what’s dorkier than a good pun? Beer geeks like to come up with clever little puns to make their beer geek friends chuckle. I can speak from firsthand experience; I have made beers that only came about because I thought of a stupid name first. For example, I thought it would be funny to name a beer “Brett Michaels” and ferment it with Brettanomyces, so my next batch is going to be a beer with Brettanomyces. The name came before the beer. So now when people come over, they get to taste Brett Michaels. It’s stupid and dorky, but that’s who we are.

Just like bananas, these puns are appealing

I couldn’t be bothered to actually spend time researching this train wreck of an article, so I recently asked some of the local beer geeks what some of their favorite beer puns were. Here’s a few of the best:

Hoptimus Prime
Black Hops
Java the Hop
Cure what ales you
Hopstitute
Imperial stout trooper
Tricerahops
Hell Or High Watermelon
Hopportunity Knocks
Just the TIPA (one of my personal favorites)
Hoptical Illusion
Men in Bock
Genghis Pecan
Boom Shakalager
Groundskeeper Spilly
Mama’s Little Yella Pils
For Those About to Bock
There Will Be Black (I DRINK IT UP)
IBUsive
Stop, Hop and Roll
Alphaphylactic Hop
Dry Humpkin
Hoppy Seconds
Yippie Rye Aye
Citra Ass Down!
Spruce Willis
You Will Fail Ale
Goser the Gosarian
Apocalypse Cow
Pandora’s Bock
Me, My Spelt, and Rye
Wet Hop American Summer

These are all real names for beer. Seriously, google them. Want some more beer pun fun? Check out Bad Beer Puns on Twitter. I got a chuckle from “Lambic Pentameter”.

What’s your favorite beer pun? Hop on over to the comments section and let me know. Or don’t, I don’t care.

Berliner Weisse and everything nice

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You know what I love? Drinking a whole bunch of beer all at once. I mean, I know beer geeks like to go on and on about sitting back and taking your time with a beer. “Sip the beer conservatively, letting it warm up and blossom in your glass like a fine port wine blah blah blah”. I’m a busy guy. Sometimes I want to take a couple of beers to the dome before driving my kids to their soccer game. (Just kidding. About having kids, that is.) But man, with all this Kraft Macaroni Beer or whatever it’s called being 7% and up, it’s tough to pound a six pack without falling on your donkey. Luckily, there’s the wonderful world of session beers, and my personal favorite is the Berliner Weisse. That’s why I usually grab a Berliner when I need to fill up my styrofoam Big Gulp and hit the road. (I’m kidding. Don’t drink and drive).

What the hell is a Berliner Weiss?

Berliners are little guys, usually around 3% ABV. They are are dry, tart, and refreshing. Sometimes, American brewers will get all fancy and make their “Imperial” Berliners upwards of 6%, but technically speaking they shouldn’t be anywhere near that high. Usually consisting of pilsner malt and wheat, the beer has no hop character whatsoever. In fact, sometimes hops aren’t added at all. The beer can be brewed a few different ways, but the most common is a no-boil and a little to no hop mashing process. The tartness comes from the wonderful bacteria Lactobacillus, which is the same stuff found in yogurt that gives it the twang. Occasionally Berliners will have Brettanomyces, a “wild” yeast that produces flavors that craft beer aficionados will refer to as “funky”. Don’t let that dissuade you, though, because even though Berliners feature bacteria and wild yeast, they usually taste quite clean. They are very approachable and kind of like the training wheels of sour beers.

The Bruery Hottenroth

The History of Berliners

You may have guessed that this beer comes from Berlin, Germany. It dates back to the 16th century, and was at one time the most popular alcoholic beverage in Berlin. There is a popular story that in 1809, Napoleon’s troops dubbed this beer the “Champagne of the North”. In recent years, the style has lost its market share and it is difficult to find examples outside of Berlin. In Germany, the beer is almost never served by itself but rather with fruit syrup, raspberry and Woodruff being the most common. While unblended Berliners are fairly common in the United States, you may get a strange look if you order this beer in Germany without the syrup addition. Americans are so cray-cray.

Commercial Examples

Unfortunately, there aren’t a whole lot of Berliners floating around compared to more popular styles like IPAs. Luckily, the ones that are available are pretty delicious. Hands down, my favorite is Professor Fritz 1809. This is pretty much Professor Fritz 1809 Berliner Weissethe quintessential Berliner Weiss available around here (even though it’s a bit high at around 5% ABV). In my experience, there is some slight bottle variation; some are a bit more sour than others, but they are always fantastic. Another fine example is The Bruery’s Hottenroth, which features both Lactobacillus and Brettanomyces. As with all of The Bruery’s bottled beers, this one comes in a 750ml bottle so it’s perfect for sharing with a few friends. Though there is some debate as to whether or not it’s a true Berliner Weisse, Bell’s Oarsman Ale is a wonderful little beer that is very refreshing. They use a sour mash to produce the tartness, and I usually have a bottle or two in the fridge at all times. Want something a little fruitier? Dogfish Head’s Festina Peche is fermented with peaches, something that isn’t exactly traditional but gives some wonderful sweetness to balance the tartness.

Brewing a Berliner

Unlike pretty much any other sour beer, Berliner Weisse beers are fairly simple to brew and don’t take nearly as long. There are a lot of different techniques that brewers use to create the tart, lemony flavor. Some brewers use a sour mash, which is literally letting the grains partially ferment before adding any yeast. Malted grain is naturally covered in Lactobacillus, so letting the beer sit at around 120 degrees Fahrenheit for a day or two will produce sourness. Then, the brewer can sparge, heat the wort, cool it down, and add ale yeast like any other beer. Another technique is to add the Lacto to the wort before adding any ale yeast. This is the method I have done in the past and I’ve had good results. Giving the Lacto a day or two head start will ensure that there is enough sugar for the bacteria to eat rather than the ale yeast dominating. A third technique is to add the Lacto and ale yeast all at once, though sometimes the ale yeast will ferment the beer out before the bacteria has a chance to consume the sugar and produce acidity. Whatever method you use, you want to keep it warm (around 110-120 degrees) and make sure you don’t add very many hops to the beer as Lactobacillus won’t work in a hoppy environment. Keep your bacteria happy, not hoppy.

So there you have it. Berliner Weisse beers are the nectar of the gods. Very few beers are as both satisfying and refreshing at the same time. Sour beers aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but Berliners are pretty easy-going. I like to think of them as the alcoholic’s alternative to lemonade. Next time you cut the grass, consider reaching for a Berliner Weisse to cool off.

The Affligem Pouring Kit or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Being a Sell Out

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The Affligem Pouring Kit

If you have a blog long enough, people will hit you up about all kinds of things: events, guest posts, “affordable marketing”, “long term SEO options”, and a whole bunch of other stuff that you will tend to ignore. However, I recently got an email that I didn’t ignore. It was from Affligem, a Belgian brewery that has apparently been making beer for 950 years, though I had never heard of them. They offered to send me one of their pouring kits free-of-charge. Me being the snob that I am, I am skeptical of any brand of beer that I haven’t heard of, much less one that has enough cash to send free stuff to me for my little dog-and-pony articles. But I’m not so snobby that I’d turn down a free Belgian Blond (or Blonde). Heck, most of the Belgian Blondes I’ve encountered charge by the half-hour. So, I decided to be a complete sell-out and write about their pouring kit. Street cred be damned.

Affligem Kit in the MailI opened my package to find a large Belgian chalice, an adorable little glass, a wooden serving tray, and a bottle of their Blond. I ignored the fact that had zero verification to see if I was over 21 and decided to watch the video that explains what all this extra stuff was for. As it turns out, one is supposed to pour 90% of the beer into the big glass, then pour the remaining 10% (which has the yeast) into the little baby glass. The drinker can then decide whether to drink the beer without yeast, mix the yeast into the beer, or drink the yeast by itself. Admittedly, this gimmick is a pretty neat idea. You always hear about how you’re supposed to drink the yeast in some beers and leave it out in others, but why not have the option of both? Plus, it seems like it’s a good way to really understand what kind of flavors the yeast adds to bottle-conditioned beers. Sure, it’s not really practical to drink out of two glasses at the same time but who am I to judge? I’m drinking out of two right now (if you consider a flask and a mason jar to both be glasses, that is).

Affligem Blond is 7% ABV, and is classified as a Belgian Pale Ale. It is produced year round, and the company that produces it is owned by Heineken (which is probably why they have such a big budget and why I’ve never heard of it). And after hearing it pronounced 50 times in that video, I now know that it’s “Ah-Fleh-Ghem”, not “Ah-phlegm” like my brain kept wanting to say.

I did the whole shebang and poured the beer and yeast separately, smelled them both, tasted them both, then combined them. Here is my impression of the whole experience

Affligem BlondBlond (sans yeast)

The Blond poured a clear deep straw color, almost like a Budweiser that is about twice as dark. It was visibly effervescent and had a rather large white head that left minimal lacing. The aroma was pretty typical of a Belgian Blond; it had a lot of banana and clove, as well as some slight citrus and other sweet spice character. The flavor followed the nose pretty closely, with banana and clove being the dominant flavors. There was some cereal flavors that reminded me of corn flakes. The 7% was very well hidden, and the carbonation level was high and left a prickly feeling on the tongue. Overall, it was kind of watered down and sort of average. Tasty, but average.

Yeast

The yeast was quite a bit cloudier than the regular beer for obvious reasons. It smelled almost the same, though it was a bit more muted overall and had some nice bread character that was missing from the base beer. The taste was, as you would expect, pretty much the same though it had a bit more bitterness and less citrus. It had a lingering flavor that hung around in the mouth that reminded me of bread dough. The flavors were somewhat muted compared to the regular Blond.

Affligem Taster GlassBlond/Yeast Mixed

This was pretty surprising – this was quite a bit different than the separated elements. It was similar to the Blond without yeast, though it had a fuller flavor and, oddly enough, a bigger perceived mouthfeel. The strong flavors of the regular Blond were there, and the added bitterness and bread flavors from the yeast added complexity. The mix was by far my favorite version of the Affligem. If you were to try this beer out of the bottle, I would recommend dumping it all in rather than excluding the yeast.

Overall

This was a mildly fun learning experience. The whole thing was pretty cute, but I wouldn’t go bang down the doors of your favorite beer shop to get your hands on the pouring kit. I guess it would be cool for a classy beer bar to have one or two of these on hand. Or, maybe you could whip it out at a tasting to show people what kind of flavors are produced by yeast. Or maybe you could show it off to someone you are trying to get in the sack. Or maybe you got it for free in the mail randomly and write a blog post about it. Whatever the case, I don’t think I’ll use it other than this one time. At the very least, I’ll use the little baby yeast glass more than anything else in the kit. It holds just about enough to get a good taste of something at a bottle share. Plus, look how stinkin’ cute it is. It’s adorable! It’s like a glass for fairies or something.

I don’t want it to sound like I’m sitting here bashing Affligem for this. In fact, I think they are doing a great job with their marketing. Almost everything about what they are doing with this pouring kit is pretty impressive. It’s just a little gimmicky, and frankly kind of faux snooty. But really, I guess my point for this whole thing is that I really love getting free stuff, especially beer. So if anyone wants to send me free beer, for the love of God get ahold of me. I might even write a stupid blog post about it.

Fantôme Saison, A Ghostly Brew

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Fantome Saison

Man, you remember when saisons weren’t made by tiny breweries from Vermont and made up a good chunk of everyone’s best of list? It’s like you had to go to Belgium to get a good saison, and this one from Fantôme was (and still is) one of the most highly rated examples of the style. I got this bottle all the way from Belgium via the glorious internet, cracked it open, and did what every good beer geek does; took diligent notes. This fella clocks in at 8% ABV.

Appearance

The beer is getting its sais on (get it?). It pours a lovely hazy straw color with a huge white head. The lacing was ghostly throughout the whole session. It just hung around and stared at me while I wasn’t looking at it, then would turn away as soon as I faced it like those ghosts in Super Mario World. Nerdy ghost references? I got’em. [Read more…] about Fantôme Saison, A Ghostly Brew

2nd Annual MSD Brew Ha-Ha – Drink beer at school!

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2nd Annual MSD Brew Ha-Ha

Remember when you were in grade school and the teacher would get all mad at you for cracking open a delicious IPA in the middle of class? And you’re all like “You don’t understand. This was only bottled 5 days ago!”. I can’t be the only one, can I? Well now is your chance to get back at your teacher and support the Montessori School of Dayton at the same time. The 2nd Annual MSD Brew Ha-Ha is happening on January 26, and this year is going to be great. Take that, Mrs. Virginia!

All joking aside, this is not an event that you’ll want to miss. There will be some beers available that are tough to find anywhere else – trust me when I say that. There will also be a bunch of your favorite beers from all of those Midwest breweries that make people on the coasts jealous.

Get your tickets today!

 

Join the Montessori School of Dayton for our 2nd annual Brew Ha-Ha craft beer event. It will be a great time to make a few new friends, enjoy a few laughs, taste a few amazing craft beers (and a few great soft drinks as well!) and enjoy some tasty food.

The Brew Ha-Ha (adults only) takes place January 26th from 6-10 pm. Tickets are $30 per person in advance and $35 the night of the event. Attendees receive 10 drink tickets along with a commemorative tasting pint glass. Additional tickets can be purchased at the door for $1 each. Also be sure to purchase raffle tickets to win prizes the night of the event. Proceeds benefit the MSD Capital Improvement fund for the purchase of a new gymnasium floor.

Like our first year, we will concentrate on Midwest craft breweries and offer an opportunity to learn about craft brewing and the wide variety of beer types and brewing styles. Come sample some of the midwest’s finest craft breweries — Brew Kettle, Rivertown, Hoppin’ Frog, Bell’s, New Holland, Troegs, Dark Horse, Founders, Two Brothers, Jolly Pumpkin and more!

We will also be offering on-site beer sales after the event on any opened cases. This will be a fun way to build your ideal six pack of craft beers from the evening.

Please feel free to invite your friends and families to join. Space is limited so get your tickets early!

Oskar Blues Ten Fidy: CAN you dig it?

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Oskar Blues Ten Fidy

So, to my fellow Ohioans, remember when Yuengling came rolling into town? It was chaos. People went absolutely bonkers for that beer. There were villagers with pitchforks, fires in the streets, and I can recall at least three riots just in the tiny cul de sac I live in… which is weird because I don’t even think my neighbors drink beer. I think a few people died. We are used to seeing Yuengling at every bar and gas station around here now, but at first it was nuts. Whatever, the point is that Ohioans love new beer. This week, a little brewery by the name of Oskar Blues came rolling in like they owned the place (and they totally do). Unlike with Yuengling, which caters to a wider audience (nothing wrong with that, I might add!), this time it was time for the beer geeks to take to the streets and rejoice. “Can it be true?” we shouted while lighting our torches. “Is Oskar Blues finally on our shelves?”. Yes, yes indeed they are. And holy crap I’m excited.Oskar Blues Ten Fidy

If you aren’t familiar (or if you haven’t been to pretty much any other state), Oskar Blues made all those delicious craft beers in cans before it was cool to put craft beers in cans. I’m talking ten years ago! Among their canned beauties is the massive imperial stout Ten Fidy, which is probably the most famous and delicious imperial stouts found inside of aluminum. It’s right up there with greats like Plead the Fifth, Expedition Stout, BORIS, and Blackout Stout… Except it comes in a flippin’ can! You crack it open like Natty Light, except it pours like motor oil and tastes good.

Ten Fidy is named so because the alcohol content is 10.50% ABV. Just FYI, “ten fidy” is how the cool kids say “ten point five”. Keep that in mind next time you go shoe shopping. It’s 98 IBUs (International Bittering Units), which helps balance the huge malt flavor. I don’t know how they make it, but I assume that it’s made with a stupid amount of malt and unicorn blood for added tasty magic. Admittedly, it’s a tad pricey at $13-$15 for a 4-pack, but trust me when I tell you that it’s a small price to pay considering how delicious it is. Did I mention it’s delicious? It’s delicious.

A few months ago, I grabbed some of this beer from some website and filmed a review of it. I’m sipping this beer as I type this, and let me tell you it probably holds up to whatever the hell I said in this video (I can’t be bothered to actually re-watch it). So check it out. Or don’t. I don’t care, just go grab some Ten Fidy and thank me later.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwkfWSf7WJk’]

Also make sure you keep your eyes peeled for all the other fantastic Oskar Blues cans like Dale’s Pale Ale, G’knight, Old Chub, and pretty much anything else that has the words “Oskar” and “Blues” on the label.

Stone Enjoy By 11/09/12 IPA – The Countdown to Irrelevancy

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Stone Enjoy By 11.09.12 IPA
This beer has gotta be enjoyed fresh! I know because the bottle told me so. So fresh, in fact, that this very review is going to be irrelevant in a matter of weeks. Not only does the freshness factor come into play, but the fact that this beer has a very limited distribution (this batch only made it to Ohio and Colorado in small numbers) makes this review nearly pointless. However, as the ever-vigilant beer drinker that I am, I figure why the heck not? I mean come on, this beer was only bottled six days ago! You can’t get much fresher than that unless you feel like swimming around in fermenters… which really doesn’t sound like that bad of an idea now that I mention it…

Anyhow, this beer is 9.4% alcohol by volume and was designed to be consumed FRESH. Like, ridiculously fresh (did I mention it was only bottled six days ago?). They threw a bunch of hops in late into the boil (a technique called “hop bursting”) which contributes more hop flavor and aroma rather than bitterness. Check out more information about this beer here. To you Daytonians, this beer has pretty much sold out at most stores already (and thus more irrelevancy), but if you see it on the shelf at your favorite bottle shop then by all means pick it up. Let’s get to reviewin’.

APPEARANCE

This is what those in the advertising business call “Sex Appeal”. This beer just looks good. Crystal clear, yellow-orange-amber in color, resting under a slightly off-white head… Yeah, this is the kind of beer that makes mouths water. I love the look of a good IPA, and this beer has got that look. If this beer was a female, I would try my best to “holla”. If this beer was a painting in an art gallery, I would stare at it intensely and occasionally nod my head so everyone around me knew how much I knew about art or whatever. If this beer was a Big Mac, it would be the one in the picture and not the one you get when you order it. If this beer was a… Ok, you get my point.

SMELL

There are definitely some New Zealand hops in the nose. Notes of grapes, flowers, mango, citrus, earthiness, and a smidge of everyone’s favorite “cat pee” fill my nostrils. There is a deep, dank smell that reminds me of a quaint but “lived-in” basement which adds a bit of charm without being unpleasant. There’s even a bit of hop spice aroma to even things out. There is a good amount of sweet malt, but there’s no mistaking that this beer is all about the hops.Stone Enjoy By 11.09.12

TASTE

Follows the nose very closely. Once again, the first thing I notice is the deep, dank, resiny hop character. There is a bit more pine on the tongue than on the nose, which at first I feared would be the dominating character. As I sip, however, more of the citrus and tropical fruit comes out. The New Zealand hops make another appearance and bring some earthy grape notes with them. As far as bitterness goes, this beer is on the medium side. Sure, it’s bitter, but it’s not a tongue splitter (I rhymed!). There is almost no alcohol flavor whatsoever. This beer has a ridiculous amount of hop character, and there is a slight muddling of flavors which is a tad disappointing. Overall, this beer is pretty tasty but nothing I’ll be craving.

MOUTHFEEL

The mouthfeel really is one of the highlights of this beer. The carbonation and body are both medium, and considering the ABV this beer is not a struggle to drink. The beer coats the mouth with hop resin – the kind that kind of makes you smack your tongue for no explicable reason.

OVERALL

You may have noticed that a word I didn’t use in this review was “bright”. Many IPAs have a bright, refreshing crispness that fellas like me go nuts over. This beer, however, has a somewhat muddled flavor that makes me feel like it’s more of an English IPA than an American IPA, which is crazy talk considering all the American hop flavors. That’s not to say this beer is bad, because it’s not at all! It’s really an excellently balanced IPA, and it drinks more like 6% than 9.4% ABV. That being said, I’m drinking this beer as fresh as possible and it still has a layer of “meh”. Is it worth buying? Yes, absolutely! Is it the IPA to end all IPAs? Not this time. Don’t feel too bad if you missed out on this one (or if you drank it on 11.10.12 or something).

Cheers!

SCORE: ★★★ 3/5

Gourd-geous Beers: Pumpkin Brews

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Dogfish Head Punkin

I love Autumn. I think most people from this part of the country really appreciate this part of the year. I mean, what’s not to love? Everything turns beautiful, the air smells better, you get to wear comfortable clothes combinations (sweatshirt and shorts, anyone?), and perhaps most importantly you get to drink all the amazing seasonal beers that hit the shelves. One of the most flavorful, intriguing, and often misunderstood styles that pops up this time of year is the Pumpkin Ale. To some, the idea of a pumpkin-flavored beer is a complete turn off. To others (like me), we mark our calendars for pumpkin beer season.

A Brief History

At first, it may sound like a pretty odd concept; of all the ingredients out there, why are so many beers made with pumpkin? Believe it or not, pumpkin in beer in America has a very long history. Back in “the day”, it was hard to find malted barley which is generally the most common grain used in today’s beer. Pumpkin, on the other hand, was in abundance and pretty easy to grow. They found out that they could swap out a lot of the barley with things like pumpkin, molasses, sweet potatoes, and squash to produce the sugars needed to make beer. Let’s face it, beers made with crazy ingredients is better than no beer at all – especially considering beer was actually safer to drink than the water at the time. These beers were designed to extract sugar (and therefore alcohol) from pumpkin rather than flavor, so as time went on and malted barley was easier to come by pumpkin was used less and less. Today’s pumpkin beers bear very little resemblance to the more rustic colonial pumpkin beers in that they focus more on pumpkin pie and spice flavors. Many of today’s pumpkin ales are described as “pumpkin pie in a glass”. Mmmm, thirsty yet?

Commercial Examples

There’s a lot of pumpkin beers out there right now. In fact, it seems like every craft brewer out there has a seasonal pumpkin ale nowadays. To be perfectly frank, most pumpkin beers are somewhere between “blech” and “meh”, so how do you know a good one from a bad one? Here’s a few recommendations I have for a starting point to the world of pumpkin beers:

Southern Tier Pumking

Southern Tier – Pumking

Very few beers have a reputation like Pumking. Some love it, some hate it. It is, however, one of the top rated pumpkin beers according to both Beer Advocate and Rate Beer. This beer is a unique experience from the moment you pop off the cap as it fills the room with the aroma of freshly baked pumpkin pie. The taste is the closest thing you will find outside of NASA to being able to drink pumpkin pie – right down to the crust and whipped cream topping. It’s completely over-the-top and unapologetic in it’s huge flavor. Keep an open mind when trying this beer (don’t think beer, think pumpkin pie), and you will be rewarded with a truly unique experience. At 8.6% ABV, you might want to split this beer with two or three friends. Fans of this beer, keep your eyes peeled for the Oak Aged version.

Rivertown Brewing – Pumpkin AleRivertown Pumpkin Ale

This beer only clocks in at 5% ABV, but it feels like a big dessert beer. The thing that separates this beer from other pumpkin ales is the huge amount of sweet vanilla, molasses, cinnamon, and nutmeg flavors and aromas. Even with all of this complexity, this beer drinks very easily. Plus, it’s brewed right here in Ohio!

Dogfish Head – Punkin’

 

This beer may be one of the most popular pumpkin ales on the market, and for good reason. While other pumpkin beers are sometimes on the extreme side of things, Punkin’ actually tastes like beer. A full-bodied beer with a lot of spice character, but beer nonetheless. Nutmeg and brown sugar shine through, yet the beer is remarkably far from being too sweet.

Dogfish Head Punkin

The brewery recommends pairing this beer with turkey, roasted duck, lamb, stuffing, dessert dumplings, and sharp cheddar – in other words, grab a 4-pack while you can (it sells out fast!) and save it until Thanksgiving. You’ll be rewarded with a beer that drinks well during dinner and dessert.

 

 

The Bruery – Autumn Maple

The Bruery Autumn Maple

Ok, so this beer isn’t technically a pumpkin beer since the brewery uses yams instead of pumpkin, but bear with me here! This beer is extremely complex, and at 10.5% it’s the biggest beer in this list. This beer is great for those who enjoy Belgian-style ales. The beer has notes of dark fruits, spices, buttered yams, pecans, and oddly enough pumpkin! The beer features cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, vanilla, molasses, and maple syrup. The Belgian yeast strain adds notes of clove and coriander (neither of which are actually in the beer). A word of caution – this beer almost demands to be shared. Even as tasty as it is, it can be a daunting challenge to finish a bottle to yourself.

 

Sam Adams Fat Jack Imperial Pumpkin AleSam Adams – Fat Jack

This is the first year that Fat Jack has been released, and I would be more than happy to see this beer come around every year. Perhaps the least “pumpkiny” beer on this list, Fat Jack showcases deep flavors of roasty malt, brown sugar, caramel, light cinnamon and nutmeg, noble hops, and just a hint of smoke. This one is definitely on the sweet side of things, but it would also be a fine accompaniment to savory fall dishes like buttery squash. The large format bottle and higher alcohol content (8.6% ABV) make this beer a great candidate for sharing.

 

So there you have it, pumpkin beers! Pumpkin brews sort of have a cult following among beer geeks. They aren’t for everyone, but if you have never had a pumpkin beer then give them a shot. Remember, it’s not important that you like every beer you try. What’s most important is the willingness to try new beers.

Wild Blackberry Beer – Rivertown Ojos Negros

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Rivertown Ojos Negros

Yesterday was apparently Sour Beer Day, so I decided to get all reviewy with a sour that’s been sitting in my fridge for a few weeks. Rivertown‘s Ojos Negros is an American Wilde Ale aged with Blackberries in oak wine barrels. This beer is brewed a stone’s throw away in Cincinnati.

From their website:

AVAILABLE IN 750ML BOTTLE ONLY, RELEASED ONCE YEARLY IN JULY. A WILD FERMENTED BREW AGED IN OAK WINE BARRELS WITH OVER 140 POUNDS OF WHOLE BLACKBERRIES FOR ONE YEAR. 6.3% ABV, 8 SRM, 6 IBU

APPEARANCE

The beer pours a surprisingly clear reddish-brown color with absolutely zero head. There isn’t a lot of visible “bubbliness”, which is somewhat surprising. It actually looks very much like a slightly carbonated wine. It definitely gained a lot of color from the blackberries, let’s find out if it gained any aroma/flavor from them. [Read more…] about Wild Blackberry Beer – Rivertown Ojos Negros

Troegs Java Head Stout – Video Review

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[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Es-_sJK7eA’]

This is the Snobby Beer review of Java Head Stout from Tröegs Brewing Co in Hershey, PA. This year-round beer features coffee that is added via the hopback vessel, where the hot wort passes through what is essentially a giant French Press on its way to fermentation. This is also one of the first stouts that got me into craft beer!

This beer is available year round in the Dayton area wherever quality beers are sold.

From the Troegs website:Troegs Java Head Stout

“Alcohol by Volume: 7.5%
Hop Bitterness (IBUs): 60
Color (SRM): Black
Availability: Year Round
Malts: Pilsner, Crystal, Chocolate, Roast
JuJu: Oats, Blend of Coffee Beans
Hops: Cluster, Chinook, Cascade
Yeast: Unfiltered Ale

JavaHead Stout contains a blend of locally roasted espresso and Kenyan coffee beans by St. Thomas Roasters in Linglestown, PA.

JavaHead’s recipe is based off of our original oatmeal stout. After the boil, the hot wort passes through our hopback vessel on it’s way to fermentation. Packed full of whole leaf hops and a bed of ground coffee beans, the hopback vessel is similar to using a huge French press, intensifying the coffee nose and releasing subtle hints of coffee flavor. The result is a lush oatmeal mouthfeel balanced with cocoa, roasted barley and subtle coffee flavors.

FOOD COMPLIMENTS
Cheese (earthy; Camembert, Fontina) General (Chocolate, Dessert) Meat (Shellfish, Smoked Meat)

Serving Suggestions:
Temp: 50-55°F Glassware: Pint or Mug”

Questions? Suggestions? Let me know what you think! Grab a beer and leave a comment.

Insanity! A Beer Review

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This is the Snobby Beer review of Insanity from Weyerbacher Brewing Company in Easton, Pennsylvania. This seasonal beer is a bourbon barrel aged version of their year-round English Barleywine, Blithering Idiot. Clocking in at a whopping 11.1% ABV, this beer is big and bold. You may have seen my text review of this beer, but this is a beer that I feel deserves a video review!

From the Weyerbacher website:

Weyerbacher Insanity“Insanity is made by aging our perfectly balanced Blithering Idiot Barleywine in oak bourbon casks. This incredible combination creates a mélange of flavors from rich malts, raisons, and dates to oak, vanilla, and bourbon. Insanity will be yours this February!!!

Insanity is 11.1% ABV. It is best enjoyed in a brandy snifter and served at 45-55ºF.”

 

 

 

 

 

Here is the text review for this beer:

APPEARANCE

This beer is extremely murky. Reddish-brown with almost no light coming through. The head was about a finger and disappeared completely after a few moments. Admittedly it’s not the prettiest beer, but you can tell from the looks that it is good and hearty. It looks like a typical unfiltered barleywine.

SMELL

Lots of biscuit in the nose. The oak comes through, as do raisin and dark fruits such as plums and overly-ripe apricots. A very slight tinge of alcohol comes through, but not as much as one would expect from a 11.1% beer. As it warms, the alcohol becomes more pronounced yet it’s still fairly well hidden. There is a hint of spice such as cloves or nutmeg, albeit they are very mild.

TASTE

Ah – this is everything I like in a good barleywine. Tons and tons of dark fruits – dark overly-ripe cherries, plum, raisin, and apricot. I am reminded of cognac while I sip due to the wonderful fruit flavors. It’s very sweet, in fact it is almost syrupy which, in this case, is very pleasant.There’s a large amount of bread and biscuit flavors. The alcohol is extremely hidden in this beer, there’s only a slight taste of the alcohol after you swallow. The oak is sort of an afterthought, and I probably wouldn’t have noticed it if the smell didn’t come through. The aftertaste lasts and lasts, almost never quite leaving the mouth.

Weyerbacher InsanityMOUTHFEEL

This one’s a sipper. It’s very thick and syrupy with almost no carbonation. It’s slightly warming, but not as much as you’d think for having such a high ABV. It’s not easy drinking by any means, but rather the type of beer you sit and enjoy over the course of an hour (or longer!).

OVERALL

Excellent, excellent English style Barleywine. It’s got all of the delicious dark fruits and biscuit notes, and the oak adds a really nice bit of complexity that makes you crave more. This almost reminds me of Dogfish Head’s 120 Minute IPA as far as the extreme fruit flavors. I don’t know how old my bottle was (couldn’t find a date anywhere), but I can tell this beer ages b-e-a-utifully. This is an awesome beer and is relatively easy to find (if you get Weyerbacher, that is) so I am definitely going to hold this beer in very high regards. Grab a few of these for the winter months, and enjoy in your favorite reading chair while snuggling up under some covers before bed.

Cheers.

SCORE: ★★★★ 4/5

Questions? Suggestions? Let me know what you think! Grab a beer and leave a comment.

This review is also available at Snobby Beer.

Sixpoint Bengali Tiger Video Review

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[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdS0CqRc3hs&’]

Brand new to Ohio! This is the Snobby Beer review of Bengali Tiger from Sixpoint Craft Ales in Brooklyn, New York. Sixpoint produces beers that are available in cans, and just recently became distributed in Ohio. The website claims that this beer is inspired by a homebrewed IPA.

From the Sixpoint website:Sixpoint Bengali Tiger

“What immortal hand or eye. Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
The Sixpoint homebrewed IPA interpretation. Blaze orange in color, with an abundance of citrus hop bitterness, and a full pine and grapefruit bouquet in the aroma.”

Questions? Suggestions? Let me know what you think! Grab a beer and leave a comment.

Beers of St. Patrick’s Day – Video Reviews

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St. Patty’s day is just around the corner. As with most things having to do with Irish-Americans, this means a lot of alcohol consumption. I can attest to the validity of  this statement due to my heritage, which is mostly Irish (though you’d never know that because of my German last name). While most people think of Guinness as the quintessential St. Patrick’s Day beer, there are other options out there – in fact, there are a TON of beers to satisfy your Celtic craving. I recently shot reviews of a few of these beers. Check out these videos

 

Murphy's Irish Stout

Murphy’s Irish Stout

 

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJOfKb75n4I’] This is the Snobby Beer review of Murphy’s Irish Stout from Cork, Ireland. Murphy’s is sort of known as the “other” Irish Dry Stout, and is available in cans and draught. The can features a nitrogen widget that produces smaller bubbles than carbon dioxide, which gives the impression of a smoother, creamier beer. This beer is only 4% Alcohol by Volume. Murphy’s was bought by Heineken in 1983.

Killian's Irish Red

Killian’s Irish Red

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nkkk1_f1XMs’] This one is pretty much only “Irish” in name. Killian’s is an amber/red lager brewed by Coors Brewing Company, and is available year-round. According to the website, Killian’s started as a more traditional Irish Red Ale. George Killian supposedly wanted to share his beer so much that he brought it to America. Whether or not this story is true, nobody can deny the fact that this is one of the most widely available beers on the market in America today.

 

That’s it. No, seriously, there’s no more beer reviews. Were you expecting something else?

 

…Oh, what the heck, here’s the Guinness reviews I shot last year.

 

Guinness

Guinness Draught

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upwI1ApnUnA’]Guinness Draught is made by Guinness Ltd, located in Dublin, Ireland. Guinness Draught is arguably the most famous stout on the planet. Unlike most stouts, which are generally on the heavier side, Guinness is actually lighter than some light beers! The perceived “heaviness” of Guinness comes from the nitrogen, which produces smaller bubbles.

Guinness Foreign Extra Stout

Guinness Foreign Extra Stout

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRUOysHCoNM’] Guinness Foreign Extra Stout is the hoppiest stout made by Guinness. Many people say that this is better than Guinness Draught – is it? We find out in this video!

 

These reviews can also be found at Snobby Beer.

Cincinnati Sour Beer – Rivertown Pestilence Review

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Rivertown PestilenceRivertown Brewing Company recently released their first beer of their Brewmaster Reserve Limited Release Series, and the beer is Pestilence. Pestilence is a sour brown ale brewed with 7 varieties of malted barley and wheat. The beer also has has Hibiscus flower, and has gone through the process of sour mashing. You may remember that Rivertown has dabbled in sour beers before.

Rivertown is from the great state of Ohio, and are located in Cincinnati.

From the Rivertown press release:

Rivertown Brewing Co.’s Brewmasters Reserve Limited Release Series is set to kick off next month.

We are pleased to announce the 2012 Brewmasters limited release series starting with the introduction of “Pestilence”. Pestilence is a sour brown ale brewed with 7 varieties of malted barley and wheat, organic whole Hibiscus flower pedals and spicy hops from the Hallertau growing region of Bavaria. The name Pestilence is derived from the ancient biblical term for infection or plague. Through a natural process called sour mashing, we expose the mash to airborne elements for a period of 48 hours allowing for a natural infection to arise causing the beer to sour. After this process is complete, we collect the sweet, sour runnings and introduce the spicy hops. We then boil it for a period of 1 hour and steep it with fresh hibiscus flower pedals. The end result is a wonderfully aromatic blend of fresh botanical herbs and mouth puckering sourness.

Pestilence will be the first of four brews released in 2012 centered around the ancient Mayan apocalypse of 2012 which signifies the world’s end on December 21st. Pestilence holds significance as being one of the Four Horseman set loose upon the world acting as a harbinger of the last judgment charging through at worlds end carrying wheat and a fist full of barley.

Release Date: Early February 2012
Alcohol by Volume: 5.4%
Color: 20 SRM (Brown)
Style Guideline: Wild/American Sour Ale/Brown Ale
Availability: 12 oz bottles 24-loose case/ 1/6bbl keg
Malts Used: Pilsner, Pale, Carabelge, White Wheat, Chocolate, Dark crystal, Munich
Hops: Hallertau Perle
Specialty Ingredients: Organic Hibiscus Flower Pedals
Serving Temp: 55F

P.S.- Save one bottle to enjoy as a vertical on December 21st 2012

APPEARANCE

The beer pours a Coca-Cola brown, with just the slightest amount of deep red light poking through. There was a tiny white head when first poured, but it went away fast and left nothing remaining. There was little visible carbonation. Overall, it looks somewhat like a clear Belgian dark – nice looking beer.

SMELL

There’s some interesting aroma coming from this beer. There is some nice dark fruits, such as plum and raisin. There is a bit of Greek yogurt, which is followed by a bit of stomach acid… Not exactly unpleasant, but definitely different. There’s a good amount of sweetness on the nose as well, bringing some nice maltiness and maybe a bit of caramel. The hop character is on the spicy side, bringing some floral and honey-like aromas. Overall, pretty complex but not the most pleasant smelling brew.

Rivertown Pestilence Label

TASTE

 

The taste is fairly different than the aroma. There is a surprising amount of cocoa in this beer, which I was not expecting. There’s a big amount of nutty flavor that reminds me a lot of cashews, which was also unexpected. There is a decent sour twang to it, but it’s not a jaw-locking sourness. More like a pretty solid tartness throughout. The first few sips brought that stomach acid flavor, which reminded me of… well, puke. As it warms up, though, that flavor is replaced with more of a Greek yogurt flavor. There’s a lot of dark fruits in here, as well as some hop spice and floral flavors. This is a pretty complex beer on the tongue!

MOUTHFEEL

This has a bit more body than I had anticipated. There is a nice, dry finish and the tartness creates a crisp mouthfeel. There is a lingering oily feeling that reminds me of the leftover oil from a cashew. It’s pretty easy drinking, but the sort of wild flavors keep this from being a beer you can chug. Nice mouthfeel on this brew.

OVERALL

An unusual beer to say the least. It’s not a sour to end all sours, but it is a unique experience to drink this beer. There’s some interesting funky things going on that makes you want to keep drinking, but it’s not so wild that it’s off putting. Admittedly, the stomach acid aroma and taste frightened me at first, but it smoothed out as the beer warmed. I would definitely recommend trying this beer. It’s fairly cheap for a sour ale, so grab a few bottles and age’em until after the end of the world.

Cheers.

This review can also be found at Snobby Beer.

SCORE: ★★★ 3/5

What The Hell is Beer? Presentation at Pecha Kucha Dayton

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[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB6MIMSungI’]

On February 23, 2012, I was invited to present at Pecha Kucha Dayton Volume 10. Pecha Kucha ( also called PK Night ) is a series of presenters that are required to show 20 images each lasting 20 seconds long. This format allows for a rapid, fast-paced, and eclectic group of presentations.

What The Hell is Beer?

For more information, please visit
http://www.pecha-kucha.org/
http://www.pecha-kucha.org/night/dayton/

This video can also be found at Snobby Beer.